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Mum wants/forcing me to take the hijab off - help!

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@h333 jazakallah khair, I have I continue to be respectful to them and everything, I just hope they understand my point of view
Original post by Anonymous
But she'd stop talking to me or something lol, and get the rest of my family to keep putting pressure on me to take it off, even my dad is trying to get me to take it off, the think that I'm not happy and I'm not living my life properly as I should in this age e.g. Going out with boys wearing what I want etc


Salam sis,
As muslims we are required to obey our parents, as jannah lies under our mothers feet/due to respect. However as muslims we should we well aware that if our parents are requesting us to do something that goes against Islam we are not required to obey them, and there will be no sin in doing so. Remember the hijab is for allah, and in continuing to wear it you are stenghning your iman and bond with Allah SWT. Inshallah this will be an example to your parents, may Allah guide them as well. Remember, with hardship comes ease, so consider this a test from Allah. Inshallah Allah makes it easy for you.
Original post by (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ
The "I'm old enough to do what I want" argument comes of as rebellious and tiny bit rude, I would think you'd be better off trying to get her to see it from the viewpoint you've given me, explain how you feel it helps you to hold better values and go from there.

If she still doesn't warm up to the idea of it then I wouldn't let that stop you, if you truly feel that by wearing the hijab it helps to make you a better person then by all means continue to do so, whether she approves with it or not.


Ive tried but they just won't listen, her aim is for me to take it off by the end of summer after holiday
Original post by Anonymous
Hey basically I started to wear the scarf last year, I was never too religious, like always been moderate. I'm not the best of Muslims, like I've had boyfriends and stuff (before wearing it). I decided to wear it because I felt that if I was going to wearing when I'm older I might aswell start wearing it and it may help me to become a better person- and it really has. Now my mum is putting constant pressure on me to take it off and somewhat forcing me, and don't want to because I actually don't mind wearing it, she feels like I'm "not living my life" and "it's too early" I know that many of you will find it weird, but coming from a North African background doesn't mean that we're like strict full on Muslims. I really don't want to take it off and I've spoken to her many times about it but she's the type to always get her word down, I really don't know what to do!
Thanks


Hi sister, that sounds like you're in a sticky situation! Its so great to hear that you've built up the courage to wear the hijab as the first step to becoming better is to take the first steps. I guess she is your mum and you have to respect her the way you've tried to convince her nicely is a good thing, but just remember that you will be accountable for the actions which you take in your life, if you feel that it is the right thing for your deen (which it deffo is!) then you really cant be swayed by what anyone thinks. Make dua that your mum understands you and understands the importance of hijab inshallah. Its normal to face struggles whilst doing something for the sake of Allah but dont let it put you off..it only makes your faith stronger! The only person accountable for the sins and deeds you do is yourself you cant blame it on anyone else for making you do something..hope that makes sense..kinda :h::wink:
Original post by Anonymous
Ive tried but they just won't listen, her aim is for me to take it off by the end of summer after holiday


Stand your ground and keep trying to get her to see your viewpoint, if it's important to you then continue to wear it, unless she intends to forcefully remove it herself there's not much she can do to stop you from wearing it.
Reply 45
Original post by Anonymous
Ive tried but they just won't listen, her aim is for me to take it off by the end of summer after holiday


Don't ever give in.
Reply 46
Original post by Anonymous
@h333 jazakallah khair, I have I continue to be respectful to them and everything, I just hope they understand my point of view


BaarakAllahu Feeki (may Allah bless you)
Insha'Allah (God willing) they will with the help of Allah (swt)
Just keep trying and be patient.
Thank you so much everyone! Insh'allah she understands and respects my descision.
Reply 48
OP feel free to pm me if you want btw :smile:
Reply 49
Take it off and be proud of your mum.
Original post by (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ
I have no issue with it, and at no point have I told her to stop wearing it, I'm just enquiring into why she feels that she has to wear it to be a better version of herself.


Your argument is like saying women shouldn't wear makeup to increase their self esteem. If your not here to give actual advice to her then I suggest you lay off giving your half thought out arguments
Keep it on and be proud that you are brave enough to wear it x
Original post by Anonymous
Your argument is like saying women shouldn't wear makeup to increase their self esteem. If your not here to give actual advice to her then I suggest you lay off giving your half thought out arguments


You wear makeup to boost you're confidence not to remind yourself to not be a b**** towards other people.

Keep reading through the thread and you'll see that I have given my own input on the OP's issue that I view as constructive, whether or not she takes it into account is up to her.
Original post by _gcx
If you want to wear it, wear it.

If it gives you "comfort" I'd encourage you to do so.


What is this sorcery. No islamaphobic comments today?
Stay strong OP sister.

The more you struggle in the way of Allah (swt) the more reward there will be. Think of it as a blessing that he places burden on you so that you may seek nearness to him.
Original post by butfirst_coffee
What is this sorcery. No islamaphobic comments today?


I have never spoke ill of someone due to their religion, ever. Sure, I've stated my dislike for Islam but I have never attacked Muslims purely for being Muslim. It would be rather childish; and, I'm frankly taken aback by individuals who seem to think that I dislike Muslims personally.
(edited 6 years ago)
coming from a north african background myself i've experienced people telling me that i'm too young or as a teenage girl i should be dressing up doing my hair "living my life" (i wore it when i was 12) but i think it's just a north african thing. like half the girls in algeria don't wear it but it doesn't make them not religious and the ones that do aren't the most religious either. living your life and obeying and worshipping god aren't mutually exclusive and you should explain to your mum that it's your choice and that our culture doesn't beat religion
Original post by Anonymous
Hey basically I started to wear the scarf last year, I was never too religious, like always been moderate. I'm not the best of Muslims, like I've had boyfriends and stuff (before wearing it). I decided to wear it because I felt that if I was going to wearing when I'm older I might aswell start wearing it and it may help me to become a better person- and it really has. Now my mum is putting constant pressure on me to take it off and somewhat forcing me, and don't want to because I actually don't mind wearing it, she feels like I'm "not living my life" and "it's too early" I know that many of you will find it weird, but coming from a North African background doesn't mean that we're like strict full on Muslims. I really don't want to take it off and I've spoken to her many times about it but she's the type to always get her word down, I really don't know what to do!
Thanks
It is your decision whether you should wear a scarf or not! Don't let anyone peer pressure you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.
I'm guessing if you went back to the country your parents/grandparents/great grandparents came from you would have no choice but to wear it. So take it of as a sign of your liberation.

But ultimately its your choice so do what you want.
Thank you, hopefully she understands xx
Original post by Anonymous
Hi sister, that sounds like you're in a sticky situation! Its so great to hear that you've built up the courage to wear the hijab as the first step to becoming better is to take the first steps. I guess she is your mum and you have to respect her the way you've tried to convince her nicely is a good thing, but just remember that you will be accountable for the actions which you take in your life, if you feel that it is the right thing for your deen (which it deffo is!) then you really cant be swayed by what anyone thinks. Make dua that your mum understands you and understands the importance of hijab inshallah. Its normal to face struggles whilst doing something for the sake of Allah but dont let it put you off..it only makes your faith stronger! The only person accountable for the sins and deeds you do is yourself you cant blame it on anyone else for making you do something..hope that makes sense..kinda :h::wink:

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