My Roller Coaster Ride to Excellence
Life is a roller coaster ride.
I have known this for years. Whenever everything starts to calm down, something comes up and shakes things up even more than before.
The worst part is that you can never guess what life will throw at you. You can try, but life is far too unpredictable and complex for it to be foreseen completely.
Yet, I cannot accept defeat at the hands of the unpredictability of life.
Life may be a roller coaster ride, but that cannot stop me from wearing safety equipment while on it.
Welcome to My Roller Coaster Ride to Excellence!
In this thread, I pass through my journey to get the baccalaureate grade I wish for. Put on your safety equipment, get on the roller coaster, and come along for the ride! 
Now that you know the basis of the thread, let's get on with the information, shall we?
GCSEs:
Spoiler
AS-levels:
Spoiler
Currently studying:
Spoiler
University choice:
Spoiler
Relevant extracurricular activities:
Spoiler
About me:
Spoiler
Academic and personal background and situation:
Spoiler
Goals:
Spoiler
Current situation (updated monthly):
Spoiler
Week 1 To-Do List:
Spoiler
To sum up:
This is the journey of a troubled, but smart girl to greatness, her attempt to improve her life, fulfil her dreams, and take her destiny into her own hands. I am a dreamer, but a dreamer who makes things happen.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Michiyo
Life is a roller coaster ride.
I have known this for years. Whenever everything starts to calm down, something comes up and shakes things up even more than before.
The worst part is that you can never guess what life will throw at you. You can try, but life is far too unpredictable and complex for it to be foreseen completely.
Yet, I cannot accept defeat at the hands of the unpredictability of life.
Life may be a roller coaster ride, but that cannot stop me from wearing safety equipment while on it.
Welcome to Michiyo’s Roller Coaster Ride to Excellence! In this thread, I pass through my journey to get the baccalaureate grade I wish for. Put on your safety equipment, get on the roller coaster, and come along for the ride!
GCSEs:
AS-levels:
Currently studying:
University choice:
Relevant extracurricular activities:
About me:
Academic and personal background and situation:
Goals:
Current situation (updated monthly):
Week 1 To-Do List:
To sum up:
This is the journey of a troubled, but smart girl to greatness, her attempt to improve her life, fulfil her dreams, and take her destiny into her own hands. I am a dreamer, but a dreamer who makes things happen.
Life is a roller coaster ride.
I have known this for years. Whenever everything starts to calm down, something comes up and shakes things up even more than before.
The worst part is that you can never guess what life will throw at you. You can try, but life is far too unpredictable and complex for it to be foreseen completely.
Yet, I cannot accept defeat at the hands of the unpredictability of life.
Life may be a roller coaster ride, but that cannot stop me from wearing safety equipment while on it.
Welcome to Michiyo’s Roller Coaster Ride to Excellence!
In this thread, I pass through my journey to get the baccalaureate grade I wish for. Put on your safety equipment, get on the roller coaster, and come along for the ride! GCSEs:
Spoiler
AS-levels:
Spoiler
Currently studying:
Spoiler
University choice:
Spoiler
Relevant extracurricular activities:
Spoiler
About me:
Spoiler
Academic and personal background and situation:
Spoiler
Goals:
Spoiler
Current situation (updated monthly):
Spoiler
Week 1 To-Do List:
Spoiler
To sum up:
This is the journey of a troubled, but smart girl to greatness, her attempt to improve her life, fulfil her dreams, and take her destiny into her own hands. I am a dreamer, but a dreamer who makes things happen.
Subbing
Good Luck 
You can do it!!!And btw you did MUN? didn't know that
Original post by wolfmoon88
Subbing Good Luck You can do it!!!
And btw you did MUN? didn't know that
Good Luck You can do it!!!And btw you did MUN? didn't know that
Aww, you are too kind
Thank you Do your best too! 
Yep, I did
If anyone has questions about the MUN or anything I did (whether it be getting A in psychology or how to get work experience with an MP), I will answer them in this thread so as to keep the conversation going until my next weekly update on Monday. Original post by Michiyo
Aww, you are too kind Thank you Do your best too!
Yep, I did If anyone has questions about the MUN or anything I did (whether it be getting A in psychology or how to get work experience with an MP), I will answer them in this thread so as to keep the conversation going until my next weekly update on Monday.
Thank you Do your best too! Yep, I did
If anyone has questions about the MUN or anything I did (whether it be getting A in psychology or how to get work experience with an MP), I will answer them in this thread so as to keep the conversation going until my next weekly update on Monday. I am making a GYG thread right now
Omg what committee and what country did you represent?
Original post by wolfmoon88
I am making a GYG thread right now
Omg what committee and what country did you represent?
Omg what committee and what country did you represent?
I will be following yours too!
I did not represent a committee. I just represented a country. Said country was... *drum roll*
Spoiler
To be honest, I did not do very well. I barely spoke, stuttered when I did, and participated in no meaningful debate. I was very anxious, so yeah.
It was definitely worth it, though, as I learnt more about how the UN debates and how to be coherent and confident in a debate, as well as how everything is actually decided (by alliances made during the buffet, in which every country seeks to have their opinion taken into account and a big power like the USA or Russia drafts and presents it so their proposal wins).We debated something about the environment, which I was not too keen on. I would rather have debated the refugee crisis, but the environmental topic won by fair vote.
