Parents won't let me pick mixed sex accommodation for uni.

My mum used to be pretty violent. But I'm male and I grew up and worked out a lot. I punched her the last time she did it and then she never did it again.

That's honestly next to impossible. She loves picking a fight. I told her that I wanted to go hiking in the Alps before uni (wasn't even a clubbing holiday like Magaluf) and she even said no to that. I feel so jealous when I see my mates having fun at uni and interrailing and knowing I can't do that because my mum is nothing but a selfish *****.

As soon as you get out of that house and go to uni, you can do whatever the hell you want. When I lived at home, I wasn't allowed to dye my hair or wear much make-up or go out clubbing etc (not that I really wanted to do that aspect), but now since I am out of the house, 20, and at uni, my daddy doesn't bat an eyelid at it. He had to accept me growing up.

It's a knee jerk reaction. They're shocked and hurt (even if they don't really have a right to be) and need time to adjust. And you try and come to a compromise because you're (I hope) the bigger and better person here. You're trying to convince them you're an adult, well having a tantrum and going off the deep end isn't going to help that argument.

Give them time, act like an adult and have a calm discussion with them, preferably with both of them there.

No it isn't a knee jerk reaction. It's been ages since I told them and they're still saying it. I shouldn't have to compromise. They never cared about what I wanted as a teenager. Why should I do things for them?

I don't really have a huge interest in makeup anyway. Your dad had to accept you growing up and at least he's reasonable. My parents aren't.

Right so I'm off to university about 2 hours away from my hometown and it's really irritated my parents because they wanted me to stay at home and commute. However, I applied without them knowing and by the time they found out, I had already firmed and insured my two choices so they couldn't actually do anything. I have an applicant day next month and my mum's coming along and yesterday we were having an argument about the type of accommodation I'm going to pick. I actually want to pick mixed sex accommodation, because I've heard from talking to students on open days that single sex accommodation can be incredibly catty (especially if you live in all girls accommodation). When I asked my mum why she wanted me to go for single sex accommodation, she told me that she wanted me to preserve my modesty and that men were sexually depraved beasts etc. She's also mentioned to me that at university she'll be "supervising" me and making sure I don't drink alcohol or whatever. When I told her it was none of her business what I got up to at uni and it was my life she basically went nuts and said she was my mother and so had the right to know.


I want to pick mixed accommodation at university because I genuinely think it'll be more fun but my parents seem to be ruining everything. I wanted to escape to uni so I had more freedom to do stuff but they seem to want to interfere in even that. What do I do? I can apply from accommodation from next month.

Best would be to play along with her - pretend to take in all her lectures. Tell her single sex cots double as very limited supply. Get as much funding out of her as possible then move to university. Find a nice boyfriend and have a lovely time and live happy ever after.....

Right so I'm off to university about 2 hours away from my hometown and it's really irritated my parents because they wanted me to stay at home and commute. However, I applied without them knowing and by the time they found out, I had already firmed and insured my two choices so they couldn't actually do anything. I have an applicant day next month and my mum's coming along and yesterday we were having an argument about the type of accommodation I'm going to pick. I actually want to pick mixed sex accommodation, because I've heard from talking to students on open days that single sex accommodation can be incredibly catty (especially if you live in all girls accommodation). When I asked my mum why she wanted me to go for single sex accommodation, she told me that she wanted me to preserve my modesty and that men were sexually depraved beasts etc. She's also mentioned to me that at university she'll be "supervising" me and making sure I don't drink alcohol or whatever. When I told her it was none of her business what I got up to at uni and it was my life she basically went nuts and said she was my mother and so had the right to know.


I want to pick mixed accommodation at university because I genuinely think it'll be more fun but my parents seem to be ruining everything. I wanted to escape to uni so I had more freedom to do stuff but they seem to want to interfere in even that. What do I do? I can apply from accommodation from next month.

You don't need both of your parents in your life to be a good person. Take it from someone who has had no contact with their mother for 14 years. I turned out alright. Except the mental health stuff. But we can ignore that part for now

Who's paying for it, them or student finance?, coz, if it's student finance it should make your uni choice easier(don't ask me how coz I don't get student finance due eligibility issues).

Also, aim to get a part time job for yourself or even a placement. The more you can fund yourself the less important whatever they say is?

Am I doing any of this?, no, but I know guys who are. Also, I'm a guy and I don't have parents who care about how deviant my flat mates are.

OR, you can try a single sex accom for once(in your 1st yr) and see if that's what you'd like, what's the harm in being around people that are less likely to harass you sexually?, I don't believe they're all gonna be catty(assuming that's negative thing) since people are different. Plus you'd probably have more in common with them than male housemates

I've had severe depression because of that woman. When she found out she called me attention seeking.

I agree with everyone else that its your right to choose because you will be an adult and parental responsibility ceases at 18. That said what are the implications, presumably out of term time then you will be expecting to live under their roof? I cant really see how she can supervise your activities from 4hours away. the cast majorities of unis have mixed accommodation. In halls they might have single sex floors.

Contact accomm and see if they have any experience of handling this, perhaps they can say its full or you get where you were placed? Do what you want but know how to handle it when you return home as she could make it extra difficult or cut you off.


Oh I see you are asian, no surprise....

Honestly, it would be a blessing if she cut me off. That's actually a really good idea yeah! Maybe on the form I can say single sex but then I call them up and say I made a mistake or something..

You do realise girls can harass girls sexually as well right? I've said before I generally get on better with guys than girls.

Posts like these make me think that there's no point in having children.