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Family crisis: My mum and my best friends mum have left their husbands for each other

So as you can see by the title now, I am in shock. Total shock.

I have to make it clear, I am not against homosexuality in the slightest, but it is the betrayal to my father and our family.

So my Mum revealed to my father, then to me and my brother that she fell in love with my best friends Mum. They have been having an affair for 6 years now. They have been on holidays and weekends away together but clearly there was an alterior motive to this.

I can't believe it. My father is devestated, and so is my best friends father. It ended up causing a huge fight between me and my best friend. So many emotions have been all over the place.

What makes it worse is they don't keep their relationship private. People in my year at sixth form have said they saw my Mum and her Mum snogging in the cinema, holdig hands in tescos, and so on. Me and my best friend are the butt of everyones jokes. It is humiliating. Not to mention the shock and devestation caused to my family.

My mum and her mum are already looking at a flat together, and getting married.

How do I deal with the humiliation, anger, hurt and betrayal? Am I being unreasonable to ask them to tone it down in public where my friends can see? They are all over each other 24/7!!!

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Original post by Anonymous
So as you can see by the title now, I am in shock. Total shock.

I have to make it clear, I am not against homosexuality in the slightest, but it is the betrayal to my father and our family.

So my Mum revealed to my father, then to me and my brother that she fell in love with my best friends Mum. They have been having an affair for 6 years now. They have been on holidays and weekends away together but clearly there was an alterior motive to this.

I can't believe it. My father is devestated, and so is my best friends father. It ended up causing a huge fight between me and my best friend. So many emotions have been all over the place.

What makes it worse is they don't keep their relationship private. People in my year at sixth form have said they saw my Mum and her Mum snogging in the cinema, holdig hands in tescos, and so on. Me and my best friend are the butt of everyones jokes. It is humiliating. Not to mention the shock and devestation caused to my family.

My mum and her mum are already looking at a flat together, and getting married.

How do I deal with the humiliation, anger, hurt and betrayal? Am I being unreasonable to ask them to tone it down in public where my friends can see? They are all over each other 24/7!!!


Just be happy for them
Reply 3
Original post by niteninja1
Just be happy for them


So much easier said than when you are in the family and feel pushed aside or insignificant/that your family has been broken apart to satisfy what appears to be pure sentiment
Original post by XavierMyshkin
So much easier said than when you are in the family and feel pushed aside or insignificant/that your family has been broken apart to satisfy what appears to be pure sentiment


Do you not want your mum to be happy
Reply 5
Original post by niteninja1
Do you not want your mum to be happy


haha you are acting like it is my situation!

But I would feel my mother was being selfish if my siblings, father and I had to suffer so she could indulge in a relationship.
Original post by niteninja1
Do you not want your mum to be happy


So it's okay for her MOTHER to cheat on her husband and children for another woman, and basically flip her sexuality around (unless she's bi)?

This is a complete betrayal of trust and love and the promises made. Was so selfish of her.
Reply 7
Original post by niteninja1
Personally I think monogamy is unnatural anyway.


You're not helping in any way.
Original post by niteninja1
Personally I think monogamy is unnatural anyway.


So is heart surgery and other life saving procedures, yet we still practice those? I'm gonna assume you know what promises are made when you marry someone, and that this woman clearly broke them.
Poor you and your father. :frown:
You did nothing wrong, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Give your father support and you will help each other through this period. You just need to accept this is something that has happened and move on. Over time, the hurt and betrayal will soothe and the immature trolls will stop with their jokes.
I am so sorry you have to deal with something like that. It's pretty hard and I can't even imagine.
Talk to your mother and her new girlfriend and tell them what you feel. You shouldn't cut your cords with her but she needs to understand that it's hard on you, your bestfriend and they should be respectful if they want respect as well.
Support your father. You and your brother try to do things with him, all together, have fun. You need to be there for each other, stick together. The pain will start to fade and the wound will eventually heal, with time and love.
Forget what others say. I know it's easier said than done but people are always going to joke, judge, share unwanted and unnecessary opinions even if you were the most perfect person or family in the world. Stay true to yourself and just forget about them.
I wish I could help more, I feel for you. But everything will get better. Sending you love xx
Original post by Anonymous
So as you can see by the title now, I am in shock. Total shock.

