Growing up wealthy - AMA

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LOL how is that not wealthy?

Property in 3 countries? Could be anywhere at any value.

Private school - Scholarship

Holidays a few times a year - Meaningless

Live in a private villa - So.. 'live in a non-rented house', just like millions of others

Honestly; if someone were truely wealthy they'd have far better examples.

Reply 21

prazzyjazzy

Original post by Anonymous1502

That is spoilt.If i get an a or a* i don't get rewards or anything its whats expected of me.I get no allowance or anything also,if I want something big then i am not going to get it regardless of what I do.

To each their own. I don't think that's very spoilt. There's nothing wrong with encouraging your child to get good grades, though.

Reply 22

Anonymous1502

Original post by prazzyjazzy

To each their own. I don't think that's very spoilt. There's nothing wrong with encouraging your child to get good grades, though.

Your child should want to get good grades, it shouldn't be you telling them to get good grades. As this does not teach good work ethic and values.

Reply 23

Trapz99

Original post by Reue

Personally I'd still consider it wealthy, I guess it depends on your perspective tho

Reply 24

NX172

Original post by prazzyjazzy

To each their own. I don't think that's very spoilt. There's nothing wrong with encouraging your child to get good grades, though.

I don't agree with material incentives. The problem is, they start expecting these things everytime they do well and when they don't get / won't get them, they're less inclined to try as hard.

Reply 25

prazzyjazzy

Original post by Anonymous1502

Your child should want to get good grades, it shouldn't be you telling them to get good grades. As this does not teach good work ethic and values.

Not everyone has the same motivations. Would you rather bad grades = punishment, or good grades = reward? Which is a better work ethic, in your opinion?

Reply 26

jkls92

Original post by NX172

That's pretty much how my gf lived after her father won the lottery. Twice. Ferraris were bought and many expensive apartments were bought amongst other things.

Sadly, that life was short lived and was quickly spent and the family broke down. By the time she was 16, the father had such debts that he couldn't even afford to help her with studies. (no such government study aid in Spain) The father divorced and the family ended up living in poverty for a while (had to go to food banks and such).

For this reason, wealth is a double edged sword. Hope everything works out for you and your family, just don't take anything for granted, before you know it, it could be all gone.

Well, poor people who win the lottery notoriously tend to lose them soon, but that's not the case for those that had them for a while. Getting into debts when you have such a vast amount of liquid assets denotes financial idiocy, that can only come from total inexperience in managing money.

Anyways, you may have a point. For example, there is a saying in my family that goes "What you have you can always lose, but what you know no one can take it away from you".

Reply 27

Anonymous1502

Original post by prazzyjazzy

Not everyone has the same motivations. Would you rather bad grades = punishment, or good grades = reward? Which is a better work ethic, in your opinion?

bad grades=punishment. As the child realises that in real life, if your lazy and dont work hard you will be punished, by having financial struggles and not being able to find a job.By punishment, I do not refer to physical punishment, but taking e.g. video games away. In real life, if the child has previously been motivated by rewards, it would not work for them when they are grown up as they will lack incentive to work hard, as the person would only focus on quick rewards.But personally I think you should not punish your children or reward them for having good grades but motivated them to improve if they have bad grades and encourage them to keep going if they have good grades.But thats my opinion,each to their own.

Reply 28

Anonymous1502

Original post by NX172

I don't agree with material incentives. The problem is, they start expecting these things everytime they do well and when they don't get / won't get them, they're less inclined to try as hard.

I totally agree.

Reply 29

immigrant #963

Well...damn....

so uh want to donate to my paypal or something?

Reply 30

jkls92

Original post by NX172

I don't agree with material incentives. The problem is, they start expecting these things everytime they do well and when they don't get / won't get them, they're less inclined to try as hard.

Well, what if they always get them when they do well? My parents explicitly state that they spoil me, but that they will stop giving me money if my grades get bad. I want good grades for my personal satisfaction and for life, and, on top of this, I also know that if I stop putting effort in uni/school, the fun will stop. I think it's a wise educative method because I have lots of friends who give up worrying about grades to have fun, party, go out excessively, etc. That would not be possible without their parents' money.

Reply 31

NX172

Original post by prazzyjazzy

Not everyone has the same motivations. Would you rather bad grades = punishment, or good grades = reward? Which is a better work ethic, in your opinion?

Punishment and Reward are 2 extremes. Don't forget everything else in between.

