who pays girl or boy?

please no feminist debate. I just want to know which option reduces any awkwardness.

I want to go on a dinner date with a girl I really like. My first proper get to know you date in a traditional 'romantic setting'.

The girl in question was a uni mate, and at the end of this year I feel we both started flirting a lot, teasing each other.

In the past ive just had drinks date, usually I get the first round and then the girl gets the second etc.

however a dinner date seems awkward. you dont pay until right at the very end.

Deep down I feel a girl expects a man to pay. talking to close female and male friends. I feel fine with this, but im not sure cos none of them have even been on dinner dates.

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Reply 1

username2911200

Original post by Anonymous

Deep down I feel a girl expects a man to pay.

You asked her, you pay, that's what's expected. You don't offer someone a lift they don't need on the presumption they're going to give you petrol money.

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 2

AlexLamberti

Offer to pay it for the first date, hopefully she will ask to contribute but since its a first date it might be a nice touch to pay it all. After this I think it should always be split 50/50, if she doesn't offer to even contribute then I would say thats not someone to pursue, people are at their most polite on a first date

Reply 3

UWS

Whoever does the asking out, pays. It's only fair.

Even if she asks you out, offer to pay for the first date and if she decides to split, then so be it.

Reply 4

Jughead's Hat

If you've invited her on the date, offer to pay. If she'd rather split the bill, she can offer at that point and if not, you haven't made an error in not offering to pay for the dinner.

Offering to pay is a nice gesture and girls who get offended because it's "unfeminist" are ridiculous and rude, in my opinion, and I'd avoid them anyway. (From a girl who identifies as a feminist's perspective.)

Good luck on your date. :five:

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Jughead's Hat

Original post by UWS

Whoever does the asking out, pays. It's only fair.

Even if she asks you out, offer to pay for the first date and if she decides to split, then so be it.

Original post by Glassapple

You asked her, you pay, that's what's expected. You don't offer someone a lift they don't need on the presumption they're going to give you petrol money.

Original post by AlexLamberti

Great advice,

Okay so if she insists going 50/50 what do I do?

Reply 6

username2911200

Original post by Anonymous

Great advice,

Okay so if she insists going 50/50 what do I do?

If she insists, it would be rude to do anything else, so you'd pay 50/50. If she's one of those girls who 'insists' on 50/50 but really wants you to pay for all of it and strings out the paying process so you eventually pay for all of it anyway, she's the sort who plays manipulative games and she's not worth your time.

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 7

UWS

Original post by Anonymous

Great advice,

Okay so if she insists going 50/50 what do I do?

Last thing you want to do is argue over the bill. Take her up on her offer.

Reply 8

Trinculo

Don't go anywhere too expensive.

Reply 9

Citizen Smith.

Original post by Anonymous

I love the whole women power movement that is going on right now. I use the slogan for a tv advert I saw "this girl can" I don't know trying to get a message across or something.

When the waiter or whatever says who's paying the bill I shout "THIS GIRL CAN"

Reply 10

TheSmolPenguin

Me and my bf have always done it like whoevre asks the other person pays, for example if he says lets go for a meal he'll pay yet if I say lets go Rollerskating i'd pay, its always seemed to work for us, good luck!

Reply 11

Bang Outta Order

man should always always pay on the 1st date

even if the female asked you out, even if she offers to pay

also, never let her pay until a bit later on after a few dates/in the relationship, whether she asked you out or not, but especially if she did ask you out :biggrin:

I lay this down as a law all the time. If she offers to pay and it's our 1st time out I actually get angry and she gets all bashful and lets me pay, but I keep it in the back of my mind that she offered cos that's cool. But I let her know it's not gonna happen all the time, call her bluff and let her pay once in a while lol

Reply 12

Devify

I feel like it should be the person who asked the other out to this dinner date should pay at least the first one or two times. When you are actually properly dating, then it's up to you in how you do it. I usually pay one day and let the guy pay the other day.

Reply 13

Bang Outta Order

Original post by Anonymous

Great advice,

Okay so if she insists going 50/50 what do I do?

that 50/50 **** is long. Aint nobody got time to be separating and dividing cash doing maths at the dinner table. Pulling calculators out and :hmmmm:

and that lol 50/50 for me would be: I paid last time, you pay this time, and so on.

Reply 14

c9yyy

Whoever proposed/asked out the other person on the date initially should pay. I feel like it would be rude and somewhat arrogant of me to ask a man out on a date, eat and drink to my heart's desire and expect him to pay. Vice versa applies. If a man were to ask me out/take me out for a meal and then expect me to pay for it, I'd think he has a screw loose. You aren't in a dating routine so I would elaborate.

Original post by Bang Outta Order

I would advise against all of this. If she does offer to pay and you decline (of course, you can argue a little against is but pay in mind this is her being generous) and then follow that by getting angry and 'laying down the law' it will probably spark a 'feminist' debate. Whether or not it's the case, she will read it as you not letting her pay out of the fear of it emasculating you.

It's unlikely it will work unless she enjoys being completely dominated/controlled. Women feel a similar sense of strength when they pay for a meal.

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 15

Bang Outta Order

Original post by Devify

lol yea exactly what I just said, keep it fair earlier on then later on do a pattern.

Reply 16

qasim98

Original post by Anonymous

Yeh girls expect a man to pay. It's 2017 tho the gender stereotypes need to be broken. Now I let girls buy drinks for me and I don't feel and about it at ALL cause I'm just trying to break those barriers ygm not like I'm in it for the free booze or anything horrible like that 🙄