Competition - post a photo you've taken of nature >>

Less chance of love at Cambridge

Scroll to see replies

Is the workload at Cambridge so high and competitive that there is little time for socialising and falling in love, and finding a partner? Or is this the same as any other university?

I can count the number of successful, long-term, monogamous couples I know at Cambridge on the fingers of one hand (and have fingers to spare). There's plenty of amity here, but it rarely seems to become serious. There's lots of time for socialising, too; the issue is one of energy. Few people seem to have the emotional stamina (and the added time on top of mere socialising) to see a relationship through.

:'(

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 41

Bunratty

Original post by Parliament

Damn! You have just tipped the scales a little bit back again.

Do you think that your circle of acquaintances is representative of Cambridge culture as a whole?

Reply 42

jamestg

I don't think the workload gets in the way. You can study together, be in each other's company etc etc...

The thing that I'm sure most people struggle with is the short terms, 8 weeks apart would feel like a long time - especially if it's difficult to meet up regularly.

Reply 43

Bunratty

Original post by jamestg

Good point. However, once things get going alternate home visits will help.

Reply 44

Doones

Original post by Bunratty

Damn! You have just tipped the scales a little bit back again.

Do you think that your circle of acquaintances is representative of Cambridge culture as a whole?

But how does that compare with other universities? I don't know... but here's an American study of the question: note Yale and Stanford in the Top 5. Not exactly undemanding universities...

http://uk.businessinsider.com/colleges-where-youll-meet-your-spouse-2015-5?op=1

Work hard, play hard...

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 45

Bunratty

Original post by jneill

WHPH is what I am all about! Thanks again.

Reply 46

Doones

Original post by Bunratty

WHPH is what I am all about! Thanks again.

It turns out TSR did a study!

http://tsrmatters.com/one-fifth-of-british-students-meet-the-love-of-their-life-on-campus/

"University of London students are the most likely to find true love on their course but it not work out (83%). But the universities where marriage is most on the cards are Cambridge and Chelmsford.’"

Reply 47

Bunratty

Yikes! Hold on, who said anything about marriage! Cambridge!

Maybe the other place would have been better - The top university city to find love 😄

Reply 48

username1865079

Original post by jneill

lol I know a boy at Cambridge who was dumped by his long-term girlfriend from their school days only one term after she started at a London university. He found out later she'd found someone else......

He managed to find a new girlfriend at Cambridge and they're still together. Luckily she chose a Scottish uni to continue her study in masters. :tongue:

Reply 49

threeportdrift

Careers Forum Helper

The Tab/TSR combo seems very statistically skewed in favour of love. Step up @Helenia and Drogue (UCL?) and @scarlet ibis and errrr I only know irl and won't 'out' him!

Reply 50

Doones

Original post by Bunratty

Yikes! Hold on, who said anything about marriage! Cambridge!

Maybe the other place would have been better - The top university city to find love 😄

LOL.

Reply 51

Craghyrax

OP generalisations like that are silly.
Cambridge can be better for forming close relationships, of either kind, because colleges are much more intimate. The impression I got from students at other Universities was that, after first year halls, people would only really be regularly connected to their housemates and those on their courses. If they wanted to meet more people they had to go out of their way by building a social life. In a college it's kind of hard to avoid one. You all eat in the same hall at least once a day. You live on site for the full three years. You share a lot of facilities like your gym and bar between a small population, which means that you very quickly recognise faces and get to know people. Even if you're shy. That can be a bad thing for some... some people feel insulated in their colleges. I didn't because I had shared supervisions with people from other colleges rather than having it all in-college, and I met loads of people from other subjects, years and colleges through the Cambridge chat thread here. But a lot of people love this. Bottom line... even if you're introverted and not even trying, you have an automatic ready-made community around you via your college.

Original post by Peterhouse Admissions

I met my wife while we were both undergraduates at Cambridge. Plenty of our friends did the same.

And I my husband (both Peterhouse alum :yep:

)

Reply 52

Craghyrax

Original post by threeportdrift

The Tab/TSR combo seems very statistically skewed in favour of love. Step up @Helenia and Drogue (UCL?) and @scarlet ibis and errrr I only know irl and won't 'out' him!

FadeToBlackout hasn't posted for many years, but he definitely wouldn't care about being 'outed'.

Also Drogue was Oxford before his postgrad affiliation...

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 53

threeportdrift

Careers Forum Helper

Original post by Craghyrax

FadeToBlackout hasn't posted for many years, but he definitely wouldn't care about being 'outed'.

Also Drogue was Oxford before his postgrad affiliation...

Ah yes, FtB! And apologies, I forgot that you met your husband at Peterhouse, if not actually on TSR as well!

Reply 54

Craghyrax

Original post by threeportdrift

Ah yes, FtB! And apologies, I forgot that you met your husband at Peterhouse, if not actually on TSR as well!

No worries. My hubby actually had a TSR account (TCovenant) and we worked out that we had exchanged some kind of innocuous factual discussion in the designated college thread before I went up, but we didn't really meet until I was there. And he barely used TSR.

Reply 55

Doones

Original post by Craghyrax

And I my husband (both Peterhouse alum :yep:

)

@Peterhouse Admissions - seems you are the college of lurve

:heart:

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 56

Bunratty

Original post by jneill

@Peterhouse Admissions - seems you are the college of lurve

:heart:

Hey! Are those Emma's ducks?

Reply 57

Helenia

Original post by threeportdrift

The Tab/TSR combo seems very statistically skewed in favour of love. Step up @Helenia and Drogue (UCL?) and @scarlet ibis and errrr I only know irl and won't 'out' him!

Drogue was an undergrad at Oxford when we met, though did go on to do a part-time MSc at Birkbeck/UCL. Prior to meeting him I had a long-term boyfriend at St John's (insert joke here).

Plus, anecdotally, a lot of my friends from Cambridge are now married to people they met there. And even those who aren't married mostly had some flings/relationships of sorts.

Reply 58

Tootles

Original post by Bunratty

What is your problem?

It is perfectly reasonable to expect that students in their late teens and early twenties would wish to form relationships with each other, as long as the time required for study didn't preclude so doing. That is a reasonable concern.

Of course.

But all these teenagers do is compain about how hard they find it to get laid. Face it. That's all your talking about. You want sex. Like every other uni student who complains about how hard "finding love" is at university. Like you kids would know love if it came up and gave you a degree.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 59

ckfeister

Original post by Tootles

I'm sorry, did they change the reason why you go to university while I wasn't looking?

If you want to socialize and fall in love, work at Morrison's and just go out every night. Cause, y'know, getting a degree might get in the way of that.