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23 yo virgin out of choice. Something wrong with me?

I'm a virgin, never had a proper relationship, not because of cultural or religious regions, but simply because, I'm not really fussed.

I'm not unattractive, or unsociable, and I'm not asexual. I am attracted to males (I'm a girl btw) but I just don't feel that yearning desire for a relationship or sex. Or if I do, it's very brief and soon passes.

I know that one day I will want a relationship, and would love to fall in love and start a family, but right now I'm happy being independent, living my own life.

I think sometimes not having a relationship does bring me down, but then I realise that I only feel that way because of the social pressure to have a relationship, not because I particularly want to. More to fit in and do the normal thing, rather than to do what I personally want.

Do you think something is wrong with me?

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Reply 1
Avatar for EC
EC
18
You haven't discovered the joy of having a partner or you haven't met the right person. You haven't even discovered the pleasure of sex.

But then again relationships aren't for everyone.
No, you're a normie
Reply 3
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by EC
You haven't discovered the joy of having a partner or you haven't met the right person. You haven't even discovered the pleasure of sex.

But then again relationships aren't for everyone.


You don't say? :holmes:
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a virgin, never had a proper relationship, not because of cultural or religious regions, but simply because, I'm not really fussed.

I'm not unattractive, or unsociable, and I'm not asexual. I am attracted to males (I'm a girl btw) but I just don't feel that yearning desire for a relationship or sex. Or if I do, it's very brief and soon passes.

I know that one day I will want a relationship, and would love to fall in love and start a family, but right now I'm happy being independent, living my own life.

I think sometimes not having a relationship does bring me down, but then I realise that I only feel that way because of the social pressure to have a relationship, not because I particularly want to. More to fit in and do the normal thing, rather than to do what I personally want.

Do you think something is wrong with me?


Nope you are perfectly normal. When you meet the right person or your mood/ outlook changes then you may be more interested.
Reply 5
Avatar for EC
EC
18
Original post by Anonymous
You don't say? :holmes:


That's why you can't be bothered. When people do discover it, they usually want more.
Original post by EC
You haven't discovered the joy of having a partner or you haven't met the right person. You haven't even discovered the pleasure of sex.

But then again relationships aren't for everyone.


Is this meant to mean something? Thought the OP was clear?
Reply 7
Avatar for UWS
UWS
21
You're like me pretty much. 23 years old, virgin.... But that's because I've legitimately not tried to make it happen. I haven't come across the right person yet so that's all that matters to me and you shouldn't feel down about it either, it's normal :smile:
I feel the same tbh OP (I'm male though) sex and relationships are not really something which I drastically desire, nor am I bothered enough to go out looking for it. If the oppurtunity ever threw itself in my face I would probably be open to it. Not sure if that is possible though
There is nothing wrong with you at all. I'm 36 and never once desired a romantic relationship (not asexual either). Everyone wants different things in life. Just enjoy doing whatever you want to do!
No theres nothing wrong with you. im nearly 25 and im the same, never had sex or a relationship and never will. And that's fine with me.
Reply 11
Avatar for 3121
3121
21
I'm only 18 but i dont think I'll lose my virginity until at least 22.. I dont really want to have sex till im in a committed relationship, I've had chances but somehow managed to pass on it. Again its not because of religion or anything, to me it just doesn't seem right to have sex for fun unless its someone you plan to be with for a long time. And with university, i wont have time and dont plan to get in a serious relationship but with me doing a year in canada, who knows what could happen... it might get a little hard for me to hold onto my morals.

I also feel like I can't be happy with someone else till I'm happy with myself, as in I've achieved a fair amount and I'm able to stand on my own feet without my parents. I'm quite a strong tradionalist but I like it, it makes things feel more worthwhile and it makes me feel like I'm different to the messed up world around me.
Original post by UWS
You're like me pretty much. 23 years old, virgin.... But that's because I've legitimately not tried to make it happen. I haven't come across the right person yet so that's all that matters to me and you shouldn't feel down about it either, it's normal :smile:


yeah sure
yeh there is
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a virgin, never had a proper relationship, not because of cultural or religious regions, but simply because, I'm not really fussed.

I'm not unattractive, or unsociable, and I'm not asexual. I am attracted to males (I'm a girl btw) but I just don't feel that yearning desire for a relationship or sex. Or if I do, it's very brief and soon passes.

I know that one day I will want a relationship, and would love to fall in love and start a family, but right now I'm happy being independent, living my own life.

I think sometimes not having a relationship does bring me down, but then I realise that I only feel that way because of the social pressure to have a relationship, not because I particularly want to. More to fit in and do the normal thing, rather than to do what I personally want.

Do you think something is wrong with me?



Oh! Hello, me! I'm 23, not in a relationship, not unattractive, not bothered.

Why?

1) I'm cynical - relationships I have around me all seem doomed and the bad seems to outweigh the good
2) I haven't found anyone that truly intrigues me
3) I usually get approached by weirdos
4) I get irritated easily
5) I LOVE my own company


If it doesn't bother you, just LIVE! You're fine babe! However, if it does get to you - get out there and make it happen!
Original post by MeMoiLove
Oh! Hello, me! I'm 23, not in a relationship, not unattractive, not bothered.