Original post by Michiyo
I will be following yours too!
I did not represent a committee. I just represented a country. Said country was... *drum roll*
To be honest, I did not do very well. I barely spoke, stuttered when I did, and participated in no meaningful debate. I was very anxious, so yeah. It was definitely worth it, though, as I learnt more about how the UN debates and how to be coherent and confident in a debate, as well as how everything is actually decided (by alliances made during the buffet, in which every country seeks to have their opinion taken into account and a big power like the USA or Russia drafts and presents it so their proposal wins).
We debated something about the environment, which I was not too keen on. I would rather have debated the refugee crisis, but the environmental topic won by fair vote.
I did not represent a committee. I just represented a country. Said country was... *drum roll*
Spoiler
To be honest, I did not do very well. I barely spoke, stuttered when I did, and participated in no meaningful debate. I was very anxious, so yeah.
It was definitely worth it, though, as I learnt more about how the UN debates and how to be coherent and confident in a debate, as well as how everything is actually decided (by alliances made during the buffet, in which every country seeks to have their opinion taken into account and a big power like the USA or Russia drafts and presents it so their proposal wins).We debated something about the environment, which I was not too keen on. I would rather have debated the refugee crisis, but the environmental topic won by fair vote.
Thank you
When you draft a proposal as a small country and it wins the vote
It's ok
next time you participate in such a conference you would be better and participate more in my first conference I made Michael Jackson references in every single one of my speeches and POIs, the chairs got really mad In my most recent conference, I represented Tanzania. Went into the conference and got a lot of the delegates to agree with my draft and we proceeded to draft a resolution in which the delegate of Romania and I wrote most of it
Then he said he wanted to main submit :/ so I was like sure thing! if you reformat everything so I can socialise and meet new people xD and he did so I let him main submit although other members in the block wanted me to main submit hahahaMy topic was about sustainable development and the environment as well
I made a Trump speech and destroyed another person's draft it was fun Original post by wolfmoon88
Thank you
When you draft a proposal as a small country and it wins the vote
It's ok next time you participate in such a conference you would be better and participate more in my first conference I made Michael Jackson references in every single one of my speeches and POIs, the chairs got really mad
In my most recent conference, I represented Tanzania. Went into the conference and got a lot of the delegates to agree with my draft and we proceeded to draft a resolution in which the delegate of Romania and I wrote most of it Then he said he wanted to main submit :/ so I was like sure thing! if you reformat everything so I can socialise and meet new people xD and he did so I let him main submit although other members in the block wanted me to main submit hahaha
My topic was about sustainable development and the environment as well I made a Trump speech and destroyed another person's draft it was fun
When you draft a proposal as a small country and it wins the vote
It's ok
next time you participate in such a conference you would be better and participate more in my first conference I made Michael Jackson references in every single one of my speeches and POIs, the chairs got really mad In my most recent conference, I represented Tanzania. Went into the conference and got a lot of the delegates to agree with my draft and we proceeded to draft a resolution in which the delegate of Romania and I wrote most of it
Then he said he wanted to main submit :/ so I was like sure thing! if you reformat everything so I can socialise and meet new people xD and he did so I let him main submit although other members in the block wanted me to main submit hahahaMy topic was about sustainable development and the environment as well
I made a Trump speech and destroyed another person's draft it was fun You are welcome
Oh my God, you must have been the most active debater
Indeed
...Well, at least I kept my mouth shut almost the entire time. I have to admit that is hilarious, though.
Tanzania and Romania: the new OTP and future Gods of the New World
Out of curiosity, was the delegate of Romania Romanian?
Sigh, why do MUN people keep on choosing environmental debates? Pick an interesting one like the refugees!
What do you mean by a Trump speech?
My holiest God, that person probably ended up hating you
I am glad you had fun
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Michiyo
You are welcome
Oh my God, you must have been the most active debater
Indeed
...Well, at least I kept my mouth shut almost the entire time. I have to admit that is hilarious, though.
Tanzania and Romania: the new OTP and future Gods of the New World
Out of curiosity, was the delegate of Romania Romanian?
Sigh, why do MUN people keep on choosing environmental debates? Pick an interesting one like the refugees!
What do you mean by a Trump speech?
My holiest God, that person probably ended up hating you
I am glad you had fun
Oh my God, you must have been the most active debater
Indeed
...Well, at least I kept my mouth shut almost the entire time. I have to admit that is hilarious, though.
Tanzania and Romania: the new OTP and future Gods of the New World
Out of curiosity, was the delegate of Romania Romanian?
Sigh, why do MUN people keep on choosing environmental debates? Pick an interesting one like the refugees!
What do you mean by a Trump speech?