I have to make it clear, I am not against homosexuality in the slightest, but it is the betrayal to my father and our family.

So my Mum revealed to my father, then to me and my brother that she fell in love with my best friends Mum. They have been having an affair for 6 years now. They have been on holidays and weekends away together but clearly there was an alterior motive to this.

I can't believe it. My father is devestated, and so is my best friends father. It ended up causing a huge fight between me and my best friend. So many emotions have been all over the place.

What makes it worse is they don't keep their relationship private. People in my year at sixth form have said they saw my Mum and her Mum snogging in the cinema, holdig hands in tescos, and so on. Me and my best friend are the butt of everyones jokes. It is humiliating. Not to mention the shock and devestation caused to my family.

My mum and her mum are already looking at a flat together, and getting married.

How do I deal with the humiliation, anger, hurt and betrayal? Am I being unreasonable to ask them to tone it down in public where my friends can see? They are all over each other 24/7!!!


Is this trolling, or for real?
if this was happening to me id kick mum out and have no contact with her whatsoever. side with my dad on everything.
It's bad that she kept it as a secret and basically cheated but what if her love for your father faded away? Is she supposed to live in a relationship without love? The whole marriage thing is so overrated.. On the other hand, it's a bit selfish of you to say that your mother and her fling should be less visible in public, it's not for you to decide who can do it, it's up to her and if she wants it, she's entitled to.
I am so sorry this has happened to your family. Obviously you love your mum and want her to be happy but she really needs to take into account everyone else's feelings. Speak to her and explain how much hurt she's caused the rest of the family, you're getting teased at school and have lost your best friend, plus your father is heartbroken. If she has any respect for the rest of you, she needs to stop flaunting it.
Original post by Anonymous
So as you can see by the title now, I am in shock. Total shock.

I have to make it clear, I am not against homosexuality in the slightest, but it is the betrayal to my father and our family.

So my Mum revealed to my father, then to me and my brother that she fell in love with my best friends Mum. They have been having an affair for 6 years now. They have been on holidays and weekends away together but clearly there was an alterior motive to this.

I can't believe it. My father is devestated, and so is my best friends father. It ended up causing a huge fight between me and my best friend. So many emotions have been all over the place.

What makes it worse is they don't keep their relationship private. People in my year at sixth form have said they saw my Mum and her Mum snogging in the cinema, holdig hands in tescos, and so on. Me and my best friend are the butt of everyones jokes. It is humiliating. Not to mention the shock and devastation caused to my family.

My mum and her mum are already looking at a flat together, and getting married.

How do I deal with the humiliation, anger, hurt and betrayal? Am I being unreasonable to ask them to tone it down in public where my friends can see? They are all over each other 24/7!!!


I am really sorry to hear this. I just saw your message and immediately felt devastated. You need someone to talk to and I will be that person. Are u in year 12? Or year 13? Because I wouldn't want this problem to distract u from ur exams.the students have no right to make jokes when they do not understand ur position. I understand the crap you are going through and u certainly dont deserve this. I will say more but right now I am in form so I will have to go.
That's awful. The most I can say is to try not to take it out on your best friend. She(?) is probably the only one who knows what you're going through. It'll be good to have someone to share the burden with rather than dealing with all that on your own.

I can't stop people from being immature :innocent::innocent::innocent::innocent::innocent::innocent::innocent:s, but if you get frustrated you can slide into my PM's and rant about it.
That's some next level drama
rah i feel for you this gay hoe be cheating on ur blood. tbh the whole thing about ur mum being the butt head of jokes can just be flipped around cuz she aint ur mum no more so if you cant beat em join em or you can pull off some next level dramatic act in front the people who make jokes about ur mum by crying & complaining about the whole situation out loud - this s h i t should shock em silly and they'll be more realistic about the situation ur in.
Reply 19
Original post by niteninja1
Do you not want your mum to be happy


She/he never said that. Of course they want their mum to be happy! But, how can they be optimistic about this situation when their family is falling apart, and to make matters worse she's being bullied in school about it! Not much to be optimistic about there. How can you not help but feel slightly betrayed by this?
(edited 6 years ago)

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