What grade would you give this An Inspector Calls Paragraph

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Cod3tte
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#1
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Hi, before I begin please don't give it a high grade just to be nice, if it deserves a high grade give it a high grade if it doesn't don't give it a high grade. Also, please, explain why you gave me that grade and what I could do to improve. By the way I'm in Y9.

The question:
How is the Inspector presented in An Inspector Calls?

My Answer:
First of all, the inspector is presented as dominant. In the play when the Birling family begin to argue, the inspector stops it from escalating any futher according this quote from the playscript: "(taking charge masterfully) stop! (they are all suddenly quiet and staring at him)". The adverb "masterfully" shows that the inspector has the ability to control a situtation and was not afraid of the argument, unlike Sheila who according to her stage direction: "(frightened)", meaning she was scared. Also the adverb "suddenly" shows that the Birling family responded to the Inspector's demand immediately, which suggests they may fear him due to the fact he is rather dominant. Prehaps Priestley, the playwright made the inspector dominant so the Birling family and the audience took him and the working class people seriously. If the playwright made the inspector a comical character the Birling family and the audience would have not taken the death of Eva Smith seriously, and this would have made Mr Birling - who is seen as a foolish character - look wise and righteous. Therefore, the capitalists would have been seen as the heroes rather than the inspector and the socialist would have been seen as the fools. Nobody in the Birling family would have learnt their lesson and Eva Smith would have been made into a mockery.
[end of my answer]
Thank you for reading!
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Reality Check
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(Original post by Cod3tte)
Hi, before I begin please don't give it a high grade just to be nice, if it deserves a high grade give it a high grade if it doesn't don't give it a high grade. Also, please, explain why you gave me that grade and what I could do to improve. By the way I'm in Y9.

The question:
How is the Inspector presented in An Inspector Calls?

My Answer:
First of all, the inspector is presented as dominant. In the play when the Birling family begin to argue, the inspector stops it from escalating any futher according this quote from the playscript: "(taking charge masterfully) stop! (they are all suddenly quiet and staring at him)". The adverb "masterfully" shows that the inspector has the ability to control a situtation and was not afraid of the argument, unlike Sheila who according to her stage direction: "(frightened)", meaning she was scared. Also the adverb "suddenly" shows that the Birling family responded to the Inspector's demand immediately, which suggests they may fear him due to the fact he is rather dominant. Prehaps Priestley, the playwright made the inspector dominant so the Birling family and the audience took him and the working class people seriously. If the playwright made the inspector a comical character the Birling family and the audience would have not taken the death of Eva Smith seriously, and this would have made Mr Birling - who is seen as a foolish character - look wise and righteous. Therefore, the capitalists would have been seen as the heroes rather than the inspector and the socialist would have been seen as the fools. Nobody in the Birling family would have learnt their lesson and Eva Smith would have been made into a mockery.
[end of my answer]
Thank you for reading!
It's a competent response. No more, no less. I wouldn't exactly say it was 'full of insights'.
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Killerpenguin15
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(Original post by Cod3tte)
Hi, before I begin please don't give it a high grade just to be nice, if it deserves a high grade give it a high grade if it doesn't don't give it a high grade. Also, please, explain why you gave me that grade and what I could do to improve. By the way I'm in Y9.

The question:
How is the Inspector presented in An Inspector Calls?

My Answer:
First of all, the inspector is presented as dominant. In the play when the Birling family begin to argue, the inspector stops it from escalating any futher according this quote from the playscript: "(taking charge masterfully) stop! (they are all suddenly quiet and staring at him)". The adverb "masterfully" shows that the inspector has the ability to control a situtation and was not afraid of the argument, unlike Sheila who according to her stage direction: "(frightened)", meaning she was scared. Also the adverb "suddenly" shows that the Birling family responded to the Inspector's demand immediately, which suggests they may fear him due to the fact he is rather dominant. Prehaps Priestley, the playwright made the inspector dominant so the Birling family and the audience took him and the working class people seriously. If the playwright made the inspector a comical character the Birling family and the audience would have not taken the death of Eva Smith seriously, and this would have made Mr Birling - who is seen as a foolish character - look wise and righteous. Therefore, the capitalists would have been seen as the heroes rather than the inspector and the socialist would have been seen as the fools. Nobody in the Birling family would have learnt their lesson and Eva Smith would have been made into a mockery.
[end of my answer]
Thank you for reading!
In your first part try to avoid re-telling the whole story. I quite like how you've identified the underlying themes of capitalism vs socialism in the book, which is fantastic. Though I would try to back up your points about the alternate scenarios that you mentioned near the end of your paragraph with evidence from the book. Overall I would shorten down the paragraph and keep it sweet and simple to avoid over complicating your answer too.
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EdwardBarfield9
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I'd give it a dog's testicle and a slice of cheese
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math42
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I dunno about this numbers system but this seems at least an A based on the old system. Not written outstandingly, but you've analysed quotes, made your point, and tied it into the author's intention. I don't think you need to do much more than that.
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Student2416
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(Original post by Cod3tte)
Hi, before I begin please don't give it a high grade just to be nice, if it deserves a high grade give it a high grade if it doesn't don't give it a high grade. Also, please, explain why you gave me that grade and what I could do to improve. By the way I'm in Y9.

The question:
How is the Inspector presented in An Inspector Calls?

