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How to be included?

At work, everyone is nice to me and polite to me etc, but I'm not as close to anyone as they all are to each other. I'd like to be, and try to be, but is there something I'm doing wrong or could do better? When they go out I'm often not invited, and they have banter between them but not with me.
Any suggestions would be very helpful :smile: I'd like to be more friendly with them.
Reply 1
Avatar for mdnvmpr
mdnvmpr
15
Original post by Anonymous
At work, everyone is nice to me and polite to me etc, but I'm not as close to anyone as they all are to each other. I'd like to be, and try to be, but is there something I'm doing wrong or could do better? When they go out I'm often not invited, and they have banter between them but not with me.
Any suggestions would be very helpful :smile: I'd like to be more friendly with them.


It's kind of a hard situation to be in, especially when you feel like there's already bonds between them and you don't want to intrude on the friendships that already exist.
I've found that almost all of the times in situations like this, you feel left out and uninvited because the other people don't know you, and so are kind of uncomfortable bringing you into the group.
I would suggest that you just try spending more time with them, you'll find that this way you can be more friendly with them, and you're more likely to get in on the jokes. I also suggest that you go out with them whenever you're invited, and maybe mention going out again while you're there, like 'This was really fun, we should do this again' or something like that and maybe even try to organise your own meet up sort of thing.

I don't think you're doing anything wrong, I just think they are hesitant to be nicer to you because they don't spend as much time with you and haven't got to know you that well.

Good luck with this whatever you decide to do! :smile:
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 2
Avatar for Rachaiec
Rachaiec
2
I have never read anything more accurate, i'm constantly in this position and your always liked by these people but your just never in their circle
Original post by Rachaiec
I have never read anything more accurate, i'm constantly in this position and your always liked by these people but your just never in their circle


I'm the same! I'm not really sure how to make things better, is there anything you've learned to do that helps?? X

Posted from TSR Mobile
Also in the same position! I think sometimes it just takes time and effort... keep being friendly and chatty and eventually you should get an invite

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