Over the last few months, I have came to the realisation that I am quite lonely and I am afraid that this loneliness will characterise the rest of my life as it has done throughout my university career.
My realisation formed during Halloween last year and has been eating away at me till the point that I needed to talk about it. During the holiday, like everyone does, I planned to go out and have a good night at the pub as every pub in the city (Glasgow) had a party. It wasn't until I went to the student pub that evening that I realised how alone I truly was. I attempted to ask some 'Friends' to come along which proved fruitless as they were all too busy with their business (I discovered that my only three friends whom I contacted had planned a party separately and actively kept me out the loop) and since I have no friends from other areas of my life (School/Work), I ended up drinking alone in the pub while 20 groups of friends had fun around me (I did try to open up conversation at the bar but I was repeatedly shut down). It's the worst feeling in the world when you're sitting miserable with a drink looking at your phone so you're not staring into the distance and creeping people out while everyone else is having a ball.
My University is also not known to be the best place for starting relationships as Glasgow Caledonian has quite a poor social standing compared to other local universities. We don't have a union (the function of a union is outsourced to a local franchise) and the student services/representation department which run clubs, gear them towards social/business study students as they have more free time between classes. I have tried to include myself among them, but I couldn't enter the clique simply due to my hobbies not being similar and my field of study.
Another major problem I have is that my social skills are quite poor with the opposite sex, partly due to being in a course (specialist engineering) that only has males (for the last 3 years) and my constant failure with women. I have attempted many times to get close to a women of my age (22) during other areas of my life but I have been rejected constantly with no success for the last 3 years. I have tried joining clubs and working for my university but I have found that everyone I ask out for a coffee or drink is either already taken (with a few making fun of me to that fact) or simply them saying they don't have anything in common with me. I have tried the usual advice; go to nightclubs (every girl I met in a club in my experience is there with their BF), go to do a hobby (not many ladies my age like philosophy, blues and the avant garde) and online dating (never got a single reply or like in a 3 month trial).
Now as I am approaching the end of my university course, I am beginning to realise that this loneliness might be how my future will play out with no love life and no friends, this especially seems prudent when my possible occupations after uni are mostly quite unsocial and sadly quite devoid of female contact (there is no reason as to why I have encountered so few female engineers, it beggars belief ).
I simply don't know what to do, I have been quite depressed for the last two months thinking about it, I get quite sad about my lack to relationship success and recently seeing happy couples has began to give me some self-loathing. I have had some really awful rejections in the past which now make me hesitant to even attempt something like that again and with no friends to talk to (or any personal interaction), I am quite lost.
Apologies if this is really long, it has been building up for quite a while and I can't about my problems to anyone (who wants to depressed by what I have to say?).
Any help?
Kaithen