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I hate smartphones; people obsess over them.

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Does anyone else have this problem in their relationships where people are more interested in playing with their phone than having a conversation?

I start 2 new modules at university next term which I'm worried about - I didn't make any friends last term despite my attempts. When waiting outside rooms for class, literally everyone was on their phone. I tried talking to people but it was clear they wanted to be left alone.

Even my girlfriend is often more attentive to her phone than me. We live together so I get that it can be kind of intense. However, when we go out for food she'll tinker on her phone until the food arrives, ignoring me, and will eat with 1 hand with her phone in the other.

I don't understand how to make friends when everyone is so engrossed with their phone. I feel really hurt by my girlfriend's behaviour too.

This kind of usage of smartphones is disgusting but i'll continue to use my hone until someone talks to me. When someone talks to me it's good manners to put that phone away and engage in the conversation.

Original post by cbreef

The irony is that smartphones often make people more antisocial.

Iz funni bc they don't maek ppl moar smart

Reply 41

Abdukazam

Original post by Nirvana1989-1994

Yeah I'm like 'Have you got someone more important, than me, to talk to?'

Answer's usually no. :h:

Except when asking me :biggrin:

Reply 42

Nirvana1989-1994

Original post by Abdukazam

Except when asking me :biggrin:

Erm...no.

Reply 43

Anonymous #1

Original post by will'o'wisp

I think it's difficult to start speaking to someone if they're standing there staring at their phone. How do you know who will put it away and who really doesn't want to interact?

Reply 44

Abdukazam

Original post by Nirvana1989-1994

Erm...no.

I have said it for a laugh before, it's just my personality, i'm a bit of a dick

Reply 45

Nirvana1989-1994

Original post by Abdukazam

I have said it for a laugh before, it's just my personality, i'm a bit of a dick

Reply 46

will'o'wisp

Original post by Anonymous

I think it's difficult to start speaking to someone if they're standing there staring at their phone. How do you know who will put it away and who really doesn't want to interact?

Grow the balls to ask?

Reply 47

ByronicHero

This awesome thing was one of my phones back when I was school - I bought it myself with the proceeds of buying and selling things to other kids :lol:

. The world has moved on a lot :yes:

I have had a smart phone for 6 or 7 years now and was attached to it but care less and less as I get older. It certainly annoys me if I go to a restaurant with people and half of them sit on their phones. product of the times though, I suppose.

Reply 48

tapir

Original post by Anonymous

Does anyone else have this problem in their relationships where people are more interested in playing with their phone than having a conversation?

Listen to this song, it's very relevant:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnsI67bHpmk

Attachment not found

Reply 49

AngloIndoCrew

The spread of instant easy communication has come at the expense of integrity, personal depth and community. It has now never been easier for young women to become discreet skets.

Reply 50

marers

Smartphone use is a plague. It's voluntary so it's more like heroin addiction than the Black Death. A level of heroin addiction that has become normal and is ruining society.

What we need is some oases that are smartphone-free. Some of us have never used them; some people ditch them; others want to start having at least some time and space in their lives where they aren't dominated by them.

The model of Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous groups may not be perfect, or even completely applicable, but it would be a start.

There's no doubt that the smartphone plague is a very very big problem that people may nod their heads about in twos and threes, and they may even sometimes recognise that official figures for mental illness among young people are rising, etc. etc., but there is extremely little in the way of any consequential recognition of this social problem as something that can be reduced, because it has become so widespread and normalised.

In short: just say no. Let others mock if they want.

But the question arises: then what?

Here is an article from Vanity Fair about how the smartphone plague is ruining many young people's enjoyment of sex - increasing numbers of women in their 20s don't have orgasms and increasing numbers of men in the some age group find it hard to get erections.

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 51

B3ar93

Send them a friend request on Facebook then use messenger to talk with them, even when your in their company.

But honestly, yeah. I hate phones. But I’m also guilty of playing with mine when I feel uncomfortable. Like now for example. Now I’m on this instead of making eye contact with the strangers around me. Because eye contact is too intense.

Reply 52

marers

Original post by Anonymous

Even my girlfriend is often more attentive to her phone than me. We live together so I get that it can be kind of intense. However, when we go out for food she'll tinker on her phone until the food arrives, ignoring me, and will eat with 1 hand with her phone in the other.

If I were you I'd tell her the phone goes or I do. You've got a right to expect basic good manners, assuming of course that you show her good manners too.

The other option is to make a big effort to help her, which she will probably fight with all her might. It's like having a son or daughter or boyfriend or girlfriend who is a heroin addict. Many have tried to help heroin addicts kick their addiction and most have failed. It's practically impossible for an addict to pull themselves out of their addiction if they don't realise they've got a problem.

I'm sure Alcoholics Anonymous can be criticised for some things but the way that new members start by saying "I'm X and I'm an alcoholic" is sensible. Someone may have denied to themselves for years that that's what they are, telling themselves it's just a taste or something they enjoy doing that doesn't harm them and doesn't harm anyone else either, which they can easily stop. Then there comes a point where they tell themselves no, that's not true, and it's really hard to stop, they've got a big problem, and they are the one who can solve it, and it's going to take a lot of effort, which may prove difficult because the addiction has been sapping their willpower for a long time - it's been taking them over. Recognition takes courage and that's when they start to address it and get themselves on the path towards solving it, towards being cured. Meanwhile Narcotics Anonymous were the origin of the famous observation that "the definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result" - a well-expressed piece of wisdom based on experience.

Users have to look at e.g. the behaviour of not being able to enjoy a meal with another person without having most of their consciousness directed towards a smartphone, either physically picking at it or mentally fidgeting for whatever rubbish might come up on its screen next. That kind of behaviour is seriously affecting people's lives and there has to be a "Rumpelstiltskin" moment when they realise and think to themselves "Is this what I am like? This is terrible - for me and for those around me. I've got to stop."