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Still find sex painful - he is big

I broke my virginity which was SO SO SO painful. Over a year on, and I still find it really painful. Other half does foreplay, we use plenty of lube. Even seeing a sexual health nurse, who gave me a dilator.

Without any jokes because I am getting really down about it, the first moments feel like hell. I'm sometimes crying due to the pain. I also have a high pain threshold. My other half is quite big, nearly 6 ft and size 12 feet. As much everyone thinks that's amazing, it actually isn't. It hurts so much and I feel like it's poking my stomach. I'm quite petite; 5 ft.

Anyone else had this problem? How have you dealt with it? :frown:

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Original post by Anonymous
I broke my virginity which was SO SO SO painful. Over a year on, and I still find it really painful. Other half does foreplay, we use plenty of lube. Even seeing a sexual health nurse, who gave me a dilator.

Without any jokes because I am getting really down about it, the first moments feel like hell. I'm sometimes crying due to the pain. I also have a high pain threshold. My other half is quite big, nearly 6 ft and size 12 feet. As much everyone thinks that's amazing, it actually isn't. It hurts so much and I feel like it's poking my stomach. I'm quite petite; 5 ft.

Anyone else had this problem? How have you dealt with it? :frown:


Your other half is 6ft??? His... Is bigger than your whole body + 1ft...
Have you tried different positions? Orgasming before sex can relax your vagina and make sex a bit easier. You can also try a penis ring which when worn, reduces the length of his shaft and shortens the volume for intake.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 3
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Marshall Taylor
Your other half is 6ft??? His... Is bigger than your whole body + 1ft...


He is nearly 6 ft tall*
Common sense? :colonhash:
Original post by Anonymous
I broke my virginity which was SO SO SO painful. Over a year on, and I still find it really painful. Other half does foreplay, we use plenty of lube. Even seeing a sexual health nurse, who gave me a dilator.

Without any jokes because I am getting really down about it, the first moments feel like hell. I'm sometimes crying due to the pain. I also have a high pain threshold. My other half is quite big, nearly 6 ft and size 12 feet. As much everyone thinks that's amazing, it actually isn't. It hurts so much and I feel like it's poking my stomach. I'm quite petite; 5 ft.

Anyone else had this problem? How have you dealt with it? :frown:


This is not normal. Are you wanting sex or is he forcing you. The vagina is very stretchy and can easily accommodate a large penis. My partner is 6ft 2 inches and is well endowed. I am 5 ft 2 inches. We do not have a problem. I do suspect there is something else going on
It might not even be due to his size. It might be due to physical/ psychological conditions which you are not aware of. I would see your GP about this if you haven't already.
Reply 6
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Anonymous #1
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Original post by sameehaiqbal
Have you tried different positions? Orgasming before sex can relax your vagina and make sex a bit easier.


Yes even if I organism it still feels really painful. Me going on top is so much worse. We try most doable positions. :frown:
Is he putting it in the right place..
Original post by Anonymous
Yes even if I organism it still feels really painful. Me going on top is so much worse. We try most doable positions. :frown:


That really must suck. Have you tried doggy and lying on your belly sticking your bum out? I think this position allows for a lot of room. Is it because he is quite wide or is it because of the length? If it's because of the length just ask him not to go so deep!

Other than that, I would get it checked out. The vagina is supposed to be able to expand to big things. Maybe it is an underlying health problem. Sex is never supposed to hurt.
(edited 7 years ago)
I'd get it checked out, it's not normal
Original post by Anonymous
Yes even if I organism it still feels really painful. Me going on top is so much worse. We try most doable positions. :frown:


Try gentle slow rhythmic doggy style
Original post by squeakysquirrel
This is not normal. Are you wanting sex or is he forcing you. The vagina is very stretchy and can easily accommodate a large penis. My partner is 6ft 2 inches and is well endowed. I am 5 ft 2 inches. We do not have a problem. I do suspect there is something else going on



Original post by habeas.corpus
It might not even be due to his size. It might be due to physical/ psychological conditions which you are not aware of. I would see your GP about this if you haven't already.


