Depressed at how limiting having no friends (and having no chance of ever having friends again) is. I don't care for the 'socialising and hanging out' rubbish. But it means I don't get to do anything. Play chess, pool, sports etc. Problem is it's impossible to do such things regularly without friends. Most importantly I can't play tennis at all, which is my favourite thing in life (above people ffs). Well I can in the sense that I played a couple of matches in the year and got destroyed (I'm talking 6-0 and having to avoid volleys in the warm up because I embarrassingly keep airshotting) by sh*t players by playing sh*t because I have no way to practise. Funny thing is I still play some fantastic shots because I have a reasonable amount of talent, so my play is confusingly inconsistent to most people. Wimbledon has not helped in this regard because it just makes this even more depressing. Warwick has beautiful clay and indoor courts and it's really sad that I won't be able to use them.
Lol I just realised this was a really tennis-heavy post.