The Student Room Group

Can YOU be just friends with someone you're attracted to?

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Original post by Laeliakiwi
Stranger danger :badger:


I can't say that I'm too concerned about that. :badger:
Original post by Nirvana1989-1994
I can't say that I'm too concerned about that. :badger:


Such a rebel :badger:
Original post by Laeliakiwi
Such a rebel :badger:


That's me. :wink:
I'm trying to be, but it's difficult :redface: Every little thing that's okay in just a friendship (late replies etc) seem more if an issue for me if I also like the person... So I question whether it can last :frown:
Reply 24
Those are the best friendships if she's a little flirty. Just so long as you know where the line is, it can be fun.
i've done it before lol
maybe
Original post by Nirvana1989-1994
That's me. :wink:


You killed it :colonhash:
Yes if you both know it's going nowhere and ya do nothing...
Yeah, I think people overcomplicate this male/female friendships thing. I agree it's a bad idea to be friends with an ex you are not over but having friendships from the opposite sex is healthy and normal and you can find someone attractive but not be pining over why they aren't with you.
I think that if you really like someone a lot in that way, but they don't feel the same way towards you its unhealthy to maintain a friendship with them. Because a friendship will never really be what you want to have, you will always want something more with them. The more time you spend getting to know them the more feelings you will develop. You will constantly be hoping they might feel differently about you over time, but sometimes it's just not meant to be unfortunately. If you continue the friendship, over time you may have to come to terms with the fact that they may begin to date other people and talk to you about them which is the hardest thing of all. Ultimately it is best to move on entirely if someone doesn't feel the same way about you as you do them. Try to have as little means of contact and reminders of them as possible. It will initially hurt but over time when you meet someone better it will seem like the best decision you could have made.
Reply 31
I definitely couldn't/ can't. It's just really difficult with the whole attraction being there 24/7. The more time you spend with them, the more the attraction grows and if you guys are really close friends then it could even end up with you falling in love with them whilst they still think of you as just a great friend.
I couldn't do it. Since the attraction is always there, being legitimate friends wouldn't work.
Reply 33
It can work as long as you don't ask them out and get officially friendzoned
ye, a lot of people are attractive. It's not really a big deal.

The way I deal with that if I actually fancy them is just asking em out early on and if they don't want to you can forget about it completely and then you're just normal friends.


It's hard being friends with someone you were/are in love with though, like an ex gf.
(edited 7 years ago)
I met a guy on Tinder who lived in MK. He is about 3 years older than me etc. I would say we are friends but we have our confusing moments.
Its worse for me though I go to an all girls boarding school so he is practically MY SOURCE
Original post by Laeliakiwi
You killed it :colonhash:


:wink:
Yes, I had a crush on a friend when I first met her but was pretty sure she was straight and didn't want to make things awkward by making a move. Was mostly over it when she introduced me to a guy and ended up falling for him instead. Kind of wish I'd at least kissed her though, what ifs are annoying.

It only works if you're still interested in other people though. As soon as you're fixated on that one person the friendship is doomed.

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