My holiest God, that person probably ended up hating you
I am glad you had fun
Nah there were other people who were pretty active as well. When I am at MUN conferences, I don't aim to be the best debater etc... I aim to make everyone laugh because a 3-4 day conference is just boring if everyone is so serious :/
Hahaha
nah I think the only person who got his/her own country was the delegate of one of the Mediterranean countries :/ forgot which one though I chose to be in the committee which talked about environmental topics
could have chosen to do human rights if I wanted to but decided against it!Honestly, I was going to support his resolution but then he decided not to let me present an amendment about uniting North and South Korea although the chairs allowed it because debate was getting boring so I exchanged the rest of my speaking time just to make this speech
Topic is sustainable tourism:
Excerpt from speech
"Tanzania has the best national parks in the world! It is huge! The wall around the national park is built with the best Tanzanian concrete and steel! We will win and make the tourism industry great again!"
And I basically used this speech to say that the resolution would kill the world's tourism industry or something
Meh the co-submitter of the resolution came up to me after the draft didn't pass and said that "you are an ahole, you know that" lol and I just smiled cuz I didn't know what to say :/ Most people enjoyed it, even the people in his bloc enjoyed it lol
Yeah it was pretty fun
Original post by wolfmoon88
Nah there were other people who were pretty active as well. When I am at MUN conferences, I don't aim to be the best debater etc... I aim to make everyone laugh because a 3-4 day conference is just boring if everyone is so serious :/
Hahaha nah I think the only person who got his/her own country was the delegate of one of the Mediterranean countries :/ forgot which one though
I chose to be in the committee which talked about environmental topics could have chosen to do human rights if I wanted to but decided against it!
Honestly, I was going to support his resolution but then he decided not to let me present an amendment about uniting North and South Korea although the chairs allowed it because debate was getting boring so I exchanged the rest of my speaking time just to make this speech
Topic is sustainable tourism:
Excerpt from speech
"Tanzania has the best national parks in the world! It is huge! The wall around the national park is built with the best Tanzanian concrete and steel! We will win and make the tourism industry great again!"
And I basically used this speech to say that the resolution would kill the world's tourism industry or something
Meh the co-submitter of the resolution came up to me after the draft didn't pass and said that "you are an ahole, you know that" lol and I just smiled cuz I didn't know what to say :/ Most people enjoyed it, even the people in his bloc enjoyed it lol
Yeah it was pretty fun
Nah there were other people who were pretty active as well. When I am at MUN conferences, I don't aim to be the best debater etc... I aim to make everyone laugh because a 3-4 day conference is just boring if everyone is so serious :/
Hahaha
nah I think the only person who got his/her own country was the delegate of one of the Mediterranean countries :/ forgot which one though I chose to be in the committee which talked about environmental topics
could have chosen to do human rights if I wanted to but decided against it!Honestly, I was going to support his resolution but then he decided not to let me present an amendment about uniting North and South Korea although the chairs allowed it because debate was getting boring so I exchanged the rest of my speaking time just to make this speech
Topic is sustainable tourism:
Excerpt from speech
"Tanzania has the best national parks in the world! It is huge! The wall around the national park is built with the best Tanzanian concrete and steel! We will win and make the tourism industry great again!"
And I basically used this speech to say that the resolution would kill the world's tourism industry or something
Meh the co-submitter of the resolution came up to me after the draft didn't pass and said that "you are an ahole, you know that" lol and I just smiled cuz I didn't know what to say :/ Most people enjoyed it, even the people in his bloc enjoyed it lol
Yeah it was pretty fun
I think MUN is awesome! I never found it boring
We had three options to choose from and my fellow delegates decided on the environmental one.
This girl and I both chose our own countries (Romania and Nigeria), but that was about it.
Well, the environment is more relevant to your course than human rights, while in my case, the opposite is true...
Hahaha XD I agree that was not the most appropriate thing to do in a conference, but still.
Original post by Michiyo
I think MUN is awesome! I never found it boring
We had three options to choose from and my fellow delegates decided on the environmental one.
This girl and I both chose our own countries (Romania and Nigeria), but that was about it.
Well, the environment is more relevant to your course than human rights, while in my case, the opposite is true...
Hahaha XD I agree that was not the most appropriate thing to do in a conference, but still.
We had three options to choose from and my fellow delegates decided on the environmental one.
This girl and I both chose our own countries (Romania and Nigeria), but that was about it.
Well, the environment is more relevant to your course than human rights, while in my case, the opposite is true...
Hahaha XD I agree that was not the most appropriate thing to do in a conference, but still.
Yay that's good
maybe you can do it in uni!Hahaha maybe they were more interested in the environment one?
Loool
I guess doing your own country would definitely be easier in many cases.That's true it is definitely more relevant to my subject
Meh, the chairs allowed it because they were bored... they added me on fb afterwards so I couldn't have been that bad
Original post by UWS
Omg this thread is goalssss, so amazing and inspirational
Good luck Michiyo!
Good luck Michiyo!
Duh, of course it is! I am a writer by nature and part of my grandiose plan is to write the best GYG ever
Just kidding XD Now, time for my real answer
OMG thank you
You flatter me too much 
(Are you sure you are not saying that just to be nice and due to our mutual confidence issues? )Thank you, dear UWS
Good luck to you too Original post by wolfmoon88
Yay that's good maybe you can do it in uni!
Hahaha maybe they were more interested in the environment one?
Loool I guess doing your own country would definitely be easier in many cases.
