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Pregnancy and Parenting Society Mark II

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Original post by letsdothetimewarpagain
To be honest between everything else going on i have about as much support as i can get..i have outreach workers, IDVAs, the lot and im still failing miserably. Things are pretty rock bottom right now so the HV is coming in the morning but my anxiety is so out of control i dont think i can admit anything to her


Sounds like a hell of a lot to deal with. :hugs: Do talk to your HV - they are there to help you and concealing things won't be good in the long run. You're not failing - I don't know the details of your situation at the moment but it sounds like you've got some serious difficulties, and are handling it as best you can. It's ok to need support with that!

I was coming on to whinge that work are being useless about planning my return, annual leave entitlement etc, but that's nothing in the grand scheme of things.
Original post by letsdothetimewarpagain
To be honest between everything else going on i have about as much support as i can get..i have outreach workers, IDVAs, the lot and im still failing miserably. Things are pretty rock bottom right now so the HV is coming in the morning but my anxiety is so out of control i dont think i can admit anything to her


If you don't feel that you can talk to your HV could you talk to your GP? If your anxiety is out of control then there are medications that can be started (or changed if you are already on something). There will be options. One thing that I sometimes advice my patients if they are struggling to put in to words how they are feeling is for them to write it down before they come, this way I can have a look and get somewhere towards understanding what they need help with. I know taking that first step to ask for help is a big thing :frown:
Original post by letsdothetimewarpagain
To be honest between everything else going on i have about as much support as i can get..i have outreach workers, IDVAs, the lot and im still failing miserably. Things are pretty rock bottom right now so the HV is coming in the morning but my anxiety is so out of control i dont think i can admit anything to her
You aren't. I hope the session with the HV is helpful, but if you don't get what you need out of it don't hesitate to say so. It's a horrid place to be in at the moment, but there will be a way out to the light again.
Thank you. Managed to get it all out to the HV who luckily is bloody amazing so she has fot me an urgent gp appointment for the morning and she is going to be there too. She said shes sort of been expecting it because in 4 months max has been in hospital 3 times, i have left an horrendously violent relationship and my mum has spent the last two weeks on life support in ICU. Raising my two with literally no support because the whole of his family have cut me and them off. Will get there but sure as hell is tough.
Original post by letsdothetimewarpagain
Thank you. Managed to get it all out to the HV who luckily is bloody amazing so she has fot me an urgent gp appointment for the morning and she is going to be there too. She said shes sort of been expecting it because in 4 months max has been in hospital 3 times, i have left an horrendously violent relationship and my mum has spent the last two weeks on life support in ICU. Raising my two with literally no support because the whole of his family have cut me and them off. Will get there but sure as hell is tough.


Well done for talking to your HV. PND/PNA really sucks but recognising it and asking for help is a really good step in getting better. (That's really not meant to have sounded as patronising as it does reading back through it!!! It sounds like you've had a horrendous time of it recently but really hope that life will start getting a bit easier for you!)

I'm part way through counselling now and finally starting to see a happier future and gaining more control of my anxiety (bit of CBT, bit of EMDR for PTSD). Long way to go still but seeing a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel now.
Original post by letsdothetimewarpagain
Thank you. Managed to get it all out to the HV who luckily is bloody amazing so she has fot me an urgent gp appointment for the morning and she is going to be there too. She said shes sort of been expecting it because in 4 months max has been in hospital 3 times, i have left an horrendously violent relationship and my mum has spent the last two weeks on life support in ICU. Raising my two with literally no support because the whole of his family have cut me and them off. Will get there but sure as hell is tough.


Well done for getting out of the relationship, it must have been really scary but you've done the right thing. Stay strong and keep believing in yourself - this is the right thing for you and Chelsea and Max. So sorry that your mum is so ill too, I hope that she improves soon. And very pleased that your HV and GP are supportive.
Thank you.

Think the biggest worry on my mind right now is that i have managed to avoid social services opening a case so far by doing literally everything they have asked and i dont want this to be the thing that makes them get involved as i have worked far too hard to avoid it. I know ordinarily this wouldnt be something theu need to get involved with but cant help but feel the combination of everythinf is just too much!
I never knew we had this society too :eek: WOOO
Original post by KittenMediaya
I never knew we had this society too :eek: WOOO

Every society is nearly covered
you are everywhere :wink:
Pregnancy makes student life even more difficult. Universities must put in place an effective system to support pregnant mothers.
Original post by Kevin70
Pregnancy makes student life even more difficult. Universities must put in place an effective system to support pregnant mothers.


I agree especially when it's unexpected pregnancies that people carry through with, there should be some help offfered.
Absolutely, universities may think pregnancy is just a very natural, pain-free and comfortable process and all the mother does is just waiting for 9 months for the baby to jump into this world. On the contrary, pregnancy is a complicated and life-complicating process with all sorts of troubles: backache, nausea, swollen legs and feet, temperature, liver malfunction, fatigue and even depression. Therefore, universities must put into place a comprehensive and effective care and support system for reaching out to pregnant students and help them through this difficult process.
Original post by Kevin70
Absolutely, universities may think pregnancy is just a very natural, pain-free and comfortable process and all the mother does is just waiting for 9 months for the baby to jump into this world. On the contrary, pregnancy is a complicated and life-complicating process with all sorts of troubles: backache, nausea, swollen legs and feet, temperature, liver malfunction, fatigue and even depression. Therefore, universities must put into place a comprehensive and effective care and support system for reaching out to pregnant students and help them through this difficult process.


