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Really strict parents

I'm 18 and have really strict parents. im not allowed out, not allowed a phone, not allowed to do my eyebrows, not allowed to wear makeup, always have to wear clothes my mum wants, always expected to do college work, always have to be home really early from school cos if im only a minute late they get really suspicious etc.
I used to think my parents were doing it for the best, but i'm getting older and i wish they were more lenient with me cos its slowly depressing me how im never allowed to do anything - while all my friends are out having fun im sat inside just doing chores or homework.
i would say that moving out for uni would be an option but i have a year left till uni and a year would mean an even longer wait-idk what to do because i really wish they werent so harsh on me
(edited 6 years ago)

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Reply 1
Maybe sit down and tell them how you feel? Say you're getting older and you feel with more responsibility comes more leniency?
Reply 2
Original post by Eilidhsimon
Maybe sit down and tell them how you feel? Say you're getting older and you feel with more responsibility comes more leniency?


I've tried that before, they dont seem to listen to me and just call me spoilt cos i want freedom:/
Original post by mads49839
I'm 18 and have really strict parents. im not allowed out, not allowed a phone, not allowed to do my eyebrows, not allowed to wear makeup, always have to wear clothes my mum wants, always expected to do college work etc.
I used to think my parents were doing it for the best, but i'm getting older and i wish they were more lenient with me cos its slowly depressing me how im never allowed to do anything - while all my friends are out having fun im sat inside just doing chores or homework.
i would say that moving out for uni would be an option but i have a year left till uni and a year would mean an even longer wait-idk what to do because i really wish they werent so harsh on me


i mean obviously they think its for the best, but...i mean try and negociate with the more lenient parent and be like, and try to at least get a phone lol
be like, i really do respect and love the way ive been raised and how uve protected me from bad things etc..., but things like a phone its a nessesity i need it wen im at college and wen i go to university, id love to think you trust me and the trust the way youve bought me up to be responsible with a phone. i mean i know u have nnnnnd build up from that lol
Reply 4
Original post by Kaneki Ken
i mean obviously they think its for the best, but...i mean try and negociate with the more lenient parent and be like, and try to at least get a phone lol
be like, i really do respect and love the way ive been raised and how uve protected me from bad things etc..., but things like a phone its a nessesity i need it wen im at college and wen i go to university, id love to think you trust me and the trust the way youve bought me up to be responsible with a phone. i mean i know u have nnnnnd build up from that lol


i used to have a phone but there was no point cos theyd just check it all the time tbh and go through all my messages, when my phone broke they wouldnt let me get a new one
Original post by mads49839
i used to have a phone but there was no point cos theyd just check it all the time tbh and go through all my messages, when my phone broke they wouldnt let me get a new one

i dunno man, i mean best thing you can do is talk to them, ive strict parents i guess, but the trust is there, u have to tell them that, in a polite manner like dont raise ur voice or anything cos...theyre still ur parents, but do explain how ur feeling quiet let down with the fact they obviously dont trust u or their upbringing to be looking through your fone etc,,,,
Reply 6
Original post by mads49839
I'm 18 and have really strict parents. im not allowed out, not allowed a phone, not allowed to do my eyebrows, not allowed to wear makeup, always have to wear clothes my mum wants, always expected to do college work, always have to be home really early from school cos if im only a minute late they get really suspicious etc.
I used to think my parents were doing it for the best, but i'm getting older and i wish they were more lenient with me cos its slowly depressing me how im never allowed to do anything - while all my friends are out having fun im sat inside just doing chores or homework.
i would say that moving out for uni would be an option but i have a year left till uni and a year would mean an even longer wait-idk what to do because i really wish they werent so harsh on me


there are ways around the things youre mentioning- you could try taking makeup with you to college, wearing it there and washing it off before you get home? and if you want to go out, you could always come up with an excuse saying youre going to the library etc, or if you have an early finish from college just go out then and come back in time for when you have to be home. i know this stuff seems like a massive effort but you only have a year left till uni so it'll do for now I guess, it'll stop you feeling crap cos you'll be doing some stuff atleast and then when you move out for uni just do what you want
Reply 7
Original post by kat7901
there are ways around the things youre mentioning- you could try taking makeup with you to college, wearing it there and washing it off before you get home? and if you want to go out, you could always come up with an excuse saying youre going to the library etc, or if you have an early finish from college just go out then and come back in time for when you have to be home. i know this stuff seems like a massive effort but you only have a year left till uni so it'll do for now I guess, it'll stop you feeling crap cos you'll be doing some stuff atleast and then when you move out for uni just do what you want