The key to effectiveness for any student should be the ability to study independently. I learned this at a mid ranking University that didn't spoon feed me first class education. I had to rely on myself, and to motivate me, I needed dreams, however ridiculous they were, it didn't matter, as long as milestones was set, a direction was made and decided. After graduating and working in companies, I still have to continuously study and learn by myself, sometimes during my weekends, life is an endless journey of learning.

Obviously we can't expect that kind of ability that young, it's a stretch goal afterall. However, we should facilitate students' education by giving guidance and encouraging people to chase their dreams.

Why? Because dreams fuel motivation. Why should I do something if I don't get anything out of it? Well, a step towards your dream is often incentive enough. The steps may seem small and many, but you will get to your destination eventually as long as you keep going.

The worst thing you can have is no ambition or no dream. These directionless people generally choose subjects that they regret later in life, often dropping out or ending up with nothing. This happened to my gf. They never had any sort of careers office or guidance at school, and she was never able to fully explore her options. Additionally, my cousin grew up in the typical asian study heavy environment were grades were driven by punishment. Sure, he is a successful civil engineer now, but he recently discovered what he really wanted to do and has changed career paths. For this reason, punishment does not work long term.

With my brother, I went through some factual space books with him at the age of 6. Since then, he wanted to do something related in that field. Eventually he discovered that it wasn't for him and changed to aerospace instead. We set up work experience at Airbus for him and he decided that aero was definitely for him and is now studying Aerospace engineering at Uni.

On the otherhand, one of my friends was too entranced in chasing rewards for good grades, ended up taking easy subjects and ultimately a useless, mickey mouse degree. Currently working at ASDA and have been since graduating 5 years ago. The reward system employed by the parents clearly ultimately did him more harm.

You don't get dreams right first time, they're something that should be nurtured and grown. This is why we should encourage dreams to happen as early as possible in a student's life to avoid later disappointment. As parents and teachers, we should enable the students to explore their chosen fields and to allow them decide if that's what they really want to do.

Long story short, neither punishment nor reward should be the driving factor for grades, rather, it should be dreams and by themselves. Direction is driven by dreams and dreams drive motivation. We should empower people to make well informed study and career decisions by themselves and not to force it upon them through neither punishment nor reward. Cliche, but I've seen careers blossom and fall apart on this basis alone.

You can have your thread back.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 32

prazzyjazzy

Spoiler

As someone raised with parents who believed in exactly what you're talking about, I can't say it worked out too well. My logic is that I'm studying to get a well-paying job so that I can live a comfortable (perhaps even lavish) life. Rewards feel like a taste of the life I could be living if I work harder.

Being punished with things such at having games taken away or less time outside for getting bad grades is nothing like the consequences of not working hard as an adult. If a kid continues to feel unmotivated and becomes accustomed to such punishment (like myself), (s)he may underestimate the severity of getting poor grades in the future.

I'm a stubborn assh*le who would rather take the punishment than work hard if I feel like I don't reap any rewards in the short-term. Long-term goals don't feel realistically achievable. I'm also someone who doesn't really bother with people's opinions of me. This means I have plenty of self-confidence, but the method of "making me feel like **** for not trying hard enough" isn't a sustainable method, because I simply don't care if someone believes if I "have potential but doesn't work hard enough".

As you said, to each their own. That's why you shouldn't bash OP for being rewarded if that's what motivates him/her.

Spoiler

My comment was in reference to someone mentioning that OP was spoilt for being rewarded. It wasn't my intention to praise a certain teaching method, but rather to correct said person for calling out OP because a certain method provides "drive and motivation".

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 33

randyorton

Original post by whatfuture

hhmmm like we own property in three different countries, attend private schools, holidays a few times a year, live in a private villa, stuff like that wealthy

What school do you go to?

Reply 34

Reue

Original post by Lordlen

you idiot.

Excellent contribution

Reply 35

Reue

Original post by Lordlen

OP is wealthy. Your analysis is complete rubbish. Your head's so far up your arse, get over yourself old girl, you're on a student's forum.

Lmao

Reply 36

Nerry

Original post by Lordlen

OP is wealthy. Your analysis is complete rubbish. Your head's so far up your arse, get over yourself old girl, you're on a student's forum.

You strike me as a typical Tory supporter, hero-worshipping someone just because they CLAIM to be wealthy.

p.s OP is on this student forum too, sherlock...