Throughout years 10 and 11 I spent a few of my lessons sitting next to a girl who i greatly enjoyed talking to (and eventually ended up developing quite a strong attraction to her).
I ended up telling her how I felt at the end of year 11, she said she felt the same way and that we should start meeting up outside of school.
However, within a few days things started to get very strange. I was talking to her on FB and she seemed very reluctant to talk about anything at all, and would simply go offline if I mentioned meeting up at all.
Being in denial, I carried on trying to talk to her on FB, our conversations got shorter and shorter. We did eventually meet up once after I'd asked a few times if she had any ideas about where we could go. However after this our conversations got incredibly short and we ended up pretty much not talking at all.
Eventually, she ended up saying that she simply said that she felt the same way about me because she wasn't sure how she felt, but wanted to give it a chance. We didn't meet up again, we had a few few-line conversations over the last couple of years on FB but nothing more.
Looking back, we did enjoy our time together mostly, but I think (she never gave me any indication whatsoever) the only problem was simply that back then I was quite a miserable guy. Looking back, even I wouldn't have wanted to hang out with myself. Aside from this, I felt as though she generally enjoyed spending time with me? I can't be certain of course, but I certainly don't think she hated doing so.
We don't go to the same school anymore, I do see her most weeks once a week at a swimming club but we haven't spoken to each other at all, we haven't had a chance even if we wanted to.
Anyway, two years on, I learnt from this rejection and have become a far more positive outgoing individual however I still end up thinking about her, I can't help but wonder if it'd work out now. The issue is, I have absolutely no idea how the hell I'd be able to get another chance.
Given that we haven't spoken properly for two years, it'd be bizzare for me to just ask to meet up with her. I know this is an awful and ridiculous idea, but I want to do so anyway. Even if it doesn't end up in a relationship, I genuinely just want to spend time with her as a friend because I really enjoyed her company, talking with her has undoubtedly been my favourite moments in my short life thus far.
If anyone has any advice on this, I'd greatly appreciate it. Although I oddly feel much better having just typed this all out.