Staying friends with an ex

@UWS
What your take on this?

It's healthy to cut all contact with them imo, that way you can both move on.

I don't have an ex smh...

I don't think there's anything 'wrong' as such (it can work for some people) but it's the people who stay friends with exes and the complain that they're seeing another person for example that really gets on my nerves. To fully move on you do need to cut contact, it's all part of the recovery process. Staying friends means you still have some interaction with them and that's only going to make you want them more. If you stay friends, be prepared to live with your ex seeing other people or having sex, that's something you will have to deal with. I personally wouldn't stay friends with exes and I don't see any point unless I wanted to cling onto hope that we'll get back together again. Then again there's a reason why it never worked out in the first place....

I get that, naturally things fizzle out or if you end up on good terms then it can work out to be friends, although I'd hate for them to become dependent on me if we do break up.

As soon as someone becomes my ex, they are BLOCKED on everything.

The new year always sparks some thought but lately I've been thinking, is it even possible to be friends with an ex? It's just something I think about especially when friends are often conflicted with staying friends with an ex or not.

My own experience of it has been a disaster. Me and my ex split in April after a nice run of over two years and it wasn't a good break up at all. I'm a nice person so I did end up staying friends with him only for me to want him again and for him to keep pestering me for another run even though he is the one who dumped me. He became dependent on my friendship and would try to make me jealous when he began dating other girls. I did block him several times before unblocking and finding phone calls and voice mails and friend requests on Facebook and I told him to move on and forget me. Since November he's not bothered me and luckily he can't.

But is there ever a possibility for exes to stay friends or is it a no no?

Savage, have you ever bumped into them in the real world after breaking up?

My most recent partner and I are still best friends. That being said, there wasn't a big huge issue that broke us up - she just said she couldn't do it any more because reasons. We broke up in late October, I called NC for 30 days, and we're pretty much as we used to be now. Just without sex or talk of that nature.

It is difficult? YES. I'm still upset by it. But I'm surviving, and I'm glad that she is too.

But it entirely depends on why you broke up. From what I've seen you saying on here recently, it sounds like you had a harder time than your partner going 'I think I'm gay and I know my mind's a rat's nest and I need to be alone to figure it out.'

Thanks, I hope I can, I'm not too bothered by it anymore but I guess significant dates always remind me of what we had and could have had, I don't think we should have stayed friends even if we wanted to, but I guess what bothers me is seeing him again as we live so close by, and could be studying in the same place for one year and I'm sorry to hear about your experience. I think my ex is secretly gay to be honest, he had a sexual experience before we dated and apparently during with a guy and he would always act like he was hiding something. Shame, as he would often berate me for being bisexual.

Sounds like he might be, from what you've said. In which case that would be why he got at you for being bi.

people are awful ain't they?