That's true it is definitely more relevant to my subject
Meh, the chairs allowed it because they were bored... they added me on fb afterwards so I couldn't have been that bad
maybe you can do it in uni!Hahaha maybe they were more interested in the environment one?
Loool
I guess doing your own country would definitely be easier in many cases.That's true it is definitely more relevant to my subject
Meh, the chairs allowed it because they were bored... they added me on fb afterwards so I couldn't have been that bad
I am not sure if I want to do it in uni, to be honest
I would rather focus on a part-time job, internships, and school Yep, makes sense
I was shocked to find out that a single person was a politics and international relations student. The others were doing degrees in law, philosophy, business, biology, modern languages, and so forth. I always imagined most MUN participants would be politics/IR students Of course it is
My fellow delegates wanted to add me on FB, but I never joined the FB group since I could not find it
(edited 7 years ago)
Hi! 
This was supposed to be posted on Sunday night as that is the day of my standard updates, but stuff happened, so I only posted it now. Here is what I have been up to.
Entry 1 – It Is Finally Over... Or So I Like To Think
Me this week:
Week 1 To-Do List:
What happened?
Whew! What a week it has been! I do not want to have such a week ever again. I am burnt out, stressed as hell, and literally one step away from an emotional breakdown. In fact, I started crying on Monday just because my oldest sister disapproved of me getting a job. THAT is how emotionally down and mentally unstable I am right now. Of course, give me a week or a month and I will be in perfect shape, but for now, I simply want to lie down and do nothing for a bit.
I managed to get to school on time every day by sleeping from 4-6 PM to 12-3 AM. It was not exactly ideal, but it worked and definitely did a better job than before, when I was unable to fall asleep before odd hours like 4 AM. (With school at 7:30 AM or 8:20 AM, I do not need to mention how difficult it was to get to school.)
Monday was a more or less good or bad day. In Romanian, I got a 9, so I am pleased about that. Having to get a last grade in French was a surprise for me as I assumed I would be left with an unclosed average grade for the first semester, but I did better than I thought and got an 8. In geography, I only got a 5 since the teacher asked me everything I did not know (not that I knew much anyway). I learnt of a few maps I needed and my presentations were ready for Tuesday. However, I did the presentations shortly after midnight (technically on Tuesday). The worst part of the day was speaking with my oldest sister, who found out I got hired. She disapproved of it a lot and threatened not to speak to me ever again if I do not deny the job offer, ending in her yelling and closing the call without even a goodbye while I cried. Yeah. She does have a point since I am unprepared for the bac, but I know I can do both. She called back after half an hour and said I am not going to resist anyway. Hooray, positivity!
I am so sick of people underestimating me. ‘You can’t do that,’ ‘You won’t be able to handle it,’ ‘You’re too (insert negative word) for that,’ ‘That’s too much for you,’ ‘You should focus on (insert b******* here),’ etc. I am a realist who knows herself better than anyone else, so if I say I can do something, it means I can do it. Stop putting me down; it will only do worse in the long run. Some encouragement or acceptance instead of negativity and other people thinking they know me better than I know myself would be nice once in a while.
Now, if those people were right, I would shut up. The problem is that they are always WRONG! They always, always underestimate me and it is driving me crazy. ‘You’ll fail’ at GCSE (hint: I did not), ‘You won’t get the [AS] grades needed to get into any university’ (oh, yeah?), ‘Not being involved in any extracurricular activities will be better for you’ (it was not, my extracurricular activities were part of the few things that kept me going and mentally stable). Sigh. I hate having to prove myself repeatedly. And when I state that I know what I am doing, people say I have not given them any reason to trust me about that. Okay, then… (As I have been the new girl every year for the past three years, I can understand where they are coming from, but that does not make me feel any better.)
What better way to prove people wrong than to do and be better than they ever thought I would?
Rant over. Moving on to Tuesday. One of my two English teachers complimented me on my writing and told me she will sign me up for an English writing contest in May.
I looked it up and it seems I have to write a good story by the end of this month. As for my school situation, my presentations were done and I turned them in. I studied for my history thesis and asked my sister to print out the maps I needed while I slept. Unfortunately, the memory stick stopped working right at that moment and I only had three maps ready, so I almost got a panic attack.
Luckily, the geography teacher decided to let me turn in the maps after the weeklong break between the first and the second term. After school, I went out with my (third older) sister and we had a fun day together, eating KFC, taking pictures, and just spending time together.
I did not revise Romanian until after the history thesis on Wednesday, but it went alright and I got an 8. I got 7 in the history thesis, which is way less than what I expected since I thought I did very well.
Once again, I did not study for history until Thursday morning (I did not even have all of the lessons). I got another 7 as I got a question wrong, which is not good. After school, I had to wait for my personal tutor for two and a half hours, only to be told to come back the next day at 10 AM. If only she could have said that at 10 AM, when my entire class left…
On Thursday, the most unbelievable thing happened! To give a bit of background: in 2014, I had an internet friend who introduced me to one of her friends. I became friends with that person too. Now, I was waiting in front of my school's secretariat. Two girls were there. An hour and a half passes, I walk around, I go back, and find these girls. We wait together. I initiate a conversation and joke around, which is unusual of me. We get along really well and find out we are in the same year. We get the things we need, chat a bit more, and the more talkative one asked me for my Facebook. The quieter one pulls out her cell phone and gives it to me so I could write my Facebook name. To my surprise, I show up first, which was shocking since I am so inactive on Facebook. She clicks on my profile and says WE ARE ALREADY FRIENDS ON FACEBOOK! I asked how. Turns out, she is internet friend number 2 from 2014!