i used to hide my makeup in the house but my mum found it so theres no way for me to get away with makeup anymore-she always checks my school bags and knows all my hiding places in the house:/ i used to go out after college but sometimes id run late for home and go waaaay over the time im meant to be home because of bus and tram traffic etc, so it was too risky to go out secretly again cos i got in loads of trouble for it and they werent believing in my excuses anymore:/ plus theres hardly any time to go out after college considering the time i have to be home, its all just really peak tbh
Original post by mads49839
I'm 18 and have really strict parents. im not allowed out, not allowed a phone, not allowed to do my eyebrows, not allowed to wear makeup, always have to wear clothes my mum wants, always expected to do college work, always have to be home really early from school cos if im only a minute late they get really suspicious etc.
I used to think my parents were doing it for the best, but i'm getting older and i wish they were more lenient with me cos its slowly depressing me how im never allowed to do anything - while all my friends are out having fun im sat inside just doing chores or homework.
i would say that moving out for uni would be an option but i have a year left till uni and a year would mean an even longer wait-idk what to do because i really wish they werent so harsh on me


Are you Asian and/or Muslim by any chance?
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
Are you Asian and/or Muslim by any chance?


yeah i am
Original post by mads49839
yeah i am


I think the best thing to do would be to live with it for now and then just live out at uni. If they start complaining just tell them it is an all girls place or halls. Asian parents are just like that, they'll never change. :frown:
Original post by Anonymous
I think the best thing to do would be to live with it for now and then just live out at uni. If they start complaining just tell them it is an all girls place or halls. Asian parents are just like that, they'll never change. :frown:


thats not true thou, im arab muslim (so..asian lol)
generaly speaking parent are really strict but they trust their kids
Drop religion, get kicked out of the house. Easy peasy <3
Original post by Somepersonhere
Drop religion, get kicked out of the house. Easy peasy <3


Based on experience lol?
Original post by RoyalSheepy
Based on experience lol?


Npoe, but strict muslim parents will kick you out
Original post by Somepersonhere
Npoe, but strict muslim parents will kick you out


But that could be said for any strict parents, any religion.
Original post by mads49839
I'm 18 and have really strict parents. im not allowed out, not allowed a phone, not allowed to do my eyebrows, not allowed to wear makeup, always have to wear clothes my mum wants, always expected to do college work, always have to be home really early from school cos if im only a minute late they get really suspicious etc.
I used to think my parents were doing it for the best, but i'm getting older and i wish they were more lenient with me cos its slowly depressing me how im never allowed to do anything - while all my friends are out having fun im sat inside just doing chores or homework.
i would say that moving out for uni would be an option but i have a year left till uni and a year would mean an even longer wait-idk what to do because i really wish they werent so harsh on me


That's really bad. Sorry to hear. Parents shouldn't be like that. My dad was different to my mum and my dad had to agree on the way my mum tried to bring me up. But honestly seeing fights at home I thought the best for me was to bring myself up. When they tell me how to dress or when to come back from school i totally rebel against it. Now they've stopped because I knew I wasn't doing anything bad and also they understand that too. They always go around calling me a girl with a pure heart and intentions. I don't take advantage of the freedom. You should honestly speak up and it's bad/advice but I suggest you do the opposite to what they say. In the end they'll give up.. it may ruin your relationship at home with them but you don't need people who don't let you live YOUR life the WAY YOU want to. Good luck!


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My parents were quite strict when I was growing up. As a child, I was never allowed to go out with my friends, wear make up, have a mobile phone, or go anywhere else out of town. I always felt left out at school because I never did popular things or go to parties. When I was 16, my parents allowed to go out to parties, but only really trusted friends and no sleepovers. When I was 18, I went to university, and suddenly I had the freedom to do anything, and when I went back home for holidays, my parents were more relaxed in their rules. When I ask my mother about her strict rules now, she says she only did it out of love. She wanted me to work hard and do well in life, no distractions, it was her way of caring. Your parents are probably the same, they want the best for you. They will get less strict as you get older, but at the moment, you are still living with them day to day, so you have to live under their rules. Stick it out to uni. I think when you go to uni they will miss you very much!
i can totally relate with with u!
Would they let u do yur driving test and get a car? cos that would mean so much more freedom for u. My parents are super strict but they're letting me do my driving test as soon as im 17 :smile:
Original post by mads49839
I'm 18 and have really strict parents. im not allowed out, not allowed a phone, not allowed to do my eyebrows, not allowed to wear makeup, always have to wear clothes my mum wants, always expected to do college work, always have to be home really early from school cos if im only a minute late they get really suspicious etc.
I used to think my parents were doing it for the best, but i'm getting older and i wish they were more lenient with me cos its slowly depressing me how im never allowed to do anything - while all my friends are out having fun im sat inside just doing chores or homework.
i would say that moving out for uni would be an option but i have a year left till uni and a year would mean an even longer wait-idk what to do because i really wish they werent so harsh on me


How are you spoilt asking for freedom?
My parents used to be very strict, until I "accidently" threatened to report them for child abuse!

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