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I said yes to being his girlfriend...but

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Original post by decrepitorchid
Absolutely but it's also not ok to manipulate someone into being in a relationship with you. Also look at the post update. I Ended things on friday.


To be honest I think he has every right to be upset, I realise you been having a tough time but you knew you didn't want a relationship but yet you said yes to him, maybe it is for the best you don't talk to him and let him move on, surely you can understand why he feels upset and strung along. All you can do now is ignore his texts.
Original post by Rock Fan
To be honest I think he has every right to be upset, I realise you been having a tough time but you knew you didn't want a relationship but yet you said yes to him, maybe it is for the best you don't talk to him and let him move on, surely you can understand why he feels upset and strung along. All you can do now is ignore his texts.


Women love playing with other peoples emotions.
Original post by Rock Fan
To be honest I think he has every right to be upset, I realise you been having a tough time but you knew you didn't want a relationship but yet you said yes to him, maybe it is for the best you don't talk to him and let him move on, surely you can understand why he feels upset and strung along. All you can do now is ignore his texts.


The best thing to do is for her to continue to work on herself and after a few months pass. Reconnect, start fresh and see if they are actually meant for each other. If not, fine, they can go their separate ways. But if they don't do that, they'll always wonder what if.
Original post by daydreamer93
The best thing to do is for her to continue to work on herself and after a few months pass. Reconnect, start fresh and see if they are actually meant for each other. If not, fine, they can go their separate ways. But if they don't do that, they'll always wonder what if.


Not being horrible but most likely he will not want to bother anymore.
Original post by Rock Fan
Not being horrible but most likely he will not want to bother anymore.


We don't know that. He could still have feelings for her even after a long period of time. In life, everything deserves a 2nd chance. She could've missed out on a great guy and trust me I know the feeling. When the time comes if he's available, why not?

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Original post by daydreamer93
We don't know that. He could still have feelings for her even after a long period of time. In life, everything deserves a 2nd chance. She could've missed out on a great guy and trust me I know the feeling. When the time comes if he's available, why not?

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Again not being horrible I was in his shoes, after being strung along like that I would never go back. Had something similar happen to me but I never gave the person in question another chance to get back.
Original post by decrepitorchid
Absolutely but it's also not ok to manipulate someone into being in a relationship with you. Also look at the post update. I Ended things on friday.

I think my somewhat similar story might help you through this difficult time.
I was engaged to a guy, was with him since high school. But we ended things when we went to separate colleges, we tried Q long distance relationship but that ended miserably. Of course I still had feelings for him and was missing that affection. I got with a guy straight after. He was nice and really into me. I enjoyed his company but knew I needed time to myself, time to reflect after only recently coming out of a long term relationship. I didn't want to just use him to get over my ex. So I ended it much to his dismay. 6/7 months flew by and in that time I focused on my health and went travelling completely free, spending more me time with myself. Then after a while he contacted me on Skype to tell me how I was doing. And at that point I was ready. I was at peace with my past, no longer hurting over my ex. So I decided to meet up with him and start on a clean slate and act as if we never met before. This could've went either way but I was prepared for any result. Thankfully it was the fairy tale ending, I was comfortable and happy with him, and been with him ever since, it will be close to a 11months now. We've moved in together and I'm glad I gave him another go.
Moral of the story is that so far you did the right thing to end things and work on yourself. When the time is right reconnect with him, or he might reconnect with you if he has interest in you. Then go from there. You will be equipped with whatever the outcome. I whole heartedly agree with the above poster that evryone deserves a 2nd chance, after all it was not the guy's fault and neither was it yours, you were at a vulnerable state, most people would get a little crazy in that situation as did I.. good luck to you on your road to recovery!
Original post by decrepitorchid
UPDATE: I ended things. I tried explaining and giving the most sincere apology I could while maintaining myself firm and expecting him to apologize for his side of things. The latter didn't happen. He chose to send manipulative texts that tried to guilt me into going back, and this only reinforced the suspicions I'd had of him.

.


Cant remember what I advised, but bet I was correct. His actions show (as suspected) he has his interests and not yours at heart. Cut contact completely or if he is aggressive, simply do not respond. Think how rubbish it would be , being his gf. Immature and selfish. he could have been selfless, understanding, patient and supportive.
Original post by 999tigger
Cant remember what I advised, but bet I was correct. His actions show (as suspected) he has his interests and not yours at heart. Cut contact completely or if he is aggressive, simply do not respond. Think how rubbish it would be , being his gf. Immature and selfish. he could have been selfless, understanding, patient and supportive.


How is he immature and selfish? He is a man who knows what he wants. If anything that's something to admire. He is sure of himself. Anyway the OP did the right thing with ending it with him, it wasnt good for either of them. Only time will tell if they are meant to be in the future
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Psychologist22
How is he immature and selfish? He is a man who knows what he wants. If anything that's something to admire. He is sure of himself. Anyway the OP did the right thing with ending it with him, it wasnt good for either of them. Only time will tell if they are meant to be


Because the OP has unresolved issues and its obvious she needs to sort them out for herself till she is able to commit. When you know that then its selfish to push your own agenda at the expense of someone else. Just because a man knows what he wants for himself doesnt mean its right to do it at the expense of someone else, someone you are professing to care about. Part of being grown up is knowing wgen you should put someone elses interests before your own. I dont think you need much time to tell anything, they were only a month gone. Its clear the OP has enough issues that will take her many months > 1 year to deal with.
Original post by Rock Fan
Again not being horrible I was in his shoes, after being strung along like that I would never go back. Had something similar happen to me but I never gave the person in question another chance to get back.


I wish I had the time and care to share the whole story with you all. I'm not gullible and realize when emotional manipulation is at play. It was happening from the get-go and I was too stupid and emotional to see it. In the long run I'm happy as a lark, and we're still friends.

A lesson to those of you who are bitter about my life event (which may even be a reflection of your own problems :wink: ): you can't affect how others react to your life decisions, however, you CAN not let them **** with your head and try to twist you up with guilt to fit THEIR life circumstances.

Also, he apologized and admitted he was being manipulative. Chao, *****es.
Original post by decrepitorchid
I wish I had the time and care to share the whole story with you all. I'm not gullible and realize when emotional manipulation is at play. It was happening from the get-go and I was too stupid and emotional to see it. In the long run I'm happy as a lark, and we're still friends.

A lesson to those of you who are bitter about my life event (which may even be a reflection of your own problems :wink: ): you can't affect how others react to your life decisions, however, you CAN not let them **** with your head and try to twist you up with guilt to fit THEIR life circumstances.

Also, he apologized and admitted he was being manipulative. Chao, *****es.


Good that you've resolved it. But are you sure he was being manipulative? I assumed that about someone and it turned out they were just being honest. Sheer chance of causality
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by decrepitorchid
I wish I had the time and care to share the whole story with you all. I'm not gullible and realize when emotional manipulation is at play. It was happening from the get-go and I was too stupid and emotional to see it. In the long run I'm happy as a lark, and we're still friends.

A lesson to those of you who are bitter about my life event (which may even be a reflection of your own problems :wink: ): you can't affect how others react to your life decisions, however, you CAN not let them **** with your head and try to twist you up with guilt to fit THEIR life circumstances.

Also, he apologized and admitted he was being manipulative. Chao, *****es.


Whose bitter? I have no issues in life, all I said was you perhaps shouldn't have drawn him in like that, yeah he shouldn't have texted whatever he texted you after but you can understand why he was upset, he felt strung along.

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