For real, what are the odds of ending up in the same high school as a person who lived in another country with whom you spoke two years and three months ago AND meeting them while waiting in front of a room no student visits unless necessary?
We found the moment awesome and hugged. It was amazing! 
Later that day, I went to my workplace to get the invitation to the induction.
On Friday, I went to school (thanks to my lovely personal tutor) and signed that paper which says I will be expelled if I miss fourteen more lessons without justifying my absence. Afterwards, I attended the training, which turned out to be neither online nor at a restaurant. It was just a presentation and general guidelines with some tests at the end (we were given the answers to the tests anyway). I met a person who will work at the same KFC restaurant as me, though! 
Because school has been hell for the past two weeks, I took the rest of the week off.
I decided to give up on the project management and leadership course because I am and will be way too busy for it. I need some off time as well, and with school, work, volunteering, homework, and revising for the baccalaureate (which is in July, with my mocks being in mid-March), I would be too tired to attend that course regularly.
I had a Supernatural marathon on Saturday. I saw the episode in which coming back to reality and not living in our own world is addressed (season 8, episode 8) and I must say that it spoke to me. I have a tendency to stay in my own mind and avoid the outside world, but doing so only hinders me and gets me in trouble. That is part of why I never revised before; I was out of touch with the outside world. I do not want that anymore! I want to live in the present in order to improve my future, not live in my own mind to avoid my present.
But then I ask myself, is it possible to live in reality all the time or is it impossible not to slip into your own world at times? Is it human instinct to do so or are specific individuals prone to that? Are these two mutually exclusive, even? What causes this tendency of escapism in some people? What does it take to ‘wake up’? Can people succeed in life even if they do not ‘wake up’?
Of course, there are high chances that I will never know the answers to these questions. Are these questions even answerable by human minds? I might never know…
My Supernatural marathon continued on Sunday as well. Given how exhausted I am, that did not surprise me.
The first term has now ended. I want to say that it is over and I can finally relax, but when I think of all the things I have to do in the next week (which is supposed to be our free week) and month, I feel as if there is no end. My period of relaxation is probably over until after the bac. Only then will I be able to rest at last.
I want this to be over. I have been sick of high school for two years and I want a break. I just took a break, but it feels as if it was nowhere near enough to propel me through the next months. One could say I am out of energy or perhaps unable to cope with everything that is on my plate. Now that I ponder on it, I believe I feel the need to take a break since I am not living ‘in the present’ during the relaxation times; I only live in the present when I am under stress, which causes the illusion of me never catching a break. I suppose I can rectify that by living in the present at all times so I can enjoy my off time properly.
One thing is certain, though: even if I do not want to keep going, I have to. I want to give up, but I cannot give up since doing so will cause problems that are even more tiresome later. That is not a choice; it is simply how life is.
Is it ever truly over, though? Or is life a struggle with no safe breaks after another?
Week 2 To-Do List:
Note: If a goal is in italics, it means it was carried over from the previous week. If it is in bold, it means it was carried over from the previous two or more weeks. This has the role of increasing their urgency.
This was supposed to be posted on Sunday night as that is the day of my standard updates, but stuff happened, so I only posted it now. Here is what I have been up to. Entry 1 – It Is Finally Over... Or So I Like To Think
Me this week:
Week 1 To-Do List:
Spoiler
What happened?
Whew! What a week it has been! I do not want to have such a week ever again. I am burnt out, stressed as hell, and literally one step away from an emotional breakdown. In fact, I started crying on Monday just because my oldest sister disapproved of me getting a job. THAT is how emotionally down and mentally unstable I am right now. Of course, give me a week or a month and I will be in perfect shape, but for now, I simply want to lie down and do nothing for a bit.
I managed to get to school on time every day by sleeping from 4-6 PM to 12-3 AM. It was not exactly ideal, but it worked and definitely did a better job than before, when I was unable to fall asleep before odd hours like 4 AM. (With school at 7:30 AM or 8:20 AM, I do not need to mention how difficult it was to get to school.)
Monday was a more or less good or bad day. In Romanian, I got a 9, so I am pleased about that. Having to get a last grade in French was a surprise for me as I assumed I would be left with an unclosed average grade for the first semester, but I did better than I thought and got an 8. In geography, I only got a 5 since the teacher asked me everything I did not know (not that I knew much anyway). I learnt of a few maps I needed and my presentations were ready for Tuesday. However, I did the presentations shortly after midnight (technically on Tuesday). The worst part of the day was speaking with my oldest sister, who found out I got hired. She disapproved of it a lot and threatened not to speak to me ever again if I do not deny the job offer, ending in her yelling and closing the call without even a goodbye while I cried. Yeah. She does have a point since I am unprepared for the bac, but I know I can do both. She called back after half an hour and said I am not going to resist anyway. Hooray, positivity!
