The Student Room Group

If you had to hide a dead body, what would you do?

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Original post by retro_turtles
It would take forever


It'd take several hours, but then that's just one evening keep topping up the fire with lighter fluid. Still quicker and easier and more likely to go undiscovered than any other method I reckon.
Original post by WoodyMKC
It'd take several hours, but then that's just one evening keep topping up the fire with lighter fluid. Still quicker and easier and more likely to go undiscovered than any other method I reckon.


Yes but during those several hours theres a chance it'll be discovered plus the smell of it.
Original post by retro_turtles
Yes but during those several hours theres a chance it'll be discovered plus the smell of it.


Just bonfire it with some other bits. Wood, paper, maybe even a bit of rubber, nothing out of the ordinary about a bonfire and the other stuff will mask the smell. Doesn't matter than the ash in then in your back garden, it'll mix in with the ash of the wood and paper and be unidentifiable anyways.
Reply 63
Original post by WoodyMKC
Just bonfire it with some other bits. Wood, paper, maybe even a bit of rubber, nothing out of the ordinary about a bonfire and the other stuff will mask the smell. Doesn't matter than the ash in then in your back garden, it'll mix in with the ash of the wood and paper and be unidentifiable anyways.


Just randomly have a fire in your area after someone has been murdered? That will just draw attention you stupid ****. Stick to punching babies you little coward.
Original post by olitre
Just randomly have a fire in your area after someone has been murdered? That will just draw attention you stupid ****. Stick to punching babies you little coward.


Well I assume you wouldn't have told anyone/nobody would know that you've murdered somebody, so why would it look suspect? Stinkbox showing his stupidity once again :rofl:

Reply 65
Original post by WoodyMKC
Well I assume you wouldn't have told anyone/nobody would know that you've murdered somebody, so why would it look suspect? Stinkbox showing his stupidity once again :rofl:



Because you just randomly decided to have a fire at the same time someone in the area has been murdered. Unless you have fires everynight then just randomly having a fire one night at a time of a murder would create suspicion.

You clown.
Original post by hezzlington
So you're going to have to jump down a 6 foot hole in the ground with a spade to manually dig up I imagine around 3 - 4 more feet of mud otherwise it will be obvious somebody has tampered with the original grave. Now the hole you find yourself in is like 10 feet deep. How will you get out of this hole?

:holmes:


I'll wear a harness and tie a rope around a tree :mmm:
Original post by olitre
Because you just randomly decided to have a fire at the same time someone in the area has been murdered. Unless you have fires everynight then just randomly having a fire one night at a time of a murder would create suspicion.

You clown.


There are many reasons to have bonfires. People do it all the time. Nobody knows the person has been murdered. What you're saying doesn't add up.
Reply 68
Original post by WoodyMKC
There are many reasons to have bonfires. People do it all the time. Nobody knows the person has been murdered. What you're saying doesn't add up.


Hardly anyone ever has bonfires in their neighbourhood unless its the 5th of november

They will know the person has gone missing though and will be looking at all possibilities and if you setting your garden on fire you just giving yourself away you circus act.
Original post by WoodyMKC
You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. When you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig s***, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".


I like this, but just to clarify, why are the pigs able to digest the bones but not the teeth?
Original post by olitre
Hardly anyone ever has bonfires in their neighbourhood unless its the 5th of november

They will know the person has gone missing though and will be looking at all possibilities and if you setting your garden on fire you just giving yourself away you circus act.


Where TF do you live :rofl: You're talking absolute bollox, people have bonfires for many reasons and certainly not just on Nov 5th. Be it to get rid of dead leaves, logs from cutting down trees, burning old broken furniture, stuff like that because it's better than chucking it in landfill. Some people even gather their private documents and burn them rather than sitting in front of a shredder for ages. Though, I get the impression that you don't have much involvement in the real world so I shouldn't assume you'd know these things.
Original post by WoodyMKC
Where TF do you live :rofl: You're talking absolute bollox, people have bonfires for many reasons and certainly not just on Nov 5th. Be it to get rid of dead leaves, logs from cutting down trees, burning old broken furniture, stuff like that because it's better than chucking it in landfill. Some people even gather their private documents and burn them rather than sitting in front of a shredder for ages. Though, I get the impression that you don't have much involvement in the real world so I shouldn't assume you'd know these things.


It's because TSR is full of poncy Londoners. Apparently they shred their documents and recycle the paper??? :confused:
Original post by IFoundWonderland
I'll wear a harness and tie a rope around a tree :mmm:


Ayyy she knows. Natural born killer. :sexface:
Erm maybe drop it in some sort of volcano or hot spring somewhere.Assuming I live In a country with a nice convenient volcano.As for pigs that wouldn't work.Presumably there would still be human DNA in the pigs to find or in their poop.You would have to kill the pigs as well and dispose of them perhaps with a second set of pigs.
Original post by l'etranger
It's because TSR is full of poncy Londoners. Apparently they shred their documents and recycle the paper??? :confused:


He's that known troll Ttingtox so he might very well just be playing stupid, though does have a reputation for not being very bright genuinely so I dunno :rofl:
IKR, who has the patience to get the shredder out every time it becomes clear that a document mustn't be disposed of in the regular way, or even gather them and sit in front of a shredder for an hour or two :rofl: I just have a bag in the cupboard and chuck them all in it, then burn when full.
Original post by WoodyMKC
You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. When you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig s***, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".


I came here to post the exact same thing. Well played.
I wouldn't kill anyone in the first place 👀
Original post by Robby2312
Erm maybe drop it in some sort of volcano or hot spring somewhere.Assuming I live In a country with a nice convenient volcano.As for pigs that wouldn't work.Presumably there would still be human DNA in the pigs to find or in their poop.You would have to kill the pigs as well and dispose of them perhaps with a second set of pigs.


Funny you should say this, as this kind of thing has been tested.
Original post by l'etranger
It's because TSR is full of poncy Londoners. Apparently they shred their documents and recycle the paper??? :confused:


Ngl, I do this :hide:
Reply 79
This thread explains why you don't meet up with TSRians.

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