Boyfriend of 2 years didn't put effort into anniversary

Clearly he doesn't see it as a big deal, and tbh since it's just celebrating two years of just being together rather than an actual anniversary of an actual marriage, I totally get why he's thinking this way.

Have you told him how you feel? He doesn't appear to think it is a big deal, and probably assumes you don't think it is a big deal. It is very important to have an open and honest dialogue with him whenever possible and be able to confide with you boyfriend how you feel. Ask him why he is like this now etc.

If his answers are bs- time to find a new man or atleast try for a compromise. The latter is more realistic and pragmatic, albeit, if you're young you still have a good decade or so to find another partner.

Yes, I told him how I feel. He said he felt physically ill at the thought of losing me because we get on mostly very good. But it seems when it's important events like birthday or Christmas etc. He doesn't put a huge amount of thought into it. I'm 23 years old and just graduated University, he is turning 30 this year and he's a policeman, so his train of thinking is very different to most people. He is unemotional, unless it's anger, and doesn't show emotion very well. A policeman is trained to think logically and in black and white, and I believe he brings that aspect of it into the relationship. He seems to make up for it, like sends flowers or buys gifts to make up for the arguments, but I just want him to do that in the first place, then there would be no reason to feel hurt.

He blames a lot of his problems and current thinking on the problems he had with his ex, but he needs to understand that I'm not her and I'm completely different... And that's why it's so hard.

Lmao. Your boyfriend is showing aspects of a person who still isn't 100% over his ex. He still hasn't regained is ability to trust. That, or its just an excuse. Question is yours now. Is he worth it? Gotta make compromises and sacrifices. You either explain it to him better. If he still doesn't get it, either cut the relationship and lose him in the process, and this will hurt. A lot I assume (never fallen in love so idk).. But you can get back up and find a better (or possibly worse) partner. OR you stay with him. but at a small compromise of someone who doesn't really put his 100% on anniversaries and stuff like that.

He sounds stressed- so I wouldn't push him too hard. But you know better. I would choose my future and happiness over his if I were you. Do what your gut says. Is him not doing a lot for your anniversaries a deal breaker or not?

Still though- try talking to him again. Drill it in his brain. You are not his ex.

I so disagree with people who say it’s not important to celebrate anniversaries if you’re not married! Not everyone has the desire to get married, but still wants to be in a committed relationship. Anniversaries are special and should be celebrated whether or not you’re married. It is the day you met your SO.