I am so sick of people underestimating me. ‘You can’t do that,’ ‘You won’t be able to handle it,’ ‘You’re too (insert negative word) for that,’ ‘That’s too much for you,’ ‘You should focus on (insert b******* here),’ etc. I am a realist who knows herself better than anyone else, so if I say I can do something, it means I can do it. Stop putting me down; it will only do worse in the long run. Some encouragement or acceptance instead of negativity and other people thinking they know me better than I know myself would be nice once in a while.
Now, if those people were right, I would shut up. The problem is that they are always WRONG! They always, always underestimate me and it is driving me crazy. ‘You’ll fail’ at GCSE (hint: I did not), ‘You won’t get the [AS] grades needed to get into any university’ (oh, yeah?), ‘Not being involved in any extracurricular activities will be better for you’ (it was not, my extracurricular activities were part of the few things that kept me going and mentally stable). Sigh. I hate having to prove myself repeatedly. And when I state that I know what I am doing, people say I have not given them any reason to trust me about that. Okay, then… (As I have been the new girl every year for the past three years, I can understand where they are coming from, but that does not make me feel any better.)
What better way to prove people wrong than to do and be better than they ever thought I would?
Rant over. Moving on to Tuesday. One of my two English teachers complimented me on my writing and told me she will sign me up for an English writing contest in May.
I looked it up and it seems I have to write a good story by the end of this month. As for my school situation, my presentations were done and I turned them in. I studied for my history thesis and asked my sister to print out the maps I needed while I slept. Unfortunately, the memory stick stopped working right at that moment and I only had three maps ready, so I almost got a panic attack.Luckily, the geography teacher decided to let me turn in the maps after the weeklong break between the first and the second term. After school, I went out with my (third older) sister and we had a fun day together, eating KFC, taking pictures, and just spending time together.
I did not revise Romanian until after the history thesis on Wednesday, but it went alright and I got an 8. I got 7 in the history thesis, which is way less than what I expected since I thought I did very well.
Once again, I did not study for history until Thursday morning (I did not even have all of the lessons). I got another 7 as I got a question wrong, which is not good. After school, I had to wait for my personal tutor for two and a half hours, only to be told to come back the next day at 10 AM. If only she could have said that at 10 AM, when my entire class left…
On Thursday, the most unbelievable thing happened! To give a bit of background: in 2014, I had an internet friend who introduced me to one of her friends. I became friends with that person too. Now, I was waiting in front of my school's secretariat. Two girls were there. An hour and a half passes, I walk around, I go back, and find these girls. We wait together. I initiate a conversation and joke around, which is unusual of me. We get along really well and find out we are in the same year. We get the things we need, chat a bit more, and the more talkative one asked me for my Facebook. The quieter one pulls out her cell phone and gives it to me so I could write my Facebook name. To my surprise, I show up first, which was shocking since I am so inactive on Facebook. She clicks on my profile and says WE ARE ALREADY FRIENDS ON FACEBOOK! I asked how. Turns out, she is internet friend number 2 from 2014!
For real, what are the odds of ending up in the same high school as a person who lived in another country with whom you spoke two years and three months ago AND meeting them while waiting in front of a room no student visits unless necessary?
We found the moment awesome and hugged.
It was amazing! Later that day, I went to my workplace to get the invitation to the induction.
On Friday, I went to school (thanks to my lovely personal tutor) and signed that paper which says I will be expelled if I miss fourteen more lessons without justifying my absence. Afterwards, I attended the training, which turned out to be neither online nor at a restaurant.
It was just a presentation and general guidelines with some tests at the end (we were given the answers to the tests anyway). I met a person who will work at the same KFC restaurant as me, though! Because school has been hell for the past two weeks, I took the rest of the week off.
I decided to give up on the project management and leadership course because I am and will be way too busy for it. I need some off time as well, and with school, work, volunteering, homework, and revising for the baccalaureate (which is in July, with my mocks being in mid-March), I would be too tired to attend that course regularly.
I had a Supernatural marathon on Saturday. I saw the episode in which coming back to reality and not living in our own world is addressed (season 8, episode 8) and I must say that it spoke to me. I have a tendency to stay in my own mind and avoid the outside world, but doing so only hinders me and gets me in trouble. That is part of why I never revised before; I was out of touch with the outside world. I do not want that anymore! I want to live in the present in order to improve my future, not live in my own mind to avoid my present.
But then I ask myself, is it possible to live in reality all the time or is it impossible not to slip into your own world at times? Is it human instinct to do so or are specific individuals prone to that? Are these two mutually exclusive, even? What causes this tendency of escapism in some people? What does it take to ‘wake up’? Can people succeed in life even if they do not ‘wake up’?
Of course, there are high chances that I will never know the answers to these questions. Are these questions even answerable by human minds? I might never know…
My Supernatural marathon continued on Sunday as well. Given how exhausted I am, that did not surprise me.
The first term has now ended. I want to say that it is over and I can finally relax, but when I think of all the things I have to do in the next week (which is supposed to be our free week) and month, I feel as if there is no end. My period of relaxation is probably over until after the bac. Only then will I be able to rest at last.
