Pregnancy and Parenting Society Mark II

Hi PMP

I'm really sorry that things have been so rough. That is a huge amount for anyone to deal with. How are you holding up now?

Original post by PinkMobilePhone

Hi all, just checking in. How's life?

My three year old has eaten everyone's advent calendars, pulled down the Christmas trimmings, smashed up the Christmas dessert for Christmas day, and half broken the star from our new Christmas ornament.

My seven year old won't stop moaning.

My nine year old I never see as he's outside constantly but when he's in all he does is back-chat and refuse to help with anything.

My eleven year old hates the entire family.

Let's top that off with a marriage that is failing, a dog that keeps peeing on the floor because she refuses to go out in the cold, and just to put the icing on the cake my best friend in the entire world fell out with me over a week ago and refuses to speak to me and without him I'm ****ing lost.

Merry bloody Christmas.

OP

Original post by randdom

Hi PMP

I'm really sorry that things have been so rough. That is a huge amount for anyone to deal with. How are you holding up now?

Honestly I feel like dying. If I wasn't so scared of death, and the fact that there's no way I could bring myself to do that because my family would just see me as a selfish cow and that's a *****y way to be remembered, I'd see sod all reason for me to still be on this earth.

I'm a terrible wife.
I'm clearly not somebody worth being friends with.
I'm a useless mother.
I'm a *****y author.
I'm a dire convention organiser.
I'm a disappointment of a daughter.
I'm fat and out of shape with a nose the size of a beak.
I'm a dreadful housekeeper.
I'm a crap piano player.

What actual use am I to anybody?

I'm crying again now. I can't even take it on the chin and be ****ing brave about it. Nobody would give a toss if I jumped under a bus to be honest. (No don't worry I have no intention of doing it. I'm thanatophobic which is ****ing hilarious given the circumstances.)

I've never in my life suffered from clinical depression but I feel like something inside me is broken right now.

Reply 2346

Anonymous #8

Original post by PinkMobilePhone

Honestly I feel like dying. If I wasn't so scared of death, and the fact that there's no way I could bring myself to do that because my family would just see me as a selfish cow and that's a *****y way to be remembered, I'd see sod all reason for me to still be on this earth.

I'm a terrible wife.
I'm clearly not somebody worth being friends with.
I'm a useless mother.
I'm a *****y author.
I'm a dire convention organiser.
I'm a disappointment of a daughter.
I'm fat and out of shape with a nose the size of a beak.
I'm a dreadful housekeeper.
I'm a crap piano player.

What actual use am I to anybody?

I'm crying again now. I can't even take it on the chin and be ****ing brave about it. Nobody would give a toss if I jumped under a bus to be honest. (No don't worry I have no intention of doing it. I'm thanatophobic which is ****ing hilarious given the circumstances.)

I've never in my life suffered from clinical depression but I feel like something inside me is broken right now.

There are people on this thread who care PMP.

Perhaps you could phone a helpline to talk things through or make an appointment to see your GP & show them your posts here as a starting point..? Or keep posting here with us?

Christmas can be such a rough time of year with pressure we put on ourselves!

Our children test our boundaries because they feel secure with us.
My husband's grandmother committed suicide when her youngest was about 5 - it still has a massive impact on all of her children - even the ones who now have children & grandchildren of their own. My uncle also committed suicide while I was at University. It is so horrible to know someone was in such pain & also for the people left behind dealing with the aftermath.

Reply 2347

Helenia

Original post by PinkMobilePhone

Honestly I feel like dying. If I wasn't so scared of death, and the fact that there's no way I could bring myself to do that because my family would just see me as a selfish cow and that's a *****y way to be remembered, I'd see sod all reason for me to still be on this earth.

I'm a terrible wife.
I'm clearly not somebody worth being friends with.
I'm a useless mother.
I'm a *****y author.
I'm a dire convention organiser.
I'm a disappointment of a daughter.
I'm fat and out of shape with a nose the size of a beak.
I'm a dreadful housekeeper.
I'm a crap piano player.

What actual use am I to anybody?

