Do any other guys have trouble on Tinder or POF?

My mate suggested I set up accounts on Tinder and POF just to see if I could get any dates out of them so I did but I was not getting any replies on matches or messages I sent. My mates girlfriend looked at my profile and said it looked it and she doesn't know why I haven't had any replies. I know girls don't like the usual "hi" messages so if I see a girl I like I look at their profile and then try and start a conversation that way but it get's me nowhere.

Have any other guys had this problem or know how to overcome it?

Reply 1

Martyna23

I think it depends on girls you're messaging, some of them are only there to boost their ego with how many matches they can get. You just need to be patient and keep trying, Tinder actually works sometimes. I was in a relationship for a few months with a guy that I've met on Tinder.

Reply 2

ANM775

Original post by Anonymous

have a good look at your pics, an HONEST look. Do it right now.

done that?

now have a look at this chart.
As a male which category do you fit into?This is your expected message return rate

https://s30.postimg.org/dpdq4zm2p/attractiveness_g2.jpg

Reply 3

Asolare

Wait do people still use POF? I thought that died out ages ago.

Reply 4

kenni12

Original post by Anonymous

Same problem, you should check one of the threads I started

Reply 5

The Good Doctor

You will have a low success rate with messaging girls on Tinder unless you are extremely attractive, aesthetically. As for POF, I don't know, but it should suffer from the same problem, that is: Much higher number of guys use it than girls. Coupled with the fact that guys are generally less choosey than girls, which means that girls who are even just somewhat attractive get quite a few messages each day. If you are an attractive or very attractive girl, you will match with practically everyone you 'like' and get A LOT of guys messaging you each day. So you really have to make a significant and lasting impression on them to stay interested in you. There is a lot of competition. Also, a good proportion of girls on there have no intention of meeting anyone and just use it to boost their ego whereas I think far fewer guys do this.

I used Tinder a few years ago for about 3 weeks and I matched with probably between 1 in 10 and 1 in 20 girls who I "liked" (excluding prostitutes/escorts). Though I consider myself a reasonably attractive and interesting guy. Over half of them didn't reply to my message. Most of the rest stopped messaging after a relatively short time. I had some good conversation and managed to arrange meetings with like 3, though two of them flaked. In total, after hundreds of effective "rejections", I only managed to meet with one though we had some regular fun for a couple of months before my current girlfriend and I got together. The number of girls I "liked" was definitely of the order of several hundred.

So, the high rejection rate can be soul-crushing for some guys who don't have high self esteem, when it needn't be! You have to remember that the selection criteria on these dating apps are very shallow and it is also very difficult to compete with the 20+ other guys an attractive girl will probably match with in a day. You'd probably have a much higher success rate with just asking out friends or work colleagues that you fancy, or perhaps just going to a club and talking and dancing with girls there. I definitely haven't had such a low success rate as 1 in several hundred under those circumstances!

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 6

Chicken.M.

I get a lot of matches but most of them are ugly or boring :redface:

Never met anyone off tinder.

I do better in real life.

Reply 7

Ella-keturah

Original post by ChickenMadness

I get a lot of matches but most of them are ugly or boring :redface:

Never met anyone off tinder.

I do better in real life.

Why did you match with them if you found them ugly lol?

Reply 8

Chicken.M.

Original post by Ella-keturah

Why did you match with them if you found them ugly lol?

Guys get less matches than girls. I just swipe right on everyone and see if I like any of the matches afterwards because it's faster.

Reply 9

Ella-keturah

Original post by ChickenMadness

Guys get less matches than girls. I just swipe right on everyone and see if I like any of the matches afterwards because it's faster.

Ah fair enough.

Reply 10

ANM775

Original post by ChickenMadness

Guys get less matches than girls. I just swipe right on everyone and see if I like any of the matches afterwards because it's faster.

I disaprove of this tactic.

It just raises women's ego's and opinions of self worth higher and higher due to the insane amount of matches they get and ultimately leads to them being choosier

This is the reason why Tinder introduced the daily swipe limit, too many men were just mass swiping anything with a pulse that was female and using bots to swipe like 2000 girls a day...etc

Reply 11

Chicken.M.

Original post by ANM775

lol I don't make a difference in the grand scheme of things. Rather take 1 minute to swipe and get on with my day. I hardly put any effort into tinder anyway since most of the girls are boring.

Reply 12

Bang Outta Order

I'd kill myself if I joined them things to get a girl. Feel low enough logging into tsr.

Reply 13

ThatOldGuy

There's an easier way than Tinder to get a girl.

Talk to a girl.

Reply 14

DanB1991

Tbh most the time if they don't show interest talking to you, nothing you can say will change that.

Like i've spoken to some girls who I've matched with and the most you get will be a short sentence at best.... but then they keep replying... for quite a while sometimes.

I don't think some people realise how hard it is to have such a one sided conversation, but then I'm also surprised how many girls expect the guy to know how to do it :lol:

Also I go through periods of hardly having any matches for a couple of months, to about 10 in a day or two. Okay my hair loss has made it drastically lower than a couple of years ago but I also think people are getting tired of tinder etc.