Am I being too harsh?

I am in my second year of uni and I recently joined tinder. Most of the people I have matched with are from my uni but the person I have been talking too recently didn't go to uni, she left college and now id just a waitress. I have arranged to meet up with her this week but I can't shake the fact she doesn't really seem intelligent. The way she words messages and the things she says make me think she isn't smart. I feel bad because we do have some similar interests and we seem to get on but I m thinking about cancelling the date because of the fact she isn't at uni. I know I sound really bad but do you think I'm being too harsh and what do you think I should do?

Reply 1

gino0753

Nah still meet up. Love could blossom you judge people at face value not based on messages

Reply 2

INTERNET-HO

Yeah, meet up you never know what could happen. It could just be a case that's how she texts.

Reply 3

username47781

20

What you got to lose by meeting up

Reply 4

Reality Check

22

You've made a summary judgement of her intelligence and possible suitability as a date based on a few smartphone messages...really.. :frown:

Why not just go and actually meet her in person and then make a decision? What's the worse that 's going to happen - maybe having to spend 30 minutes with someone and decide they're not for you after alll?

Reply 5

bones-mccoy

19

You're being incredibly judgemental, I'd cancel the date just so she doesn't have to witness you in person

Reply 6

DocManhattan

Really? you're judging this innocent girl about her intelligence because she didnt go to uni and decided to work to make some money. That is beyond disgusting and you're an extremely shallow person, hope you stay single for a long time. People have their own personal reasons for not going to uni, doesnt mean they are dumb.

Reply 7

markova21

21

I would also suggest meeting up with her. Try to keep an open mind and just see how you feel afterwards. Something to also bear in mind is, you're not choosing the future mother of your children; who you might hope to be intelligent, attractive, tall or whatever. Just enjoy yourself. I wish I had gone on a lot more dates. I think it's a good way to see who ISN'T right for you even more than who is, via a process of elimination.

Reply 8

Lavaridge

11

Some of these replies are quite amusing. I've been on quite a few Tinder dates and yes, I've been able to predict someone's intelligence in advance from their messages and their bio. By all means, still go on the date if you think you guys might get on anyway, but you're not evil for taking intelligence in to account, or for not wanting to meet up with someone you think you won't get on with.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

I know it sounds bad but I just think that we won't have many things in common to actually talk about and if there is a big intelligence gap then things might not be great. She does seem nice though and she looks really good so I'm just not sure what to do.

Reply 10

the bear

20

Original post by Anonymous

I am in my second year of uni and I recently joined tinder. Most of the people I have matched with are from my uni but the person I have been talking too recently didn't go to uni, she left college and now id just a waitress. I have arranged to meet up with her this week but I can't shake the fact she doesn't really seem intelligent. The way she words messages and the things she says make me think she isn't smart. I feel bad because we do have some similar interests and we seem to get on but I m thinking about cancelling the date because of the fact she isn't at uni. I know I sound really bad but do you think I'm being too harsh and what do you think I should do?

it is just nasty to say

"she left college and now id just a waitress "

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by the bear

it is just nasty to say

"she left college and now id just a waitress "

Fair enough but its the truth, a waitress isn't exactly a good job. I am not judging her character or personality from that, just the fact she doesn't seem very intelligent and while we seem to get on now I just think the intelligence gap will probably mean we don't have much to talk about.

Reply 12

the bear

20

Original post by Anonymous

Fair enough but its the truth, a waitress isn't exactly a good job. I am not judging her character or personality from that, just the fact she doesn't seem very intelligent and while we seem to get on now I just think the intelligence gap will probably mean we don't have much to talk about.

tbh nothing you have posted so far is shining with intelligence ?

please change my mind :h:

Reply 13

cambio wechsel

20

Original post by the bear

it is just nasty to say

"she left college and now id just a waitress "

The eternal struggle. But that she id is a waitress shouldn't bear on whether ego.

Reply 14

999tigger

19

Original post by Anonymous

I know it sounds bad but I just think that we won't have many things in common to actually talk about and if there is a big intelligence gap then things might not be great. She does seem nice though and she looks really good so I'm just not sure what to do.

Meet her and see. She might not like you either and think you are shallow or an intellectual snob. There more to a person than just intelligence. You seem more drawn by looks anyway.

Reply 15

the bear

20

Original post by cambio wechsel

The eternal struggle. But that she id is a waitress shouldn't bear on whether ego.

hush jung man

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by the bear

tbh nothing you have posted so far is shining with intelligence ?

please change my mind :h:

How so? For a start I did decent a levels at college and got good grades and ended up in a good uni. Surely that shows intelligence?

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by 999tigger

Meet her and see. She might not like you either and think you are shallow or an intellectual snob. There more to a person than just intelligence. You seem more drawn by looks anyway.