I'm crying again now. I can't even take it on the chin and be ****ing brave about it. Nobody would give a toss if I jumped under a bus to be honest. (No don't worry I have no intention of doing it. I'm thanatophobic which is ****ing hilarious given the circumstances.)

I've never in my life suffered from clinical depression but I feel like something inside me is broken right now.

Another one here to say that there are people here who care, and in real life too. You sound like you're under a lot of pressure from many different directions, and it's overwhelming you - which is completely understandable! Your kids do love you, they're testing you because they can and because they feel safe. I can't answer for your friend or your husband but I hope you can sort things out one way or another with them. Don't ever feel like you can't talk about it, either on here or to your GP or a helpline like the Samaritans.

We're getting on ok, Sam didn't really know what was going on with Christmas but got fawned over by all the relatives. Unfortunately I fell coming down the stairs on Christmas Eve and have badly sprained my foot, so am on crutches and can't carry him, making me dependent on Mr Helenia for lots of stuff. Fingers crossed it gets better before he goes back to work!

Reply 2348

Hi, can I join in the soc? I'm 18 weeks pregnant with my first baby. It's terrifying but really exciting! :smile:

I've had a pretty smooth ride so far, no morning sickness (just constant nausea for the first couple of months, but that's worn off now). I fainted at work yesterday though (I'm a trainee anaesthetist), luckily the patient was already asleep and there was another trainee and consultant available. I've felt a bit fainty on & off for the last few weeks but this is the first time I've actually lost consciousness..... it was pretty embarrassing to wake up sprawled out on the floor with my consultant holding my head, and soooo many people in the room! Oh well, extra long weekend for me. :biggrin:

Also, I felt a little kick for the first time over the weekend..... it was like something knocking from inside. It was awesome! :biggrin:

Reply 2349

Helenia

Original post by dances_with_lamposts

Hi, can I join in the soc? I'm 18 weeks pregnant with my first baby. It's terrifying but really exciting! :smile:

I've had a pretty smooth ride so far, no morning sickness (just constant nausea for the first couple of months, but that's worn off now). I fainted at work yesterday though (I'm a trainee anaesthetist), luckily the patient was already asleep and there was another trainee and consultant available. I've felt a bit fainty on & off for the last few weeks but this is the first time I've actually lost consciousness..... it was pretty embarrassing to wake up sprawled out on the floor with my consultant holding my head, and soooo many people in the room! Oh well, extra long weekend for me. :biggrin:

Also, I felt a little kick for the first time over the weekend..... it was like something knocking from inside. It was awesome! :biggrin:

18 weeks already? Wow! Sorry you fainted - did you get someone to check you over? Don't be afraid to ask for help/breaks etc if you need it, nobody will thank you for making yourself ill.

S is 4 months old now, have hit a few bumps with colds/sleep regression but overall things are pretty good. I'm staying at my parents this week while my husband is away skiing, so lots of free babysitting, though he's getting more unhappy about being held by anyone but me :s:

Reply 2350

Original post by Helenia

18 weeks already? Wow! Sorry you fainted - did you get someone to check you over? Don't be afraid to ask for help/breaks etc if you need it, nobody will thank you for making yourself ill.

S is 4 months old now, have hit a few bumps with colds/sleep regression but overall things are pretty good. I'm staying at my parents this week while my husband is away skiing, so lots of free babysitting, though he's getting more unhappy about being held by anyone but me :s:

Yeah, time has flown by, 19 weeks on Monday. :smile:

No, I wasn't hurt so I just got my fiancé to come and take me home. I won't make myself ill, it was only 9.30 in the morning, we'd just got the first patient on the table and I was drawing up drugs for the next when I felt lightheaded so I sat down (on the bin) and asked the trainee OPD to check my bp....... that's the last thing I remember. My bp was fine afterwards, I'd had a good breakfast so I don't think it was my bm, but I didn't check. I'm really lucky in my department in that everyone is pretty supportive, I've never felt pushed beyond my competence or felt like I can't ask for help when I need it. :smile:

I'm glad things are pretty good with you, did the house move go smoothly in the end?

