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should i leave him ?

i'm 19, my boyfriend is 18. he's in his second year of A Levels and I start university next month. I'm not moving away to university, i'm just commuting.
It seems like the time my boyfriend has is decreasing and decreasing, which is having a negative effect on our relationship. I've been quite depressed lately and i think a part of it has to be because of my boyfriend constantly being so worn out that there's no affection and i don't really get any of his attention. I've been wanting to make the most of the time we've got before I start university, because I know I'm not gonna have time to just do whatever I want, but he works on a wednesday night and he's just gotten a new job thursday nights, saturdays and sundays. the thursday shift is 6-finish. he finished at twelve on thursday just gone. today and tomorrow he'll be working from 12-8 or finish. It's like he has no time for me and it's making me feel slightly neglected, and don't get me wrong, i love him to bits and i'm proud that he's doing so well but come september when he's planning to move away for university, i'm not gonna see him at all. i'm just tired of feeling like i'm not being emotionally fulfilled and i know that it sounds selfish, but it's really getting to me. Most of the time, he acts like i'm just an annoyance anyway. I don't know if to break up with him so that it doesn't get to the point where we can't stand each other or just try and be content? when i'm not with him and i'm able to text him, i just get one word replies which just makes me feel like an inconvenience. he gets annoyed when i'm down aswell. I think i'm sort of annoyed aswell because I didn't do this to him when i was doing my a levels so i don't understand.
Leave him. There seems to be no spark in the relationship and you don't need this drama when you join university.
Alternatively you can talk to him about it and try and make things work. However, it sounds like he just has no interest in trying to make things work.
Original post by Anonymous
i'm 19, my boyfriend is 18. he's in his second year of A Levels and I start university next month. I'm not moving away to university, i'm just commuting.
It seems like the time my boyfriend has is decreasing and decreasing, which is having a negative effect on our relationship. I've been quite depressed lately and i think a part of it has to be because of my boyfriend constantly being so worn out that there's no affection and i don't really get any of his attention. I've been wanting to make the most of the time we've got before I start university, because I know I'm not gonna have time to just do whatever I want, but he works on a wednesday night and he's just gotten a new job thursday nights, saturdays and sundays. the thursday shift is 6-finish. he finished at twelve on thursday just gone. today and tomorrow he'll be working from 12-8 or finish. It's like he has no time for me and it's making me feel slightly neglected, and don't get me wrong, i love him to bits and i'm proud that he's doing so well but come september when he's planning to move away for university, i'm not gonna see him at all. i'm just tired of feeling like i'm not being emotionally fulfilled and i know that it sounds selfish, but it's really getting to me. Most of the time, he acts like i'm just an annoyance anyway. I don't know if to break up with him so that it doesn't get to the point where we can't stand each other or just try and be content? when i'm not with him and i'm able to text him, i just get one word replies which just makes me feel like an inconvenience. he gets annoyed when i'm down aswell. I think i'm sort of annoyed aswell because I didn't do this to him when i was doing my a levels so i don't understand.


I can so relate to you. I had the exact same problem with my ex. I constantly felt like it was just me making an effort and doing all the chasing. Try talking to him properly and telling him howe you feel. I think the question of whether you should break up or not really dpeneds on what type of person you are. I am the the type of person who wants to feel loved and like someone cares about me fully. I need passion and attention in a relationship and I like spending physical time with them. So for me it didn't work as I felt like I wasn't his top prioity like he was for me. Try and compromise with him but if he doesn't change then leave because feeling like your annoying someone you love just messes with your head.
First things first you need to talk to him and just be blunt or it'll just linger and surface at a time that probably isn't going to be great.
Also, it sounds like you're trying to say the sort of things you want to say to him on here, so, there is obviously that voice in the back of your head pointing you towards breaking it up, it's just no one want to be the person to call if off.
I had a similar problem a few months back except I was the one who was being a bit of an idiot and not giving enough affection to the girl I was seeing. It didn't help that I wanted to go off and have the typical uni experience but she needed that much attention that in the end things just ended up breaking down. It's easier for me because I was the one acting like a tool so I can just say that it was my fault and there's nothing I can do about it. You sound like the one who is going to have to be mature enough to to make the call.
btw, I'd suggest talking about it sooner rather than later, he'll be sitting exams soon enough and if you let it go on then this could affect you when you go to uni. Good luck.

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