Would you go to a wedding if you had to pay for your own meal?
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Original post by Reality Check
But what's your actual view on marriage...
I would get married, but the woman would have to be one of those rare women who on the one hand balances being feminine and beautiful, with also being able to be the strong and smart woman behind me, almost my personal life coach. It's difficult to describe, but it does mirror my parent's marriage where my father is an aggressive hypermasculine barbarian and my mama somehow manages to force him to channel his personality in a positive way. Most women are only good for sex because most of them are either obnoxious and butch which disgusts me, or they're hot, but ditzy and simple minded, sort of like Marilyn Monroe and I'm unable to respect anything which comes out of their mouth unless it's my dick.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by l'etranger
I just do not want to watch some dumb schmuck get dragged up the isle by some lazy gold digging **** so she can get fat while he busts his ass at work supporting her vapid and pointless existence.
https://careers.hallmark.com/
To be honest, I don't think its right to make your guests pay for food. Besides, any wedding receptions I've been to are just buffets which surely can't be that expensive to set up, unless thats not the usual way 
Anyway, the day isnt about the food (unfortunately
) but the married couple so it really doesnt need to be posh and expensive which would require people to pay...
Obviously, drinks are fine but I would draw the line at paying for food
Anyway, the day isnt about the food (unfortunately) but the married couple so it really doesnt need to be posh and expensive which would require people to pay...Obviously, drinks are fine but I would draw the line at paying for food
Original post by IKEAPanda37
To be honest, I don't think its right to make your guests pay for food. Besides, any wedding receptions I've been to are just buffets which surely can't be that expensive to set up, unless thats not the usual way Anyway, the day isnt about the food (unfortunately) but the married couple so it really doesnt need to be posh and expensive which would require people to pay...
Obviously, drinks are fine but I would draw the line at paying for food
Anyway, the day isnt about the food (unfortunately) but the married couple so it really doesnt need to be posh and expensive which would require people to pay...Obviously, drinks are fine but I would draw the line at paying for food
Completely agree with you
I'm going for a buffet at a hotel since its cheaper
Only £4 a head instead of £50+ a head like a traditional wedding meal 
People can like it or lump it but I'm sure my guests would rather have a buffet than pay for their own fancy meal anyway 
Original post by l'etranger
Most women are only good for sex because most of them are either obnoxious and butch which disgusts me, or they're hot, but ditzy and simple minded, sort of like Marilyn Monroe and I'm unable to respect anyone which comes out of their mouth unless it's my dick.
Huh? It is an entity in itself?
Original post by cambio wechsel
- as chief Sentiment Writer for the 'Weddings and Anniversaries' department.Original post by Spock's Socks
Completely agree with you
I'm going for a buffet at a hotel since its cheaper Only £4 a head instead of £50+ a head like a traditional wedding meal People can like it or lump it but I'm sure my guests would rather have a buffet than pay for their own fancy meal anyway
I'm going for a buffet at a hotel since its cheaper
Only £4 a head instead of £50+ a head like a traditional wedding meal People can like it or lump it but I'm sure my guests would rather have a buffet than pay for their own fancy meal anyway Yeah, £50 per person just seems a lot
I would prefer buffets anyway, you can pick what you like, have as much or as little as you like and you can go up for seconds
(have to admit when the cakes come out, I literally take everything )Anyway, you and Callan (sp?) are more important
Original post by Spock's Socks
Completely agree with you
I'm going for a buffet at a hotel since its cheaper Only £4 a head instead of £50+ a head like a traditional wedding meal People can like it or lump it but I'm sure my guests would rather have a buffet than pay for their own fancy meal anyway
I'm going for a buffet at a hotel since its cheaper
Only £4 a head instead of £50+ a head like a traditional wedding meal People can like it or lump it but I'm sure my guests would rather have a buffet than pay for their own fancy meal anyway An anecdote of mine: I once went to an awfully fancy wedding. The bride and groom were both massive foodies, and the 'sit-down meal' was five courses and three wines. There was a delay with the kitchens and various other problems, which meant that we'd already been stood around for about 4 hours with small canapés and too much fizz before the food came out. Result - most of us wolfed it down to either soak up the alcohol or just because we were so bloody hungry. I don't think anyone was remotely interested in the quality of the meal or how elegantly and thoughtfully the menu had been constructed: it might as well have been a burger and chips. We all wanted to get the speeches out the way and start the bop, frankly. God knows how much money they wasted on it (or rather her father wasted on it). I'd have felt incandescently aggrieved had I to pay for it as well!
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Spock's Socks
So while I was booking my wedding recently, I came across a lot of wedding forums and one topic that caused a lot of debate and discussion was - Is it ever ok to ask for guests to pay for their own meals at the reception?
There were many opinions ranging from 'its always rude to ask guests to pay for their own meals' to 'I would only pay for my meal if I was a close family or friend who was strapped for cash' and then others saying they wouldn't mind paying at all.
So what do you guys think? Would you find it a bit rude to be asked by a bride and groom to pay for your own meal on the day? Would you go to a wedding if you had to pay?
If you wouldn't mind paying for you meal, would you still bring a wedding gift? If you did, would it be cheaper than what you would have originally brought since you would have to pay for your meal now?
I personally wouldn't ask for guests to pay for their meals. Weddings are expensive yes, but there's always ways to cut the price down but I wouldn't ask from anything from guests. I don't think its rude to ask guests to pay for drinks but for a meal, yes. Me and my partner were strapped for cash so instead of fancy traditional wedding meals, we are going for a big buffet at a hotel instead. None of us are really into posh food anyway it worked out a lot cheaper and the food is more down to Earth like us to save money again, we have paid for everyone to have a free drink on arrival but after that, its pay your own and all the guests seem fine with that and that seems a common thing.
I don't know if I would go as far to say I definitely wouldn't go to a wedding if I had to pay but if it were a close family or family member and I knew they were struggling with money, I wouldn't mind.
There were many opinions ranging from 'its always rude to ask guests to pay for their own meals' to 'I would only pay for my meal if I was a close family or friend who was strapped for cash' and then others saying they wouldn't mind paying at all.
So what do you guys think? Would you find it a bit rude to be asked by a bride and groom to pay for your own meal on the day? Would you go to a wedding if you had to pay?
If you wouldn't mind paying for you meal, would you still bring a wedding gift? If you did, would it be cheaper than what you would have originally brought since you would have to pay for your meal now?
I personally wouldn't ask for guests to pay for their meals. Weddings are expensive yes, but there's always ways to cut the price down but I wouldn't ask from anything from guests. I don't think its rude to ask guests to pay for drinks but for a meal, yes. Me and my partner were strapped for cash so instead of fancy traditional wedding meals, we are going for a big buffet at a hotel instead. None of us are really into posh food anyway
it worked out a lot cheaper and the food is more down to Earth like us to save money again, we have paid for everyone to have a free drink on arrival but after that, its pay your own and all the guests seem fine with that and that seems a common thing.I don't know if I would go as far to say I definitely wouldn't go to a wedding if I had to pay but if it were a close family or family member and I knew they were struggling with money, I wouldn't mind.
Well meal = set price.
Open bar = disaster and I wager would come to a LOT more than the meal.
To be honest, I have never even heard of having to pay for food at a wedding. If you want the big wedding, pay for it. If you don't have the money then I am sure your friends know, so just find ways of making it cheaper (e.g. just less people or cheap food).
Original post by l'etranger
No.
Weddings are the most boring self-indulgent, events known to humanity, I literally only go when dragged there for the free food. I just do not want to watch some dumb schmuck get dragged up the isle by some lazy gold digging **** so she can get fat while he busts his ass at work supporting her vapid and pointless existence.
Weddings are the most boring self-indulgent, events known to humanity, I literally only go when dragged there for the free food. I just do not want to watch some dumb schmuck get dragged up the isle by some lazy gold digging **** so she can get fat while he busts his ass at work supporting her vapid and pointless existence.
I only go to weddings for the food. I aint paying for your Biryani. Hell no.
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Original post by saraxh
If I had a son or daughter I would go to their wedding and be happy for them, but if I get married I'd only invite very close relatives, my household and people the girl wanted. I'd be annoyed if she wanted too many people, not because of the money, but because she's caring too much about that which does not matter.
Original post by l'etranger
If I had a son or daughter I would go to their wedding and be happy for them, but if I get married I'd only invite very close relatives, my household and people the girl wanted. I'd be annoyed if she wanted too many people, not because of the money, but because she's caring too much about that which does not matter.
Same
Original post by Nerry
No, what the heck is the point of that? The only reason why most people even force themselves to go along and endure someone's circus wedding is BECAUSE of the free food
Paying someone for the wedding THEY chose to have? Never heard of anything more pathetic. If you can't afford it - don't have it!
Paying someone for the wedding THEY chose to have? Never heard of anything more pathetic. If you can't afford it - don't have it!
You go to weddings for free food?
)Original post by Rhaenys10
You go to weddings for free food? )
)Attachment not found
Original post by Rhaenys10
You go to weddings for free food? )
)What else am I supposed to go for? I couldn't give a flying **** about whoever is getting married but if they want me there they better be supplying me with food and drink.
I'm not sure that I would pay, if it was a close friend or family member then I would have to but I would hope that it isn't overly expensive. Drinks I can understand paying for. I think that would still get a gift but a cheaper one if having to pay for the meal.
If it was partners friend or someone who wasn't my close friend or close family member invite to wedding asking to pay I would make excuses not to go.
I think that the buffet style meal is becoming more popular for a number of reasons. For me I think that asking people to pay for meal is slightly on the rude side because people might not be able to afford the meal so would be feeling left out if there and everyone else eating.
If it was partners friend or someone who wasn't my close friend or close family member invite to wedding asking to pay I would make excuses not to go.
I think that the buffet style meal is becoming more popular for a number of reasons. For me I think that asking people to pay for meal is slightly on the rude side because people might not be able to afford the meal so would be feeling left out if there and everyone else eating.
Definitely too rude, I don't want to ask my guests for anything - even gifts. Where do they put the gifts? Do they have to hold them for the whole ceremony then leave them at the reception? Then where do -you- put them all? How do you even get them home? We live in London, we can't afford more than one room and we don't have a car.
How do they even get from one venue to the other? I'm thinking I'll get a coach for everyone but I have no idea.
I've never been to a wedding, my closest friends have never been to one. My parents' wedding they had relatives with a house where the reception could be held and my grandmother cooked.
I plan to have the bar open up to a certain spend, or a certain number of drinks for each person and then if they want more they can buy. It's been a nightmare trying to find a venue that doesn't cost the Earth and can accommodate the people I want to bring. I wanted to pay for everything myself (partner earns less than me, family is quite poor), but I might have to let my parents contribute. Especially since due to ill health my hours have been cut recently (I'm not salaried - but I've managed to save quite an impressive amount). Definitely won't be getting into any debt, or asking guests. Maybe they'll give us cards with money in them, that would be nice. Many of them are much wealthier than us. I wouldn't ask for that either though. Might have to mention we don't want gifts?
Not offering quite a few people plus ones, thanks to one of your other threads! I didn't realise you could do that, I thought maybe you had to let everyone! A wedding half filled with strangers does sound bad though!
I don't know anything about weddings.
How do they even get from one venue to the other? I'm thinking I'll get a coach for everyone but I have no idea.
I've never been to a wedding, my closest friends have never been to one. My parents' wedding they had relatives with a house where the reception could be held and my grandmother cooked.
I plan to have the bar open up to a certain spend, or a certain number of drinks for each person and then if they want more they can buy. It's been a nightmare trying to find a venue that doesn't cost the Earth and can accommodate the people I want to bring. I wanted to pay for everything myself (partner earns less than me, family is quite poor), but I might have to let my parents contribute. Especially since due to ill health my hours have been cut recently (I'm not salaried - but I've managed to save quite an impressive amount). Definitely won't be getting into any debt, or asking guests. Maybe they'll give us cards with money in them, that would be nice. Many of them are much wealthier than us. I wouldn't ask for that either though. Might have to mention we don't want gifts?
Not offering quite a few people plus ones, thanks to one of your other threads! I didn't realise you could do that, I thought maybe you had to let everyone! A wedding half filled with strangers does sound bad though!
I don't know anything about weddings.
Original post by Spock's Socks
Would any of you ever consider this kind of approach for your own wedding? Or would you find it too rude to ask your guests?
I probably wouldn't go. If I couldn't afford to pay for my guests food then I'd have a smaller wedding or save for a little bit longer. A family member of mine asked us to bring food for an occasion and honestly I was so shocked by this. I understand these functions are expensive and all, but I've never heard anything like it. I still went because I had to attend. I was even more pissed off to find that the person holding the event has a lot of money - he's just really stingy. On top of this his daughter was making out that we were being impatient and went as far as asking the dj to tell us to wait. We were just forming a queue so we could have some of OUR food. It was ridiculous. Imagine some us hadn't eaten since 8am and we are waiting around at 4pm for food. Never again.
I attended my brothers wedding and it was in the country. For some reason I assumed the drinks were paid for since I hadn't been informed about anything. It turned out you had to pay for drinks and my purse we at the hotel (plus I was broke anyway). Let's just say my mouth was dry for the majority of the evening. One of my cousins had 1/2 open bar, you could get all the drinks no one really liked for free and the rest you had to pay for which is better than nothing. All the weddings I've been too have provided the food even the really small ones - I think this is the way it should be in my opinion.
(edited 7 years ago)
I think it would depend on the couple/the wedding. If the couple were skint, having a registry office/simple church wedding and then wanted everyone to get together at a pub/ordinary restaurant afterwards, I could understand that. I also wouldn't have a problem with bringing a dish for a buffet, if logistics worked well. But having the standard 3 course meal-in-a-hotel that most weddings have, with no choices, and paying for the privilege? No thanks.
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