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Masturbating in relationships

Just needed an opinion on the matter. Mature ones only please.

Me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year and have sex or do sexual things everytime we see each other which is a most 2 or 3 days apart. I recently found out he has been Masturbating to different girls and looking at sexual pictures.
We are quite open about fantasies and things and everything he has said he liked we have done and do regularly. However the fact that he masturbates to these pictures makes me feel very uncomfortable.
Is this normal? I feel like I'm doing something wrong. And is Masturbating to pictures worse than watching porn.
I worry that the pictures are worse because he will be imagining doing things with other girls and that I can't compare to them.
Reply 1
It's not normal, pictures aren't as bad as porn but I don't think it leads to a healthy relationship.
Well, you can't really control him, but you can sit him down and have a proper chat about it. Hopefully he'll understand how you're feeling and you can come to some sort of arrangement
Completely normal.

Unless they are girls he knows, in which case it is fairly common (unfortunately) but not okay.
I find it a bit odd that you have sex every time you see him. I mean it's good but seems like your relationship is based on sex?
Normal indeed.

You are not the only woman he finds sexually stimulating. However, it's probably just that. He looks at other women for stimulation, nothing more. It's no indication he's going to cheat. It's restricted to just a harmless fantasy.
Their he sees you as a short term thing or he is just outrageously horny. If you both are young couples I wouldn't emotionally invest in this relationship,
Every 2-3 days is obviously not enough for his sex drive. He prefers pictures to videos, obviously. I wouldn't look into it any more than that, unless it's pics of girls he knows.
It's completely normal. If it's people he's knows in real life then it's not okay, but still most guys do it.

Masturbation is simply because you're not there..... if you were there I bet he'd much rather have sex with you instead!
Ngl that would personally annoy me.
Masturbating in a relationship isn't unhealthy. I do so fairly regularly, as does my girlfriend (albeit usually to erotica or fantasies; my girlfriend prefers porn) and we've been together for 4 years. It's not as unusual as you think, and it doesn't mean he doesn't find you attractive. Sometimes you just feel a certain way and want to use a different "look", setting or personality to get off.
Original post by Anonymous
Masturbating in a relationship isn't unhealthy. I do so fairly regularly, as does my girlfriend (albeit usually to erotica or fantasies; my girlfriend prefers porn) and we've been together for 4 years. It's not as unusual as you think, and it doesn't mean he doesn't find you attractive. Sometimes you just feel a certain way and want to use a different "look", setting or personality to get off.


Hi, My fiance and I have been together for 5 yrs we have great sex, but only 2 times a week, but he is masterbating every day sometimes twice a day and sometimes after we have sex, I talked to him about this and told him that it hurts my feelings really bad, and please don't do it while I'm home he said it hangs from his body and if he wants to Jack it he will, I told him the reason why I don't like it, it's because I was molested many times as a child and he masterbated on me all the time, I was 5 yrs old, but my fiance just don't seem to care. He laughed and said that if he wants to do it he will do it, our sex is great but he just don't want to have it with me that much anymore, but he says he loves me. Help me please! What do I do?
Reply 12
Original post by gabriellakhan
I find it a bit odd that you have sex every time you see him. I mean it's good but seems like your relationship is based on sex?


You're the odd one.
Reply 13
Original post by Anonymous
Just needed an opinion on the matter. Mature ones only please.

Me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year and have sex or do sexual things everytime we see each other which is a most 2 or 3 days apart. I recently found out he has been Masturbating to different girls and looking at sexual pictures.
We are quite open about fantasies and things and everything he has said he liked we have done and do regularly. However the fact that he masturbates to these pictures makes me feel very uncomfortable.
Is this normal? I feel like I'm doing something wrong. And is Masturbating to pictures worse than watching porn.
I worry that the pictures are worse because he will be imagining doing things with other girls and that I can't compare to them.

Make films together.
Original post by wendy199242
Hi, My fiance and I have been together for 5 yrs we have great sex, but only 2 times a week, but he is masterbating every day sometimes twice a day and sometimes after we have sex, I talked to him about this and told him that it hurts my feelings really bad, and please don't do it while I'm home he said it hangs from his body and if he wants to Jack it he will, I told him the reason why I don't like it, it's because I was molested many times as a child and he masterbated on me all the time, I was 5 yrs old, but my fiance just don't seem to care. He laughed and said that if he wants to do it he will do it, our sex is great but he just don't want to have it with me that much anymore, but he says he loves me. Help me please! What do I do?


Christ. If your fiancee knows what happened to you and knows the abuse involved your abuser masturbating and you find him doing this in front of you uncomfortable for that reason, I would call him deeply insensitive and selfish.
Original post by markova21
Christ. If your fiancee knows what happened to you and knows the abuse involved your abuser masturbating and you find him doing this in front of you uncomfortable for that reason, I would call him deeply insensitive and selfish.


He says hes not going to stop
Just because it hurts my feelings
Original post by wendy199242
He says hes not going to stop
Just because it hurts my feelings


Well then I think you have every right to literally tell him to go **** himself, seeing how that's more important to him than you anyway.
Reply 17
I think it's quite common how you're feeling. I have quite a few friends that feel the same way you do.

I'm the complete opposite however. It doesn't bother me probably because I masturbate too and so maybe I understand the thought process a bit more. For me, masturbation and sex are two completely separate things. I masturbate because it feels good. I masturbate often to help relieve stress and because it helps me get to sleep. I don't masturbate because I'm lacking anything from my relationship. My boyfriend satisfies me. It's really nothing to do with him.

As for should you be worried about him looking at other girls? Definitely not. I often use porn, including pictures, and when I'm looking at other people I'm not comparing them to my boyfriend. I use it as a visual aid and because I want to look at something attractive. It's inevitable that I'm going to find people other than my boyfriend attractive but I don't want to be with anyone else. I don't want to have sex with anyone else. I want him and only him. I don't ever think about the people I've seen in porn when I'm not there in the moment masturbating.
Original post by wildf0x
I think it's quite common how you're feeling. I have quite a few friends that feel the same way you do.

I'm the complete opposite however. It doesn't bother me probably because I masturbate too and so maybe I understand the thought process a bit more. For me, masturbation and sex are two completely separate things. I masturbate because it feels good. I masturbate often to help relieve stress and because it helps me get to sleep. I don't masturbate because I'm lacking anything from my relationship. My boyfriend satisfies me. It's really nothing to do with him.

As for should you be worried about him looking at other girls? Definitely not. I often use porn, including pictures, and when I'm looking at other people I'm not comparing them to my boyfriend. I use it as a visual aid and because I want to look at something attractive. It's inevitable that I'm going to find people other than my boyfriend attractive but I don't want to be with anyone else. I don't want to have sex with anyone else. I want him and only him. I don't ever think about the people I've seen in porn when I'm not there in the moment masturbating.



If you don't mind my asking are the people you think about when Masturbating and your boyfriend similar? With my boyfriend the other girls are all skinny and pretty and completely different to me. I don't understand how he can be attracted to them and me. It's made me feel really self conscious and I don't want him to see me naked or anything at the moment. And can I just say thank you for your comment it's been the most reassuring and helpful
I wouldn't feel 100% comfortable if my boyfriend did this, but you need to remember that it's all fantasy and normally it's the sexual acts that are a turn on rather than the actors/actresses themselves

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