My Answer:
First of all, the inspector is presented as dominant. In the play when the Birling family begin to argue, the inspector stops it from escalating any futher according this quote from the playscript: "(taking charge masterfully) stop! (they are all suddenly quiet and staring at him)". The adverb "masterfully" shows that the inspector has the ability to control a situtation and was not afraid of the argument, unlike Sheila who according to her stage direction: "(frightened)", meaning she was scared. Also the adverb "suddenly" shows that the Birling family responded to the Inspector's demand immediately, which suggests they may fear him due to the fact he is rather dominant. Prehaps Priestley, the playwright made the inspector dominant so the Birling family and the audience took him and the working class people seriously. If the playwright made the inspector a comical character the Birling family and the audience would have not taken the death of Eva Smith seriously, and this would have made Mr Birling - who is seen as a foolish character - look wise and righteous. Therefore, the capitalists would have been seen as the heroes rather than the inspector and the socialist would have been seen as the fools. Nobody in the Birling family would have learnt their lesson and Eva Smith would have been made into a mockery.
[end of my answer]
Thank you for reading!
I think that this is a relatively good response with a clear understanding of the text, task, writers methods and context. You have picked out good quotations and identified on a word level which is well done although you should work on embedding them into your answer as this helps the response flow and appears more sophisticated. You effectively explain your points and quotations although the level of analysis of key words is quite basic and unfortunately you do not offer multiple interpretations of the devices highlighted. You made some links to contexts and what was happening at the time as well as the factors that influenced Priestley's writing, although issues such as class have not been fully explored in this paragraph it would be expected to do so elsewhere as the Inspector is seen as a classless character which intimidates the upper class Birlings who think that they should automatically have a greater presence and power due to their class and wealth whereas the Inspector breaks down these class divisions.

Assuming this response is for the AQA exam board i would award makes like this:
Point (AO1) = Fully relevant to the task and text
Evidence (AO2) = Key words identified correctly and their effects explained - not embedded and not from the whole play although it can be assumed this would be done elsewhere
Explanation of Quotations (AO2) = Clear explanations but lack of depth in analysis - should offer multiple layers of analysis on a single device throughout response
Context (AO3) = Good links to context but hopefully greater contextual factors would be discussed in greater depth elsewhere although here good links have been made
Priestley (AO1/2/3) = You briefly discussed his intentions on the inspector being serious rather than comical but you should in other paragraphs also discuss the idea that Priestley wanted audiences to demand social change and that the inspector is essentially a mouthpiece for his views on society and how he himself wanted social reform in order to prevent more deaths of girls like Eva Smith - who represents the whole working class
Effect On Audience (AO2) = No discussion of the audience which is quite significant

Overall - The response is clear and consistent. It takes a focused look at the task and text with relevent evidence to back up points in order demonstrate understanding of the play. There are clear explanations of Priestley's methods but no link to their effect on the audience which affects AO2 mark. There is a simple but clear understanding of the context of the play. Quotations are relevant but not embedded which makes the response slightly less sophisticated. Analysis is basic and should be developed further.

18/30 (+ 4/4 SPG)
Grade 6
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Sabz152
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Hi,
It's a good attempt but make sure you're really focused on analysis. Also, avoid the cycle of 'if this happened then that would have happened which means that this couldn't have happened.....' For year 9 it's good but the depth of analysis and sophisticated points need to be made. I recommend you use Mr salles YouTube videos to improve he's brilliant and Mr Bruff also does some good ones.

(Original post by Cod3tte)
Hi, before I begin please don't give it a high grade just to be nice, if it deserves a high grade give it a high grade if it doesn't don't give it a high grade. Also, please, explain why you gave me that grade and what I could do to improve. By the way I'm in Y9.

The question:
How is the Inspector presented in An Inspector Calls?

My Answer:
First of all, the inspector is presented as dominant. In the play when the Birling family begin to argue, the inspector stops it from escalating any futher according this quote from the playscript: "(taking charge masterfully) stop! (they are all suddenly quiet and staring at him)". The adverb "masterfully" shows that the inspector has the ability to control a situtation and was not afraid of the argument, unlike Sheila who according to her stage direction: "(frightened)", meaning she was scared. Also the adverb "suddenly" shows that the Birling family responded to the Inspector's demand immediately, which suggests they may fear him due to the fact he is rather dominant. Prehaps Priestley, the playwright made the inspector dominant so the Birling family and the audience took him and the working class people seriously. If the playwright made the inspector a comical character the Birling family and the audience would have not taken the death of Eva Smith seriously, and this would have made Mr Birling - who is seen as a foolish character - look wise and righteous. Therefore, the capitalists would have been seen as the heroes rather than the inspector and the socialist would have been seen as the fools. Nobody in the Birling family would have learnt their lesson and Eva Smith would have been made into a mockery.
[end of my answer]
Thank you for reading!
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Daydreamer3
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You should never retell what the quotation just said such as Sheila was frightened meaning shes scared, we know shes scared because it says shes frightened so when you wrote "meaning shes scared", that wouldn't be analysing it at all. This automatically would pull your grade down.

Never write "In the play" or "the playwright" because examiners and teachers already know that and it would just seem as waffling.

I think you need to anlyse the quotations in more depth and perhaps choose better quotations to justify your point. But it's fine for year 9, you still have 2 years which is enough time to boost your grade. Especially with exam boards giving more help as the months go on. Maybe even look at mark schemes on An Inspector Calls and copy the points they include.
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Cod3tte
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#9
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(Original post by 13 1 20 8 42)
I dunno about this numbers system but this seems at least an A based on the old system. Not written outstandingly, but you've analysed quotes, made your point, and tied it into the author's intention. I don't think you need to do much more than that.
Hi, thank you for your reply! Heres how to number system works:
Image

But the school can only give you up to a grade 8. Only the examboard can give you a grade 9.
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applesforme
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Isn't his name Inspector Gool or something? You didn't say anything about that.
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