Why?

1) I'm cynical - relationships I have around me all seem doomed and the bad seems to outweigh the good
2) I haven't found anyone that truly intrigues me
3) I usually get approached by weirdos
4) I get irritated easily
5) I LOVE my own company


If it doesn't bother you, just LIVE! You're fine babe! However, if it does get to you - get out there and make it happen!


Hello like minded spirit! Thank you for your kind words :smile:

I so agree with all those points you made!

My family has had a lot of bad relationships within it, especially my parents. Whilst I know that not all relationships are like that, I feel like the odds are against me, against everyone.
I feel that if you are genuinely happy with someone, that you are one of the lucky ones.

So many people get into unhappy relationships and they just don't see how unhappy they are, they just get used to feeling that way I think, it becomes normal to be unhappy. And I really don't want that to be me, especially when I'm content enough as things are!
Original post by zayn008
I'm only 18 but i dont think I'll lose my virginity until at least 22.. I dont really want to have sex till im in a committed relationship, I've had chances but somehow managed to pass on it. Again its not because of religion or anything, to me it just doesn't seem right to have sex for fun unless its someone you plan to be with for a long time. And with university, i wont have time and dont plan to get in a serious relationship but with me doing a year in canada, who knows what could happen... it might get a little hard for me to hold onto my morals.

I also feel like I can't be happy with someone else till I'm happy with myself, as in I've achieved a fair amount and I'm able to stand on my own feet without my parents. I'm quite a strong tradionalist but I like it, it makes things feel more worthwhile and it makes me feel like I'm different to the messed up world around me.


You sound like a very strong individual with good priorities!

Although I don't want to bash anyone who does have relationships or likes sex. If someone is being the exact opposite of me, I think that's fab as well. It's all about doing what we want and not feeling pressured to behave more in line with what society expects.

I hate the fact that some are made to feel *****y because they've slep with what society deems "too many", and I hate that those on the other end of the spectrum are made to feel *****y as well. It shouldn't define you.

Original post by sherlockfan
No theres nothing wrong with you. im nearly 25 and im the same, never had sex or a relationship and never will. And that's fine with me.


I suppose you can never say never though! I'm glad to hear from another like minded individual :smile: I've seen your posts and have a lot of respect for you as a person!

Original post by revolver777
There is nothing wrong with you at all. I'm 36 and never once desired a romantic relationship (not asexual either). Everyone wants different things in life. Just enjoy doing whatever you want to do!


Thank you for your lovely words, the bit in bold is so true!

Original post by somemightsay888
No, you're a normie


Fab news! :woo:

Original post by 999tigger
Nope you are perfectly normal. When you meet the right person or your mood/ outlook changes then you may be more interested.


That's great to hear thanks. That's precisely how I feel, I'm definitely open to a relationship if I meet the right person. But at the same time I'm happy going about my life as it currently is :smile:

Original post by UWS
You're like me pretty much. 23 years old, virgin.... But that's because I've legitimately not tried to make it happen. I haven't come across the right person yet so that's all that matters to me and you shouldn't feel down about it either, it's normal :smile:


Thanks!

And I have also legitimately not tried to make it happen, turned down opportunity etc :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
You sound like a very strong individual with good priorities!

Although I don't want to bash anyone who does have relationships or likes sex. If someone is being the exact opposite of me, I think that's fab as well. It's all about doing what we want and not feeling pressured to behave more in line with what society expects.

I hate the fact that some are made to feel *****y because they've slep with what society deems "too many", and I hate that those on the other end of the spectrum are made to feel *****y as well. It shouldn't define you.



I suppose you can never say never though! I'm glad to hear from another like minded individual :smile: I've seen your posts and have a lot of respect for you as a person!



Thank you for your lovely words, the bit in bold is so true!



Fab news! :woo:



That's great to hear thanks. That's precisely how I feel, I'm definitely open to a relationship if I meet the right person. But at the same time I'm happy going about my life as it currently is :smile:



Thanks!

And I have also legitimately not tried to make it happen, turned down opportunity etc :smile:

I can say never :smile: thanks though.
Original post by EC
You haven't discovered the joy of having a partner or you haven't met the right person. You haven't even discovered the pleasure of sex.

But then again relationships aren't for everyone.


Some people like me don't need sex or relationships. It's perfectly normal.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a virgin, never had a proper relationship, not because of cultural or religious regions, but simply because, I'm not really fussed.

I'm not unattractive, or unsociable, and I'm not asexual. I am attracted to males (I'm a girl btw) but I just don't feel that yearning desire for a relationship or sex. Or if I do, it's very brief and soon passes.

I know that one day I will want a relationship, and would love to fall in love and start a family, but right now I'm happy being independent, living my own life.

I think sometimes not having a relationship does bring me down, but then I realise that I only feel that way because of the social pressure to have a relationship, not because I particularly want to. More to fit in and do the normal thing, rather than to do what I personally want.

Do you think something is wrong with me?


When you are ready, you are ready. No one can tell you when that point may be and its going to be different for everybody. If you are sure of your decision then that's all that matters.


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