The Student Room Group

Parents won't let me pick mixed sex accommodation for uni.

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Original post by unillama
i know i sound liike a retard but listen to ur mom
she is right!!!


It's none her business if I want to preserve my modesty or not. I'm hardly a virgin. And you're wrong for thinking all men are sexually depraved beasts lmao.
Original post by fat_pam
OP, I understand, but 3 years at university go fast. Then what. Do you find a place to live and pay rent? What if you can't find a job straight away? Do you go to the council? If you carry on like this, you will end up on a council estate (lucky in a way, most 3rd world countries you would be sleeping rough on the street).

What is your ethnicity? I'm asian myself, so I know how twisted some asian parents can be.


My course is 4 years. And I have a family friend whose fine with me staying with her over holidays and stuff.

I'm Asian yes.
Original post by Anonymous
My course is 4 years. And I have a family friend whose fine with me staying with her over holidays and stuff.

I'm Asian yes.


What is the course OP?

What kind of asian?

Bengali? Gujarati? Punjabi? Tamil? Pakistani?
no, no, no i never said men are sexually depraved beasts
im just saying you may focus better if u had a all girls acc.
personally even i would wan tthat but yknow
same reson as urs


Original post by Anonymous
It's none her business if I want to preserve my modesty or not. I'm hardly a virgin. And you're wrong for thinking all men are sexually depraved beasts lmao.
Original post by Anonymous
Have you read anything I've said in this thread? Do you know anything about how my parents raised me? No. I get on better with guys than girls. If they really did "care" about me, they would've helped me with my mental health problems and my mother wouldn't have been violent on me when I was younger. Not all parents are good parents. And so I suggest you stop being so judgemental and deal with yourself and the friendship trust issues you seem to have. My best friend has helped me in more ways than you know.



The thing, if I had told them I had applied to uni, they would've put pressure on me to firm a uni in my hometown so I could stay at home and commute.That was mainly why I didn't tell them because they wouldn't have let me pick my uni choices.



Yeah I firmed and insured as soon as I got all 5s. I have a circle of friends I've told about this yeah. Thanks a bunch for your advice. You've been one of the helpful ones on here :smile:


It doesn't matter what anyone said/says
You don't want advice
You have made it clear you want nothing to do with your parents and will do uni your way
That's fine. You will have your reasons
So why on earth have you posted when you are not remotely interested in what anyone has to say
Original post by fat_pam
What is the course OP?

What kind of asian?

Bengali? Gujarati? Punjabi? Tamil? Pakistani?


Psychology and Spanish. And I'm Punjabi.

Original post by unillama
no, no, no i never said men are sexually depraved beasts
im just saying you may focus better if u had a all girls acc.
personally even i would wan tthat but yknow
same reson as urs


Nope not really. I prefer working with guys over girls. But my course will be female dominated anyway.
Original post by Anonymous
Psychology and Spanish. And I'm Punjabi.



Nope not really. I prefer working with guys over girls. But my course will be female dominated anyway.


Ok great, we know you are punjabi, now I have a better idea of how the mind of your parents work. Yes, honour is very important to them. They won't honour kill you though, which is a plus.

Drinking wise you should be ok, I know lot of punjabi guys who go heavy on the johnnie walker, punjabi girls drink as well so it's not a problem. Though I'm guessing your parents may have double standards for girls and guys.......as in girls must not drink, do the cooking and act all nice, while guys can drink, come home late and act abusive. I don't know, but it could be like that.

What do you want to do as a job OP?
Original post by fat_pam
Ok great, we know you are punjabi, now I have a better idea of how the mind of your parents work. Yes, honour is very important to them. They won't honour kill you though, which is a plus.

Drinking wise you should be ok, I know lot of punjabi guys who go heavy on the johnnie walker, punjabi girls drink as well so it's not a problem. Though I'm guessing your parents may have double standards for girls and guys.......as in girls must not drink, do the cooking and act all nice, while guys can drink, come home late and act abusive. I don't know, but it could be like that.

What do you want to do as a job OP?


Yup that's what it sounds like.

I want to be a lecturer/relationship counsellor.
Original post by Anonymous
My course is 4 years. And I have a family friend whose fine with me staying with her over holidays and stuff.

I'm Asian yes.


Holidays maybe yes, but not forever.
You think this is too easy isn't it?
I do think there may be some underestimation on the ease you will face by going with your own decisions. Firstly, would your Parents still agree to fund you if you go for mixed halls? Unless you are eligible for the full loan amount, I think it would be a huge struggle.
Secondly you talk about getting a part time job with ease. You'll be competiting with all the other students with no experience in that job. The only alternative you haven't actually considered is getting a job now while you can to get some funds for university while also getting some experience working. If you're going to go with your own decisions, you want to go knowing you got a nice amount of money to support yourself on and not just convince yourself you will end up with a parttime job providing a good income.

I'm sorry that you have to make this decision, but why is it so important for you to live in mixed gender housing for 1 year? What do you think will be different about sharing with 2 girls and 2 boys? The trade-off in my eyes to doing this will be a loss unless you can get the support of your parents.
You should definitely apply for the accommodation that YOU want, don't feel guilty about it, you won't be doing anything wrong!

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