I want this to be over. I have been sick of high school for two years and I want a break. I just took a break, but it feels as if it was nowhere near enough to propel me through the next months. One could say I am out of energy or perhaps unable to cope with everything that is on my plate. Now that I ponder on it, I believe I feel the need to take a break since I am not living ‘in the present’ during the relaxation times; I only live in the present when I am under stress, which causes the illusion of me never catching a break. I suppose I can rectify that by living in the present at all times so I can enjoy my off time properly.
One thing is certain, though: even if I do not want to keep going, I have to. I want to give up, but I cannot give up since doing so will cause problems that are even more tiresome later. That is not a choice; it is simply how life is.
Is it ever truly over, though? Or is life a struggle with no safe breaks after another?
Week 2 To-Do List:
Spoiler
Note: If a goal is in italics, it means it was carried over from the previous week. If it is in bold, it means it was carried over from the previous two or more weeks. This has the role of increasing their urgency.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Michiyo
Duh, of course it is! I am a writer by nature and part of my grandiose plan is to write the best GYG ever
Just kidding XD Now, time for my real answer
OMG thank you You flatter me too much (Are you sure you are not saying that just to be nice and due to our mutual confidence issues? )
Thank you, dear UWS Good luck to you too
I am not sure if I want to do it in uni, to be honest I would rather focus on a part-time job, internships, and school
Yep, makes sense I was shocked to find out that a single person was a politics and international relations student. The others were doing degrees in law, philosophy, business, biology, modern languages, and so forth. I always imagined most MUN participants would be politics/IR students
Of course it is
My fellow delegates wanted to add me on FB, but I never joined the FB group since I could not find it
Just kidding XD Now, time for my real answer
OMG thank you
You flatter me too much (Are you sure you are not saying that just to be nice and due to our mutual confidence issues? )Thank you, dear UWS
Good luck to you too I am not sure if I want to do it in uni, to be honest
I would rather focus on a part-time job, internships, and school Yep, makes sense
I was shocked to find out that a single person was a politics and international relations student. The others were doing degrees in law, philosophy, business, biology, modern languages, and so forth. I always imagined most MUN participants would be politics/IR students Of course it is
My fellow delegates wanted to add me on FB, but I never joined the FB group since I could not find it
I didn't see this quote :/ sorry!
Maybe this could be your only society
and you can focus on internships and stuff too (or maybe you can join a political party ) Yeah policy making is a diverse field, all students should have an interest in certain areas of policy that most directly affects their field of study
They added me to the group cuz I couldn't find it too, then I added everyone from my bloc to the group hope you are ok Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by wolfmoon88
I didn't see this quote :/ sorry!
Maybe this could be your only society and you can focus on internships and stuff too (or maybe you can join a political party )
Yeah policy making is a diverse field, all students should have an interest in certain areas of policy that most directly affects their field of study
They added me to the group cuz I couldn't find it too, then I added everyone from my bloc to the group
hope you are ok
Posted from TSR Mobile
Maybe this could be your only society
and you can focus on internships and stuff too (or maybe you can join a political party ) Yeah policy making is a diverse field, all students should have an interest in certain areas of policy that most directly affects their field of study
They added me to the group cuz I couldn't find it too, then I added everyone from my bloc to the group hope you are ok Posted from TSR Mobile
It is alright
I would probably join like a society or two since I would be too lazy for other societies
I am in a political party already, as stated in the main post
Whenever I hear bloc, I think of the secret services' Soviet Bloc during the Cold War.
Hope you are alright too
It is update time!
Entry 2 – A So-Called ‘Break’
Me this week:
Week 2 To-Do List:
What happened?
Monday started – how else – with a continuation of my Supernatural marathon! I had to catch up to my sister. I woke up early, watched Supernatural, did some grocery shopping, and ran straight to my medical check-up. I bumped into the girl who is being hired at my workplace at the same time as me as well, which was nice. After the check-up, I wandered around the city for three hours since I was told to find a specific medicine at a specific shop and had bad luck on the way (the first shop was no longer there, the second did not have it, and I got on and off the wrong buses around three times during this whole experience). I could not find the medicine, but luckily, my father did, so he passed by to leave me the medicine. Nothing else occurred that day except for more Supernatural.
On Tuesday morning, I finally caught up to my sister on Supernatural (season 9 episode 4). I did a bit of cleaning afterwards, then proceeded to watch Lucifer since I never finished the first season, which I began with my sister (the only TV series I have ever watched on anything but TV were always started with at least one of my sisters). There was a power outage and after like an hour of inner debate, I cleaned my room almosy completely and did some cleaning-related thing I had to do. The same things happened on Wednesday, down to the power outage. (*sarcasm mode on* Yes, my life is very exciting. ) My medical results for the job also came on Wednesday night.
Thursday was also a lazy day and I continued the second season of Lucifer. I finished it on Saturday.
On Friday, I went to the second part of the induction. I had to read the rulebook. Then, I went to sign the contract. I am due to start on Monday. Next week, I will work from Monday to Friday, from 2 PM to 6:30 PM. This also goes for the week after that, albeit on the Friday of that week, I will have to take a test for my job from 3 PM to 5 PM. If I do not get at least 90% in said test, I will not be allowed to continue.
Sunday comes and I realise I have not done ANYTHING for school, nor have I finished cleaning my room. Yeah. Procrastination is my vice.
Now that I look back, choosing to marathon TV series instead of doing schoolwork and cleaning first was a mistake. I have made this mistake before, but for some reason, I always repeated it. Who knows, perhaps writing about it and posting about it here will help me solve this problem. After all, I cannot write about how I procrastinated the entire week in every entry and I do not want to lie.
Oh, well, at least my room is clean now. I should have done my schoolwork, really. I have no idea what I am going to do, especially since I have both school and work tomorrow. I guess I will try to make as many maps as I can until I go to sleep, wake up early, take a bath, make other maps in school if I can, and pray my day will go okay.
It is now 10:31 PM and since I made not a single map, I decided I am going to wake up at 2:30 AM to make the maps (assuming I spend fifteen minutes on each map, I will have enough time to make at least ten more maps, which is better than the two or three I have). At about 5 AM, I will take a bath and prepare for school. If I have any time left between after I finish these and when I leave (6:50 AM), I will make more maps. I will also try to make other maps in school, if I can, although chances are I will not be able to.
I need to stop procrastinating. Right now, had I done everything I had to do, I would be able to get a good night’s sleep and relax so I would be ready for school and work tomorrow, but as I did not, this is the situation I ended up in.
There it is, just a routine update of my boring week. The next entry should be more interesting, though.
Good night.
Week 3 To-Do List:
Entry 2 – A So-Called ‘Break’
Me this week:
Week 2 To-Do List:
Spoiler
What happened?
Monday started – how else – with a continuation of my Supernatural marathon! I had to catch up to my sister. I woke up early, watched Supernatural, did some grocery shopping, and ran straight to my medical check-up. I bumped into the girl who is being hired at my workplace at the same time as me as well, which was nice. After the check-up, I wandered around the city for three hours since I was told to find a specific medicine at a specific shop and had bad luck on the way (the first shop was no longer there, the second did not have it, and I got on and off the wrong buses around three times during this whole experience). I could not find the medicine, but luckily, my father did, so he passed by to leave me the medicine. Nothing else occurred that day except for more Supernatural.
On Tuesday morning, I finally caught up to my sister on Supernatural (season 9 episode 4). I did a bit of cleaning afterwards, then proceeded to watch Lucifer since I never finished the first season, which I began with my sister (the only TV series I have ever watched on anything but TV were always started with at least one of my sisters). There was a power outage and after like an hour of inner debate, I cleaned my room almosy completely and did some cleaning-related thing I had to do. The same things happened on Wednesday, down to the power outage. (*sarcasm mode on* Yes, my life is very exciting.
) My medical results for the job also came on Wednesday night.Thursday was also a lazy day and I continued the second season of Lucifer. I finished it on Saturday.
On Friday, I went to the second part of the induction. I had to read the rulebook. Then, I went to sign the contract. I am due to start on Monday. Next week, I will work from Monday to Friday, from 2 PM to 6:30 PM. This also goes for the week after that, albeit on the Friday of that week, I will have to take a test for my job from 3 PM to 5 PM. If I do not get at least 90% in said test, I will not be allowed to continue.
Sunday comes and I realise I have not done ANYTHING for school, nor have I finished cleaning my room. Yeah. Procrastination is my vice.
Now that I look back, choosing to marathon TV series instead of doing schoolwork and cleaning first was a mistake. I have made this mistake before, but for some reason, I always repeated it. Who knows, perhaps writing about it and posting about it here will help me solve this problem. After all, I cannot write about how I procrastinated the entire week in every entry and I do not want to lie.
Oh, well, at least my room is clean now. I should have done my schoolwork, really.
I have no idea what I am going to do, especially since I have both school and work tomorrow. I guess I will try to make as many maps as I can until I go to sleep, wake up early, take a bath, make other maps in school if I can, and pray my day will go okay.It is now 10:31 PM and since I made not a single map, I decided I am going to wake up at 2:30 AM to make the maps (assuming I spend fifteen minutes on each map, I will have enough time to make at least ten more maps, which is better than the two or three I have). At about 5 AM, I will take a bath and prepare for school. If I have any time left between after I finish these and when I leave (6:50 AM), I will make more maps. I will also try to make other maps in school, if I can, although chances are I will not be able to.
I need to stop procrastinating. Right now, had I done everything I had to do, I would be able to get a good night’s sleep and relax so I would be ready for school and work tomorrow, but as I did not, this is the situation I ended up in.
There it is, just a routine update of my boring week. The next entry should be more interesting, though.
Good night.
Week 3 To-Do List:
Spoiler
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Michiyo
It is alright
I would probably join like a society or two since I would be too lazy for other societies
I am in a political party already, as stated in the main post
Whenever I hear bloc, I think of the secret services' Soviet Bloc during the Cold War.
Hope you are alright too
I would probably join like a society or two since I would be too lazy for other societies
I am in a political party already, as stated in the main post
Whenever I hear bloc, I think of the secret services' Soviet Bloc during the Cold War.
Hope you are alright too
same here 
Lib Dems?
or the US bloc
but that's diplomacy 
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