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<a https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7467335'> Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>
<a https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7467335'> Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>
<a https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7467335'> Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

How old were your parents when they had you?

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Original post by Kallisto
Did he get children before you was born? 45 is very late for the first child, even if in modern times like those.


Yup, he had two.
my mum was 20, my dad 26
Original post by Kallisto
Did he get children before you was born? 45 is very late for the first child, even if in modern times like those.


It's not late for a man surely...If it was a woman that age yeah but not a man. Men can have children at any age.
My mother came from rural Ireland and was married at 14 to a man much older, sort of an arranged marriage common at the time. She had 5 children to her husband and I was the youngest. I was born in 1948. She abandoned me on the steps of the children's home and I never saw either parent again. Her husband had left her. All children went into care. I had no papers so the nuns named me and gave me a birthday. She then came to England, met someone else and had 11 more children, all of whom ended up in care. Both parents now dead.
I had my first child in 1972 when I was 24. X
Mum had me when she was 34 and dad was nearly 36 (born 8 days before his 36th birthday)!

Have an older bro though...22 months older.
Original post by sherlockfan
It's not late for a man surely...If it was a woman that age yeah but not a man. Men can have children at any age.


I didn't talk about fertility. I have just regarded it as a late age for becoming father the first time. No more, no less.
Original post by Kallisto
I didn't talk about fertility. I have just regarded it as a late age for becoming father the first time. No more, no less.


I disagree. Arguably men become emotionally mature later in life so it makes sense to have children later when they can carry the financial and parental responsibility.
Original post by sherlockfan
I disagree. Arguably men become emotionally mature later in life so it makes sense to have children later when they can carry the financial and parental responsibility.


True. If I consider my father got the first child at the age of 21 or so, he was definetely immature for that. And it didn't get better in when I was born years later. Anyway, he got never the matureness to become father in my opinion. Really, some people are just incapable of being responsible for own children.
21 and 27. Me and my wife, we haven't had kids yet and we are both older now than our respective parents were when they had us. My neighbour is in her 80s and her parents had her when they were 15 and 13 and they went on to have 7 other kids after her....times are changing.

I'm kind of looking forward to the idea though, having kids I mean....I would want to have them younger too. Its just that life is impossible nowadays.

[video="youtube;LklITBuff0Y"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LklITBuff0Y[/video]
(edited 7 years ago)
I can't be the only one who read this as "how old were you when your parents had you" lool
Original post by Kallisto
True. If I consider my father got the first child at the age of 21 or so, he was definetely immature for that. And it didn't get better in when I was born years later. Anyway, he got never the matureness to become father in my opinion. Really, some people are just incapable of being responsible for own children.


tbf my dad is immature too even though he's an old man now. both my parents were incompetent and should never have had me imo. I think people should need to fill out an application before they have kids.
Original post by sherlockfan
tbf my dad is immature too even though he's an old man now. both my parents were incompetent and should never have had me imo. I think people should need to fill out an application before they have kids.


I personally have my doubts that people become better parents by filling out an application. It is completely different to be part-time parents for a certain time span and to be responsible for own children for a long time at once.

My honest opinion: no matter how bad parents in parenting are, it is always up to ourselves to make our own way.
Original post by Kallisto
I personally have my doubts that people become better parents by filling out an application. It is completely different to be part-time parents for a certain time span and to be responsible for own children for a long time at once.

My honest opinion: no matter how bad parents in parenting are, it is always up to ourselves to make our own way.

I dont think there is such a thing as a part time parent. Once you become a parent you're a parent for life. Children aren't just for Christmas.
Filling out an application and getting a licence would weed out anyone who is incompetent and irresponsible as well as people with inheritable conditions.
Dad 38
Mom 36
My Dad was 34 and Mum 38.
Original post by sherlockfan
I dont think there is such a thing as a part time parent. Once you become a parent you're a parent for life. Children aren't just for Christmas.
Filling out an application and getting a licence would weed out anyone who is incompetent and irresponsible as well as people with inheritable conditions.


Fine and dandy, but what should be done as a last consequence to prevent getting children? vasectomy for men and cut the oviduct off for women? what if they are changing their behaviour and get matureness for parenting children from time to time? it would not be possible to get children then, as these measures last forever.
I don't know. They told me a stork brought me, so I assume you have to be at least 16 to rent a stork :dontknow:
Original post by Kallisto
Fine and dandy, but what should be done as a last consequence to prevent getting children? vasectomy for men and cut the oviduct off for women? what if they are changing their behaviour and get matureness for parenting children from time to time? it would not be possible to get children then, as these measures last forever.

It would depend on the case obviously. If it is believed that they could be improved they could go to parenting lessons. Other wise there should be harsh penalties for those having children without a licence, just like if you drive a car without a licence. I wouldn't go as far as forced sterilisation as that sounds too Hitler-y to me. But there should be a stricter system and controls on the number of children per person allowed.
You didn't address my first point I see. If parents have bad traits that are inherited by the child, is it the child's responsibility?
Original post by sherlockfan
(...)
You didn't address my first point I see. If parents have bad traits that are inherited by the child, is it the child's responsibility?


I am so sorry, I have not seen this point of you. No, it is not. Children are inexperienced and do not know how to behave, so parents are not responsible for children's behaviours oly, but also paragons for those.
Original post by sherlockfan
I dont think there is such a thing as a part time parent. Once you become a parent you're a parent for life. Children aren't just for Christmas.
Filling out an application and getting a licence would weed out anyone who is incompetent and irresponsible as well as people with inheritable conditions.


What about those of us who didn't know we had an inheritable condition? I found out I had an inheritable condition when my eldest son was diagnosed when he was 16 and I had had another two children after him (who have also inherited it)

I can tell you now that the guilt I feel is absolutely enormous and they of course can see where their future will be going. Unfortunately it appears I married and had children with another carrier of the condition, so they all got a double dose and consequently, they are developing problems way before I did. Eldest son was told he would be in a wheelchair by his mid twenties, he is now 23, needs to use a stick from time to time (and should use it more) and hoping to beat the prediction.

I was 39 before needing a stick, 40 before I needed a wheelchair but have suffered problems all my life but which had all been put down to living life too fast/doing too much etc.

As for the rest, I didn't do conventional parenting (I did proactive rather than reactive which was seen by some as namby pamby, irresponsible, not the done thing etc) so I doubt I would have passed an application to be a parent. Don't think I have done too badly though, 2 at university, 1 going this September, not wild children, very respectful, kind, polite, well adjusted and helpful adults.

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