AQA 9-1 GCSE English Language Example Answer

Can anyone mark/grade my answer and give me feedback on what to improve on to achieve maximum marks, would be appreciated! It's Question 2, of Paper 2 but is an question from a CGP revision guide.

Q2. Read the Following extracts. Source A is from a housekeeping magazine written in the 19th century, and Source B is a newspaper article that was written in the 21st century. Use details from both sources. Write a summary of the differences between the views given in Source A and Source B.

Source A:
The secret to a harmonious marriage lies in the willingness of the wife to be amenable to the needs of the husband. A good wife will not pester her husband, nor will she bore him with gossip or domestic trivialities. Instead, she will endeavor to be sweet and charming, always fulfilling his needs. If he wishes to complain, she should listen; if he seeks quiet, she should be silent. The home is her sphere, and she should strive to make it a haven for him, in which he need not lift a finger.

Source B:
In the 21st century, a marriage is a partnership of equal. Today, it is common for both members of a couple to work full-time. This means that it is essential for domestic responsibilities to be shared evenly too. Whilst housework was once considered the domain of women, most women today should spurn the idea that they should work full-time and take sole care of a home. Men are just as capable of cleaning and cooking as women, and fortunately many modern husbands have realized this crucial fact.

Answer:

In source A, the writer has succumbed to the stereotypical ideals of a typical 19th century society, presenting the role of the wife to be present within the domestic "sphere", obeying the requirements of her husband. The biased perspective of how a "harmonious" relationship is achieved through a woman commending herself to the domestic sphere portrays a weaker role of the female in the household, as she is supposedly required to devote herself to household activities. The negatively connoted verbs such as "pester" and "bore" is sharply juxtaposed with the higher role of the husband, as he is permitted to do as he "wishes". There are evident differences and inequalities between the role of the husband and wife; in the 19th century the woman is considered the nemesis behind a failing marriage.

Whereas, in source B, the writer takes a modern approach, eliminating any inequalities between the supposed ideal roles as presented in source A. The communion itself is demonstrated to be a "partnership of equals", sharply contrasting to the inequalities of source A. The role of the female is seemingly more acknowledged and women are considered more capable through the perspective of the writer of source B. The wife is not expected to remain in the "domestic" household, as it is more "common" for both husband and wife to work full-time. There is a clear difference initiated as the writer of source B suggests that it is "essential" for domestic tasks to be "shared evenly", whereas the writer of source A portrays the role of the woman to be solely devoted to her domestic "sphere", obeying the needs of her husband.

you would definitely get either full marks or 7/8
maybe suggest the ornamental concepts that a women should undermine whilst "fulfilling his needs" thus suggesting the degrading characteristics women were expressed to occupy, whilst source b demonstrates the equality between both genders as are both expected to insinuate similar attitudes towards domestic chores.
you could also writer on the difference In attitudes the writers have- as source a strives to suggest the distinct characteristics that the genders have thus opposing each other in terms of qualities etc. resulting in the writer to express similar views as of a 19th century society. just follow this on I guess x

Okay, first let's look at what you get marked on in AQA
AO1 Identify and interpret explicit and implicit information and ideas. Select and synthesise evidence from different texts.

AO2  Explain, comment on and analyse how writers use language and structureto achieve effects and influence readers, using relevant subject terminology to support their views.

AO3  Compare writers’ ideas and perspectives, as well as how these areconveyed, across two or more texts.

AO4  Evaluate texts critically and support this with appropriate textual references.

My notes will be in brackets

(Introduction, critical AO4) In source A, the writer has succumbed to the stereotypical ideals of a typical 19th century society, presenting the role of the wife to be present within the domestic "sphere", obeying the requirements of her husband.

(Expansion on AO4, AO1 achieved) The biased perspective of how a "harmonious" relationship is achieved through a woman commending herself to the domestic sphere portrays a weaker role of the female in the household, as she is supposedly required to devote herself to household activities.

(AO2) The negatively connoted verbs such as "pester" and "bore" is sharply juxtaposed with the higher role of the husband, as he is permitted to do as he "wishes". There are evident differences and inequalities between the role of the husband and wife; in the 19th century the woman is considered the nemesis behind a failing marriage.

(AO4, AO1, AO3 met) Whereas, in source B, the writer takes a modern approach, eliminating any inequalities between the supposed ideal roles as presented in source A. The communion itself is demonstrated to be a "partnership of equals", sharply contrasting to the inequalities of source A. The role of the female is seemingly more acknowledged and women are considered more capable through the perspective of the writer of source B. The wife is not expected to remain in the "domestic" household, as it is more "common" for both husband and wife to work full-time.

(AO3, vague AO2) There is a clear difference initiated as the writer of source B suggests that it is "essential" for domestic tasks to be "shared evenly", whereas the writer of source A portrays the role of the woman to be solely devoted to her domestic "sphere", obeying the needs of her husband.

You have all the AO's but as you can see, the AO that is inconsistent within the text is AO2 as you make references to the text rather than "relevant subject terminology" which is basically language devices, this can get you penalised by examiners in english language, you can get penalised for up to 1-2 marks depending on your examiner, so I'm predicting 6/7 marks for this one

she will not get penalised due to question two in paper 2 not assessing AO2 OR AO3 OR A04 but only AO1- responding to the text using evidential points to express the differences

Is it required to analyse the structure too? I was unsure about using subject terminology since it didn't specify in the question so I ended up briefly analyzing it.

Yeah that's what I assumed