my boyfriend's mother calle d and she ****ing roasted me - should I tell him

She called, and invited us to some kind of 'family bbq' next week. I said we cant come because we have other plans (i wasn't lying).We got into a fight and she said some really nasty stuff apparently im ruining her son's life because
I'm a 'gold digger' who is using him for his money (well she didnt say this directly but not so subtly suggested it)
im a bad influence
i make him unhappy because i 'pretend' to be depressed, and in reality im just lazy
i try to 'isolate' him from the family
he always wanted (ACCORDING TO HER) to have a REAL family - wife and kids (m pretty sure he's gay af, but he always lies about it and claims to be bi)

She never really liked me and thats fineBut seriously, this? she didnt sound drunk or anything so im pretty sure she meant every word. Im not perfect but she doesnt know **** about me or my feelings. He's not some frigging vulnerable teen, he's older than me and he knew what he wa s getting himself into

What i need advice with is - should i tell him about what she said to me or not? i mean, if i do, he will probably have a fight with her, and thats going to make things even worse, right?

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Reply 1

butfirst_coffee

hmm....sticky situation. Ask him if he feels this way and tell him that his mum said so.
Tell him not to mention it to his mother because yes, that will make things worse and it'll just give her another excuse to taunt you..

in any case, if you already know that he loves you and he's okay with the relationship. You can just ignore the mum.

Reply 2

butfirst_coffee

and has she displayed this sort of disapproval with your relationship before this? like when you first starting dating?

Reply 3

TheAlchemistress

Sounds like Godzilla.

Reply 4

username1201943

Judging by how you come across on here.. can't blame her

Soz not soz

Reply 5

Ciel.

Original post by butfirst_coffee

Oh he'd definitely have a word with her. we have our ups and downs but he can be kinda overprotective sometimes. So yeah maybe I should just ignore it eh

Original post by te159311

Step 1, acquire a paper bag ,dog **** and a lighter
Step 2, place **** in bag and set alight
Step 3, place outside her doorstep and ring bell
Step 4, Run

........... :colonhash:

Original post by butfirst_coffee

and has she displayed this sort of disapproval with your relationship before this? like when you first starting dating?

yeah. but never like that. and not all at once lol

Reply 6

ganache

You sound like a selfish dick and you're only with him for your own gain, doubt you care about him. I hope he hurts you and cheats with a girl or something.

Reply 7

Annahelmis

Original post by Ciel.

'I'm pretty sure he's gay af but lies about it and claims to be bi' no wonder his mum ****ing hates you. If you think he's 'gay af' then do the poor guy and his mum a favour and sod off

Reply 8

Ciel.

Original post by UnknownRoyalist

Judging by how you come across on here.. can't blame her

Soz not soz

'how you come across on here.' - well, how? do tell.

Original post by ganache

You sound like a selfish dick and you're only with him for your own gain, doubt you care about him. I hope he hurts you and cheats with a girl or something.

thanks, exactly what i needed to hear. you are the best <3

Original post by Annahelmis

Definitely talk to your boyfriend about this. If he doesn't believe you and takes his mum's side in the matter without listening to you then you know that they're the type of people you don't want to be involved with and leave

pretty sure he would believe me. but i think telling him will make things worse. like, they will argue too, etc

Reply 9

Angry Bird

she might be right you know maybe she just wants to protect her son

Reply 10

Ciel.

Original post by Annahelmis

'I'm pretty sure he's gay af but lies about it and claims to be bi' no wonder his mum ****ing hates you. If you think he's 'gay af' then do the poor guy and his mum a favour and sod off

What's wrong with that? He seriously doesnt seem very interested in women. He prefers dicks, how is that my fault?

Reply 11

ganache

Original post by Ciel.

thanks, exactly what i needed to hear. you are the best <3

No problem, you reek of arrogance and general self superiority, Ive heard **** are often jealous of bis.

Reply 12

Annahelmis

Original post by Ciel.

What's wrong with that? He seriously doesnt seem very interested in women. He prefers dicks, how is that my fault?

I never said it was your fault. The insensitive way you phrase things makes you sound like an *******. Maybe he's figuring out his sexuality which can be a hard and complex time for people and the last thing they need is ignorant ****s like you presuming it for them.

Reply 13

Reality Check

Original post by UnknownRoyalist

Judging by how you come across on here.. can't blame her

Soz not soz

More drama...

Reply 14

Ciel.

Original post by Angry Bird

she might be right you know maybe she just wants to protect her son

Right about what, exactly?sShe's a goddamn liar,a paranoid one at that

Original post by ganache

No problem, you reek of arrogance and general self superiority, Ive heard **** are often jealous of bis.

Uhmm, no, I'm not 'jealous'

Reply 15

1secondsofvamps

In a thread you posted a while ago you said that you don't work meaning you rely on him financially. Therefore, that's probably why you come across as a "gold digger" to her

Reply 16

Ciel.

Original post by Annahelmis

because im angry and upset i guess... oh i dont think thats what hes doing. seriously, hes in his mid 20s. i think she just cant accept the fact that she wont have any grandchildren

Original post by Reality Check

More drama...

Yeah. But im not the one creating it ; < idk i just seem to attract negativity

Reply 17

username1201943

Original post by Reality Check

More drama...

Definitely, whether it's true or not is a different story - I suspect it's just another attention craving attempt

Reply 18

Ciel.

Original post by 1secondsofvamps

In a thread you posted a while ago you said that you don't work meaning you rely on him financially. Therefore, that's probably why you come across as a "gold digger" to her

Yeah, I do now. but i used to work, too

Original post by UnknownRoyalist

Definitely, whether it's true or not is a different story - I suspect it's just another attention craving attempt

oh i wish it was lol

Reply 19

999tigger

If it were me, then I might take a step back from all the drama, talk to her and mend some bridges. It looks like you have taken him away from her and she was making an effort to have you over which you rejected. I'm all for a quiet life and id rather get on with people than not.

Its up to you how you wnat to live your life though, shes still his mum.