Am I being pathetic for feeling upset over this or not?

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Chicken.M.

Some of you seem spoilt as hell.

I don't even celebrate my birthday :laugh:

I think the age of the kid probably has a lot to do with this. I mean it means more when you're younger to get something like that. Talk to him, lack of communication is a problem for us all at some point on some level. There are no end of people out there who want to be your friend, when the time is right good karma will bring them to you. :smile:

Exactly. It's like getting a kid a present from the tooth fairy. It's magical for them.

When you're an adult who cares about your birthday? It's just another day.

What if your boyfriend bought you flowers and took you out on a random day. But then a week later it was your birthday and they didn't do anything. Now he's suddenly evil? :rofl:

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 21

Anonymous #1

Original post by ChickenMadness

Some of you seem spoilt as hell.

I don't even celebrate my birthday :laugh:

Just curious, by not celebrating your birthday do you mean you and your family just treat it as any other day is no cards etc (as in birthdays are just not recognised in your culture) or do you mean you don't go out/party etc? I dont go out/party mainly because I don't know enough people to go with but yea some people just ignore birthdays I suppose can't blame them

Reply 22

username155270

Original post by ChickenMadness

Don't see why girls make such a big deal over cards all the time. They're just pieces of paper. You can't do anything with them.

It's the thought and making someone you care about feel special.

Reply 23

Chicken.M.

Original post by Anonymous

My parents ask me if I want anything or want to do anything for my birthday but I usually cba, or theres nothing I want. I usually just ask for socks. Would never ask for a card because they're pretty pointless. :confused:

I keep things like notes that my parents have written me, that makes me feel more special.

Original post by xobeauty

It's the thought and making someone you care about feel special.

you can do that on any day doesn't have to be your birthday. People who want shitloads of stuff on their birthday or valentines day usually don't appreciate their partner. They're just thinking about presents instead of everything else that they do together.

It's like everything you do for the person is suddenly worthless because you didn't get them stuff on a certain day.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 24

Sabby888

As someone before me said, it really does depend on the usual dynamics of your relationship. If this is how he usually is like, not with other people but with YOU, then it may be something he doesn't consider to be that important in the sense that his care for you isn't portrayed in gifts.

But tbh you have every right to be upset. If I were you, I'd perhaps bring it up with him and ask. Men are sort of straightforward creatures you really have to spell it out for them.

And about the not having friends part, haha, trust me I'm in one of those phases now and although embarrassing, it's actually nothing to be ashamed of. I suppose every now and then there's just no one I generally click with and prefer to be alone and wait for the next batch of awesome people to come my way. :h:

Go out, have fun, take each opportunity to get to know someone as a potential friendship. It really should be a natural process, expose yourself to opportunities but don't force it.

Reply 25

robbo3045

Original post by Anonymous

Im in my twenties and have been with my older boyfriend for 2 years and the relationship has been rocky but I've always got him a card and something for his birthday and last time I took him out. For my birthday however he didn't get me a card just acknowledged it with a happy birthday text. I was a bit dissapointed but was fine with it as I thought well some people just don't rate birthdays much plus we were going through a bad phase. Today though I found out something which made me a bit upset but I don't know why, it's not that I'm jelous I don't think.

Basically I found out that he has bought something for the birthday of a 14 year old lad he coaches in sport. He does spend a lot of time coaching him and the lads mum sometimes makes him meals etc. He bought the lad a usain bolt dvd (as he runs this is what he coaches him in) and has made him like a scrap book, a notebook but the front cover consists of photos of the lad performing in sport/his achievements etc. It's very good ha but I still felt upset that he went through this effort for him but I got nothing. I've not said anything to him I've just told him that the scrap book is really good but am I being a bit pathetic for feeling upset?

I suppose it doesn't help that I've no friends and so only got one card off my parents it sort of rubbed it in how alone I really am compared to others my age who are having parties and a fuss made of them etc. It's always been the same with me though I've always been very introverted so it's my fault but yea. Just wanted advice/opinions although there's nothing I can do about it lol.

Does he make you feel special in other ways? If not, do you think you deserve to be treated so basically for the rest of your life? Time to move on.

Oh and if you're with him next year, maybe a text will be sufficient for his birthday.

Reply 26

Somewhitegirl

I don't think you're being pathetic at all, I'd be really upset myself. Definitely bring it up in conversation and if his attitude continues the same way, i.e. he needs to get his priorities straight, then consider whether this is a healthy relationship.

Reply 27

Mdaza

Original post by ChickenMadness

Don't see why girls make such a big deal over cards all the time. They're just pieces of paper. You can't do anything with them.

Not all girls jajaj, in my case i dont care, i always lose them anyway 😫 Jajaja

Reply 28

tyler holden

Original post by emerald7770

I honestly thought you were going to say that you thought they were both having an intimate relationship or something like that. Was to about sayyyyyyyyyyyy. Anyway, i would be really bloody jealous and upset. He's a jerk ( as americans say)

im agree with this completely.

Reply 29

Anonymous #1

Ok so just an update, im still with the man and its his birthday on saturday. I really really want to get something for him or take him for a meal or something but my brain tells me to just send him a text like he sent me.

What do I do?

Reply 30

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

Send him a text. He's not worth that much effort and/or money. Unless he spontaneously buys you gifts or cards to compensate for the lack of them on your birthday then this relationship seems very one-sided. I say send him a text and if he's confused just openly talk to him about it. Good luck.

Reply 31

Bob Ferris

Original post by Anonymous

Have you spoke to him about how you feel???

Reply 32

Hailey.M.Gazella

No, I think that it is totally fine to feel the way you do. Just talk to him about it, and if you don't feel comfortable doing it then maybe try to talk to other people too make friends. I don't have any friends (or a boyfriend or girlfriend) like everyone else. Yeah, I don't know how to talk to people but it never hurts to try. :smile:

...Anyways, maybe for his birthday do what he does. Just send him a text or whatever don't go out of your way for him if he isn't going to do the same for you.

Reply 33

Anonymous #1

Original post by Bob Ferris

Have you spoke to him about how you feel???

No, it was hard because i shouldnt be expecting stuff for my birthday anyway so i couldnt bring myself to talk about it.

Didn't read.

If he expects more than a text from you on his birthday then he will probably bring it up and you can talk about it. If not, he's probably just quite oblivious and doesn't realise that it could be a problem (him not getting you anything).

Reply 36

Mair18919

It's really quite bad that he went to more trouble for this lad he coaches and potentially creepy.

Does he not realise how easily a man coaching a child can be accused of inappropriate behaviour?