Reply 2351

Anonymous #28

Original post by dances_with_lamposts

Yeah, time has flown by, 19 weeks on Monday. :smile:

No, I wasn't hurt so I just got my fiancé to come and take me home. I won't make myself ill, it was only 9.30 in the morning, we'd just got the first patient on the table and I was drawing up drugs for the next when I felt lightheaded so I sat down (on the bin) and asked the trainee OPD to check my bp....... that's the last thing I remember. My bp was fine afterwards, I'd had a good breakfast so I don't think it was my bm, but I didn't check. I'm really lucky in my department in that everyone is pretty supportive, I've never felt pushed beyond my competence or felt like I can't ask for help when I need it. :smile:

I'm glad things are pretty good with you, did the house move go smoothly in the end?

As smoothly as these things can go with a tiny baby! We're pretty settled in now, there are a few remaining bits of unpacking/sorting out, but the important bits are done. Just had a week at my parents while my husband was away skiing, so had lots more help than I normally would!

Reply 2352

Baby says hello! 20 week scan all done, everything looks good. Gave the radiographer a hard time - wouldn't stay still. :biggrin:

We didn't find out the gender, I'm thinking girl, my OH is thinking boy. Any ideas? It'll be awesome to find out when the baby is born, but it's so hard not knowing. (A boy would be easier though..... we have a boys name sorted, but we're struggling for a girls name that we both like). :smile:

Reply 2353

Helenia

Original post by dances_with_lamposts

Baby says hello! 20 week scan all done, everything looks good. Gave the radiographer a hard time - wouldn't stay still. :biggrin:

We didn't find out the gender, I'm thinking girl, my OH is thinking boy. Any ideas? It'll be awesome to find out when the baby is born, but it's so hard not knowing. (A boy would be easier though..... we have a boys name sorted, but we're struggling for a girls name that we both like). :smile:

Glad the scan went well! I'm not making any gender guesses, but if you stick it on Mumsnet there's a bunch of nutters will talk about "skull theory" or "nub theory" and tell you. But I expect you also have access to ultrasound at work and might be able to sneak another peek at some point... :wink:

Not that I ever did that...

We had a girl name picked out all along, found out it was a boy at the 20 week scan and STILL didn't come up with a name until he was about 8 days old!

Reply 2354

Original post by Helenia

Glad the scan went well! I'm not making any gender guesses, but if you stick it on Mumsnet there's a bunch of nutters will talk about "skull theory" or "nub theory" and tell you. But I expect you also have access to ultrasound at work and might be able to sneak another peek at some point... :wink:

Not that I ever did that...

We had a girl name picked out all along, found out it was a boy at the 20 week scan and STILL didn't come up with a name until he was about 8 days old!

Haha, yeah I've seen some of those skull theory posts, I don't get it. I can't tell the difference.
I've definitely never had a sneaky look with the ultrasound while I'm having a quiet moment on call! I may just had see to have another peek sometime. :wink:

I've emailed my Deanery about being pregnant, I'll have to miss my ARCP as it's supposed to be 5 days before I'm due, and it's in Cardiff. So they said they'll do it without me if I send my portfolio down with a colleague. Oh what a shame! I was looking forward to the 4 hour trip to Cardiff for a 5 minute meeting! :h:

Reply 2355

letsdothetimewarpagain

19

Is it possible to get PND second time round if you didnt first time round?

Bare in mind max spent 8 weeks in and out of hospital plus my life has gone to hell so it may just be that.

Feel completely awful and have anxiety that is borderline out of control

OP

Original post by letsdothetimewarpagain

Is it possible to get PND second time round if you didnt first time round?

Bare in mind max spent 8 weeks in and out of hospital plus my life has gone to hell so it may just be that.

Feel completely awful and have anxiety that is borderline out of control

I had it after my second baby, but not with any of my others.

Reply 2357

Anonymous #28

Original post by letsdothetimewarpagain

Is it possible to get PND second time round if you didnt first time round?

Bare in mind max spent 8 weeks in and out of hospital plus my life has gone to hell so it may just be that.

Feel completely awful and have anxiety that is borderline out of control

Absolutely possible. So sorry you've been having such a rough time - what's been happening with Max? Definitely talk to your HV/GP about what support you might be able to get.

Reply 2358

randdom