I suffered from abuse when I was a child and an unrelated assault about 9 years ago. I have had counselling for a long time and also seen a sexual health nurse. I'm not sure what more to do. It is really thick and long, might be tmi but I haven't had sex with any other men, but I can see and feel something big. We are actually married and it is affecting our relationship.
Reply 12
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Josb
6
Original post by Anonymous
I suffered from abuse when I was a child and an unrelated assault about 9 years ago. I have had counselling for a long time and also seen a sexual health nurse. I'm not sure what more to do. It is really thick and long, might be tmi but I haven't had sex with any other men, but I can see and feel something big. We are actually married and it is affecting our relationship.


You didn't have sex before getting married?
Original post by sameehaiqbal
That really must suck. Have you tried doggy and lying on your belly sticking your bum out? I think this position allows for a lot of room. Is it because he is quite wide or is it because of the length? If it's because of the length just ask him not to go so deep!

Other than that, I would get it checked out. The vagina is supposed to be able to expand to big things. Maybe it is an underlying health problem. Sex is never supposed to hurt.



It's been over a year, and we initially had sex every day, with me biting my hand to stop the pain, now I just cry. He really gets put off but I also have a high sex drive. It's put him in such an uncomfortable position. The sexual health nurse, it sounds like he is abusing me, and that really got to him. Because sometimes, we only have sex because I want to.

Original post by STEMisSuperior.
Try gentle slow rhythmic doggy style


We have tried this, it still hurts, more than missionary
Original post by Anonymous
It's been over a year, and we initially had sex every day, with me biting my hand to stop the pain, now I just cry. He really gets put off but I also have a high sex drive. It's put him in such an uncomfortable position. The sexual health nurse, it sounds like he is abusing me, and that really got to him. Because sometimes, we only have sex because I want to.



We have tried this, it still hurts, more than missionary


Thats just not fair at all. You shouldnt be having sex if its hurting you. You need to tell him it is hurting you and have you tried going to an actual gynaecologist?
Original post by Josb
You didn't have sex before getting married?


You're not helping and the question will not benefit you in any way. You are just mocking me, I mentioned shoe size because sometimes, may be a myth shoe size and penis size is correlated.
Original post by sameehaiqbal
Thats just not fair at all. You shouldnt be having sex if its hurting you. You need to tell him it is hurting you and have you tried going to an actual gynaecologist?


He knows it hurts, we even use a dildo sometimes. A really small one, and it initially really hurts. The nurse has referred me to a gynaecologist because of this and I also had the coil put in, but due to the pain during the insertion, it moved from my cervix.
Original post by Anonymous
I suffered from abuse when I was a child and an unrelated assault about 9 years ago. I have had counselling for a long time and also seen a sexual health nurse. I'm not sure what more to do. It is really thick and long, might be tmi but I haven't had sex with any other men, but I can see and feel something big. We are actually married and it is affecting our relationship.


Have you spoken to them specifically about finding sex painful? :smile: Even if your husband is unusually large it shouldn't be happening, and it could either be a physical problem or a psychological one from the trauma, but either way they should be able to help :hugs:

The other thing I'd say is if you haven't already, make sure you've tried using a vibrator etc while on your own to see if that's any different. It might be better while there's no pressure on you and you can just concentrate on yourself, plus you can obviously start with a somewhat smaller size :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
He knows it hurts, we even use a dildo sometimes. A really small one, and it initially really hurts. The nurse has referred me to a gynaecologist because of this and I also had the coil put in, but due to the pain during the insertion, it moved from my cervix.


A small dildo hurts you? This is definitely an underlying problem and a sexual health nurse/GP is going to do nothing about it, a gynaecologist will. You need to demand for that referral for as soon as possible because it's been too long since you've been dealing with this problem. A gynaecologist will do some ultrasound scans and blood tests to check if there are any underlying problems and hopefully she will offer some solutions. I really do hope things get better for you. And just ignore the ignorant people on this thread.

You may be lacking in estrogen which is causing you not to be very sexually aroused and very very dry and tight down there. I had this problem and then went to the gynaecologist and I had a hormone problem. I am now on the combined pill and this may be all you need to start getting things working down there.

Edit: As the above user said, it could also be a psychological problem due to your trauma. A gynaecologist will definitely be able to help you out.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 19
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ANM775
20
Original post by Anonymous
I also have a high pain threshold. My other half is quite big, nearly 6 ft and size 12 feet. As much everyone thinks that's amazing, it actually isn't. It hurts so much and I feel like it's poking my stomach. I'm quite petite; 5 ft.

Anyone else had this problem? How have you dealt with it? :frown:






Try an Asian guy


:wink:

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