The Student Room Group

So upset over this guy

So this guy I've been friends with for about 1 year, I told him I liked him. (We are both 18) He told me he doesn't want a relationship right now. But he finds me attractive enough to sleep with me. How can I carry on being friends with this guy, now he's practically rejected me? Also, I told him I'm not looking to have sex, so a couple of days ago he asked me what I'm looking for. But what does it even matter to him what I'm looking for, he knows I don't want to just sleep with him... can someone advise me on what I should do now? I don't want to be friends with him anymore. But will that look worse if I avoid him now? I know he wouldn't want that.

Scroll to see replies

Move on
Reply 2
Original post by A-LJLB
Move on


Move on as in stop my friendship with him?
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
Move on as in stop my friendship with him?


Well yeah, I mean you clearly don't want to just be friends with him and it sounds like just wants to have sex with you. You want different things, it won't work out.
You could still be friends with him. Just start seeing other guys.
Well, what you're saying at the moment is you'd rather make yourself feel uncomfortable to spare the feelings of someone who just wants to bang you. Leave him and find someone who's actually going to treat you like a human being, not a thing for his own pleasure.
Why hurt yourself even more by remaining friends with him?
Original post by Anonymous
Move on as in stop my friendship with him?


Yes.

He doesn't like you as a friend (let alone someone he actually has a relationship with), he just wants to $hag you.

That is it, that is all you are to him. He doesn't respect you, he regards you as a tramp. Sorry to be so brutal but that is the truth.

Have some self respect yourself and kick him out of your life and find someone who cares about you.
Reply 8
Original post by astutehirstute
Yes.

He doesn't like you as a friend (let alone someone he actually has a relationship with), he just wants to $hag you.

That is it, that is all you are to him. He doesn't respect you, he regards you as a tramp. Sorry to be so brutal but that is the truth.

Have some self respect yourself and kick him out of your life and find someone who cares about you.

Wow that was harsh :frown: I guess you're right though. I'm just devastated. I thought he would friend zone me if anything. I didn't know he'd go there.
Original post by Anonymous
Wow that was harsh :frown: I guess you're right though. I'm just devastated. I thought he would friend zone me if anything. I didn't know he'd go there.


Sorry for hurting your feelings. :frown:

I just think that if you don't move on from him totally you will end up with more pain, more hurt.

You deserve to spend your time with someone who loves you. And you will, I am confident of it.

But how are you going to find him if you are spending your time with this waste of space? And what is someone who does care for you going to think of the likes of him?

You know I am right in your heart of hearts. Do it.
I'm crying for OP. What a selfish bastard. OP you can do better!!!
Original post by astutehirstute
Sorry for hurting your feelings. :frown:

I just think that if you don't move on from him totally you will end up with more pain, more hurt.

You deserve to spend your time with someone who loves you. And you will, I am confident of it.

But how are you going to find him if you are spending your time with this waste of space? And what is someone who does care for you going to think of the likes of him?

You know I am right in your heart of hearts. Do it.


I know the right thing is to not be friends with him...but he doesn't have any friends apart from me?

Original post by Anonymous
I'm crying for OP. What a selfish bastard. OP you can do better!!!

Thank you :redface:
Leave him
Original post by Anonymous
I'm crying for OP. What a selfish bastard. OP you can do better!!!


He was honest with her so he is the bad guy? Give me a ****ing break :laugh: The worst thing is telling a girl you care about her just to get her into bed before ditching her.
Original post by l'etranger
He was honest with her so he is the bad guy? Give me a ****ing break :laugh: The worst thing is telling a girl you care about her just to get her into bed before ditching her.
I was thinking that as well. I mean I find it a harsh way to think that just because he wants something else he's a complete douche. I respect him for telling me. Do you think I should still avoid being friends with him? If I'm his only friend... :frown:
Original post by Anonymous
I was thinking that as well. I mean I find it a harsh way to think that just because he wants something else he's a complete douche. I respect him for telling me. Do you think I should still avoid being friends with him? If I'm his only friend... :frown:


You should do what makes you happy, you owe him nothing and it's up to him to sort his life out, make friends. You're not his mother and even if you were I'm sure he's old enough to wipe his own ass.
Original post by Anonymous
I was thinking that as well. I mean I find it a harsh way to think that just because he wants something else he's a complete douche. I respect him for telling me. Do you think I should still avoid being friends with him? If I'm his only friend... :frown:


You seem to just be making excuses. How are you going to feel when your "friend" starts sleeping with other girls, and tells you about it despite your feelings. He's not your responsibility.
He's not your friend; he's keeping you around in the hopes that one day you'll see with him/be his friends-with-benefits. Friends don't keep you on the back-burner like this.

Save yourself the confusion and heartache by ditching him. Short term pain for long term happiness, I'd say. No point keeping this sort of rubbish in your life when you can better invest your time in yourself and meeting more and better quality people, or even a potential partner.
Original post by CarysJSLewis
You seem to just be making excuses. How are you going to feel when your "friend" starts sleeping with other girls, and tells you about it despite your feelings. He's not your responsibility.


As much as I think OP should do what's best for her without regard for the guy's well-being, it actually isn't her friend's responsibility to not sleep with other girls just to spare her feelings.
Original post by l'etranger
As much as I think OP should do what's best for her without regard for the guy's well-being, it actually isn't her friend's responsibility to not sleep with other girls just to spare her feelings.


I understand that. But he also can't expect her to stick around just to be his friend after he's shot her down. She's not going to be able to move on, he must know that

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending