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How would you deal with this situation

I had a female friend, one of a kind friend hence why I make the effort.

However when her BF comes around she is gone. She will take ages to reply to texts, never bother asking me out.

When her BF isn't here, she is always asking me out, if I'm short of money she will cook food instead and we will watch a film.

When I had a gf I always used to make time for her.

I just don't like this treatment.

How should I tell her that I don't like getting treated like this?
Is there an indirect way of saying it too?
Original post by Anonymous
I had a female friend, one of a kind friend hence why I make the effort.

However when her BF comes around she is gone. She will take ages to reply to texts, never bother asking me out.

When her BF isn't here, she is always asking me out, if I'm short of money she will cook food instead and we will watch a film.

When I had a gf I always used to make time for her.

I just don't like this treatment.

How should I tell her that I don't like getting treated like this?
Is there an indirect way of saying it too?


Im guessing you're a guy?

and tbh with you, she's got a boyfriend, you need to give her space and let her spend time with him- after all shes dating him, not you....

be honest here, do you have feelings for you?
because if you do, you need to clear the air, because it's wrong of you to do so- especially when she's in a relationship..

Also she shouldn’t be acting like that either- shes with someone else… I think you both need to sit down and talk things through….
It's pretty normal for anyone, male or female, to do that because a partner isn't just a romantic interest but also usually your best friend as well so of course you are going to want to spend a lot of time with them. However that doesn't mean it doesn't suck for the friends left waiting, and she shouldn't be ditching you entirely. Just talk to her, let her know you're totally ok with her spending a lot of time with him but that sometimes you feel a bit abandoned, as if you're just a filler for when he's not there yknow?
Reply 3
Original post by CleverSquirrel
Im guessing you're a guy?

and tbh with you, she's got a boyfriend, you need to give her space and let her spend time with him- after all shes dating him, not you....

be honest here, do you have feelings for you?
because if you do, you need to clear the air, because it's wrong of you to do so- especially when she's in a relationship..

Also she shouldn’t be acting like that either- shes with someone else… I think you both need to sit down and talk things through….


Yes I'm a dude, no I do not have any feelings for her. She a good friend.

I just think it's unfair that when she is not with her BF she is always calling me, asking for help. She helps me too. But when her BF is around she is gone.

I feel friendships need to be consistent. What happens if her BF stays the whole time?

I sometimes feel it's not worth making the effort.

I had a female best friend a few years ago, she had a BF but she made the effort. She lives in a another county but she still makes the effort to set up skype calls.
Original post by Anonymous
Yes I'm a dude, no I do not have any feelings for her. She a good friend.

I just think it's unfair that when she is not with her BF she is always calling me, asking for help. She helps me too. But when her BF is around she is gone.

I feel friendships need to be consistent. What happens if her BF stays the whole time?

I sometimes feel it's not worth making the effort.

I had a female best friend a few years ago, she had a BF but she made the effort. She lives in a another county but she still makes the effort to set up skype calls.


ahh okay i see- so she only comes to you when it's convenient for her?
It seems like she's using to kill time im afraid- i could be wrong?

she might just want to spend time with her BF, and be with him without any distractions

talk to her and tell her how shes making you feel and that this isnt what friends do! but sadly this is the case when most friends do get into relationships- their attention is diverted and they focus on their partners when they are around!

communication is important- whether it's in a friendship or a relationship, so sit her down and talk to her...

imo it's not worth it- the effort should be reciprocated! and shouldn't be one sided :yep:
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 5
Original post by CleverSquirrel
ahh okay i see- so she only comes to you when it's convenient for her?
It seems like she's using to kill time im afraid- i could be wrong?

talk to her and tell her how shes making you feel and that this isnt what friends do!
communication is important- whether it's in a friendship or a relationship, so sit her down and talk to her...

imo it's not worth it- the effort should be reciprocated! and shouldn't be one sided :yep:


Yes, she only comes when it suits her.

When I first met her, she was the nicest girl. Did so much for me, more than family has ever done hence why I'm trying to salvage it. But deep down I don't think I even want to make the effort.
Original post by Anonymous
Yes, she only comes when it suits her.

When I first met her, she was the nicest girl. Did so much for me, more than family has ever done hence why I'm trying to salvage it. But deep down I don't think I even want to make the effort.


well if you don't make the effort then don't... she'll realise soon after that she's lost an amazing friend because of this!
Reply 7
Original post by CleverSquirrel
well if you don't make the effort then don't... she'll realise soon after that she's lost an amazing friend because of this!


Yeah I think There are loads more people who will appreciate the effort I make with them

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