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How to make my mum understand I'm too ill to travel to see her

My mum lives and is from abroad and comes to visit occasionally but lately it's becoming depressing to talk to her. She wants me to go over to her and see my family but I'm too ill, I haven't traveled in years. On the phone the other day she said she missed me, I said she should come over then, she said no you should come over it's easier for you... But it isn't. :facepalm: She thinks I don't care about my family though I do. How do I make her understand?

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Original post by sherlockfan
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Send her a copy of a letter from your GP outlining your condition and the effects it has on you?
Original post by Glassapple
Send her a copy of a letter from your GP outlining your condition and the effects it has on you?


My GP is equally ignorant about my anxiety condition. i doubt they would be of any use.
Original post by sherlockfan
My GP is equally ignorant about my anxiety condition. i doubt they would be of any use.


Well you must be seeing somebody about it, if not your GP? Ask them to write the letter.
Original post by Glassapple
Well you must be seeing somebody about it, if not your GP? Ask them to write the letter.


This is not like getting a sick note for my teacher to excuse myself from PE because I've got a broken leg. My illness is much less visible and what's more my therapist and my GP both don't see why I shouldn't be able to travel, it's just a matter of willpower to them.
Original post by sherlockfan
This is not like getting a sick note for my teacher to excuse myself from PE because I've got a broken leg. My illness is much less visible and what's more my therapist and my GP both don't see why I shouldn't be able to travel, it's just a matter of willpower to them.


If two medical professionals have told you that, then I'm sorry but who are you to argue? You can book the ticket online and speak to virtually nobody while travelling. The more you tell yourself you can't do something, the more settled into the pseudo illness mindset you become and you are less likely to do anything to help yourself.

Self-diagnosed illness does not exist when it's been professionally judged otherwise, it really is just a matter of willpower.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 7
Avatar for Dafock
Dafock
15
Nothing should should stop you seeing your mum. unless you physically cant move. You probably just don't want to go not that you cant.

I would put on a brave face if it makes your mum happy, you can cry abut your life after it
Original post by Glassapple
If two medical professionals have told you that, then I'm sorry but who are you to argue? You can book the ticket online and speak to virtually nobody while travelling. The more you tell yourself you can't do something, the more settled into the pseudo illness mindset you become and you are less likely to do anything to help yourself.

Self-diagnosed illness does not exist when it's been professionally judged otherwise, it really is just a matter of willpower. You have not had years of professional training and you have not seen thousands of patients with the same thing. You feel anxious and bad inside so you want to justify it as being ill; you're not, go and see your mother who misses you and wants to spend time with you.


Original post by Dafock
Nothing should should stop you seeing your mum. unless you physically cant move. You probably just don't want to go not that you cant.

I would put on a brave face if it makes your mum happy, you can cry abut your life after it


either you have misunderstood or you are both blatantly ignorant of the extent to which severe anxiety can cripple you and diminish your ability to do anything.
I have been officially diagnosed with anxiety it's just that they don't actually see it as an impediment to my travelling as I don't have a physical disability. However I know myself better than anyone else and for the moment it's not going to be possible. This is not some 'pseudo' illness I've created, I don't even know how you dare say that. What's more the absence of an illness doesn't mean that I'm physically healthy, I feel very ill on most days.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by sherlockfan
either you have misunderstood or you are both blatantly ignorant of the extent to which severe anxiety can cripple you and diminish your ability to do anything.
I have been officially diagnosed with anxiety it's just that they don't actually see it as an impediment to my travelling as I don't have a physical disability. However I know myself better than anyone else and for the moment it's not going to be possible. This is not some 'pseudo' illness I've created, I don't even know how you dare say that.


Then ask your GP or therapist for a letter. They don't mention the extent of your condition, just that you were diagnosed with it on whatever date, are taking whatever medications and have been compliant with therapy attendance. If you ask them to do that then it's youur right as a patient to have that fulfilled, like when people submit mitigating circumstances to their universities. The letter doesn't detail how you feel or what their personal opinion is, just clinical things and facts from your health records, with their signature and title on it, on printed, headed paper from the surgery/office.
Reply 10
Avatar for Dafock
Dafock
15
Original post by sherlockfan
either you have misunderstood or you are both blatantly ignorant of the extent to which severe anxiety can cripple you and diminish your ability to do anything.
I have been officially diagnosed with anxiety it's just that they don't actually see it as an impediment to my travelling as I don't have a physical disability. However I know myself better than anyone else and for the moment it's not going to be possible. This is not some 'pseudo' illness I've created, I don't even know how you dare say that. What's more the absence of an illness doesn't mean that I'm physically healthy, I feel very ill on most days.


I'm just saying \i would do it for my mum, didn't say you would
Original post by Dafock
I'm just saying \i would do it for my mum, didn't say you would


yeah well you're not living in my shoes are you, if you suffered like I do you wouldn't be able to travel abroad either.
Original post by Glassapple
Then ask your GP or therapist for a letter. They don't mention the nt of your condition, just that you were diagnosed with it on whatever date, are taking whatever medications and have been compliant with therapy attendance. If you ask them to do that then it's youur right as a patient to have that fulfilled, like when people submit mitigating circumstances to their universities. The letter doesn't detail how you feel or what their personal opinion is, just clinical things and facts from your health records, with their signature and title on it, on printed, headed paper from the surgery/office.


:facepalm:
Is this really what you would do in my situation? Hand your mother a sick note like she was a university faculty?
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 13
Avatar for Dafock
Dafock
15
Original post by sherlockfan
yeah well you're not living in my shoes are you, if you suffered like I do you wouldn't be able to travel abroad either.


I doubt that. That's just what you want to think. Anyway get better soon
Original post by Dafock
I doubt that. That's just what you want to think. Anyway get better soon


You really have no idea.
Thanks for nothing.
Original post by sherlockfan
:facepalm:


They're written to 'whom it may concern', not a specific person. If you ask for it, it costs £10-20 and takes 3-5 days to get done, like this: http://www.justanswer.co.uk/medical/84a8s-interpretation-gp-letter-concerning-fitness-work.html
http://mancunion.com/2014/02/10/gps-charge-students-for-mitigating-circumstances-letters/
http://www2.hull.ac.uk/student/docs/SAS%20-%20GP%20v2%20March%202013.docx
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Glassapple
They're written to 'whom it may concern', not a specific person. If you ask for it, it costs £10-20 and takes 3-5 days to get done, like this: http://www.justanswer.co.uk/medical/84a8s-interpretation-gp-letter-concerning-fitness-work.html
http://mancunion.com/2014/02/10/gps-charge-students-for-mitigating-circumstances-letters/


See edited post.
Original post by sherlockfan
See edited post.


Well you want her to understand your illness, what better way than a signed letter from a medical professional outlining your illness? Obviously don't just send it to her, explain what it is and how it's making you feel, and say you have proof, which you would. How else are you going to tell her about your illness when you won't show her something that proves it?
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Glassapple
Well you want her to understand your illness, what better way than a signed letter from a medical professional outlining your illness? Obviously don't just send it to her, explain what it is and how it's making you feel, and say you have proof, which you would. How else are you going to tell her about your illness when you won't show her something that proves it?

Haven't I already said, they think I'm fine to travel abroad.
Never mind.
Original post by sherlockfan
Haven't I already said, they think I'm fine to travel abroad.
Never mind.


As I've said, they don't include that information. They say that you're a patient, you've been diagnosed with whatever since whenever, are on whatever medication and you're compliant with therapy, then sign and date it on headed paper. They don't mention whether they think you're fit to travel abroad, it wouldn't even cross their minds. It's not like you're going to say to them you want it to prove to your mother you can't travel abroad, you say you want a general letter outlining your condition.

They don't include their opinions like they might think you're fine to travel or you're making it all up or whatever else you think they might say. I've had two of these letters done for me, all they say is facts from your medical records, not personal opinions or judgements from who's writing it.
(edited 7 years ago)

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