Completely agree! It's a long and tiring process.
Universities treat pregnant students like any other student as if pregnancy is as normal as bloating. Pregnant women should be entitled to special needs provisions like disabled people which includes support with movement, exams, coursework, feeding, larger dormitory room, and exempt from late arrival penalty. Under human rights act, the pregnant student is more vulnerable and is entitled to more help and support.
I think Universities should approach pregnancy in a similar way that employers are required to - it's not an illness per se although aspects of it can be.

So employers have to do a risk assessment when requested/have a duty of care, allow time off for antenatal care and would generally make reasonable adjustments as suggested by their risk assessments/occupational health or a patient's doctor.
I've been signed off work (debilitating vomiting/anxiety/medication side effects) for part of the first trimester in a complicated pregnancy and in an uncomplicated pregnancy was taken off 12 hour / night shifts in the 3rd trimester (so did normal day shifts instead) but other than that continued to work until planned maternity leaves. Then with return to work reasonable adjustments to help accommodate breastfeeding if needed like space/time/facilities to express.

I think legally the protection is through sex discrimination/gender equality legislation rather than disability as pregnancy/breastfeeding is not a disability.
Hello, i know its a 7 year old thread but I'm hoping there are still some pregnant students here lol
Original post by Kevin70
Pregnancy makes student life even more difficult. Universities must put in place an effective system to support pregnant mothers.


Original post by Pearlfection1
I agree especially when it's unexpected pregnancies that people carry through with, there should be some help offfered.


Original post by Kevin70
Absolutely, universities may think pregnancy is just a very natural, pain-free and comfortable process and all the mother does is just waiting for 9 months for the baby to jump into this world. On the contrary, pregnancy is a complicated and life-complicating process with all sorts of troubles: backache, nausea, swollen legs and feet, temperature, liver malfunction, fatigue and even depression. Therefore, universities must put into place a comprehensive and effective care and support system for reaching out to pregnant students and help them through this difficult process.


Original post by Kevin70
Universities treat pregnant students like any other student as if pregnancy is as normal as bloating. Pregnant women should be entitled to special needs provisions like disabled people which includes support with movement, exams, coursework, feeding, larger dormitory room, and exempt from late arrival penalty. Under human rights act, the pregnant student is more vulnerable and is entitled to more help and support.


Original post by Elles
I think Universities should approach pregnancy in a similar way that employers are required to - it's not an illness per se although aspects of it can be.

So employers have to do a risk assessment when requested/have a duty of care, allow time off for antenatal care and would generally make reasonable adjustments as suggested by their risk assessments/occupational health or a patient's doctor.
I've been signed off work (debilitating vomiting/anxiety/medication side effects) for part of the first trimester in a complicated pregnancy and in an uncomplicated pregnancy was taken off 12 hour / night shifts in the 3rd trimester (so did normal day shifts instead) but other than that continued to work until planned maternity leaves. Then with return to work reasonable adjustments to help accommodate breastfeeding if needed like space/time/facilities to express.

I think legally the protection is through sex discrimination/gender equality legislation rather than disability as pregnancy/breastfeeding is not a disability.

Hi everyone, I've recently gotten pregnant unexpectedly and im about to start uni in September if i get my results otherwise i will be taking a gap year but is it possible to go through both first year uni and pregnancy at the same time (i will be living with my parents and commuting) however i don't talk to the father unfortunately so i don't know if it will be ok. Just wanted some advice on this. Has anyone experiences this and how did you find it?
Original post by Anonymous
Hi everyone, I've recently gotten pregnant unexpectedly and im about to start uni in September if i get my results otherwise i will be taking a gap year but is it possible to go through both first year uni and pregnancy at the same time (i will be living with my parents and commuting) however i don't talk to the father unfortunately so i don't know if it will be ok. Just wanted some advice on this. Has anyone experiences this and how did you find it?


When is your baby due? I'm taking a wild guess that you'll be due around March/April - which is exam time. You almost certainly won't want to study for and take exams while a) heavily pregnant or b) with a newborn baby.

My suggestion is that you defer a year, perhaps get a job for a few months now to save money for your baby. Then, you will have at least 4 months with your baby before you would be starting your course. You may feel differently when your baby arrives, and you may want to defer further, nobody can tell you how you will feel.

Are your parents happy for you to stay living there with a baby? Would they be happy to look after your baby while you study? It's quite an undertaking for everyone involved, and I think you're underestimating how much you won't want to leave your baby when s/he is so young. You may miss out on milestones etc that you later come to regret.

My advice would be to defer at least a year if not more. Even if you went to uni in 5 years when your son/daughter starts school it isn't the end of the world, and it would fit in much better with the lifestyle of your child then. Or even a couple of years when they could go to nursery while you're at uni (I'm guessing your course wouldn't be all day every day, so this shouldn't be too bad, and you can work with your uni to help you get put in classes that best suit your needs where there are multiple options).

People can end up a few years "behind" going to uni (although there isn't an age limit by any means) because of resits and elective gap years, so there will still be plenty of people your age.

It may seem scary now, but there is absolutely a way around it, so that you can have a career and enjoy your baby growing up at the same time.
Original post by Anonymous
When is your baby due? I'm taking a wild guess that you'll be due around March/April - which is exam time. You almost certainly won't want to study for and take exams while a) heavily pregnant or b) with a newborn baby.

My suggestion is that you defer a year, perhaps get a job for a few months now to save money for your baby. Then, you will have at least 4 months with your baby before you would be starting your course. You may feel differently when your baby arrives, and you may want to defer further, nobody can tell you how you will feel.

Are your parents happy for you to stay living there with a baby? Would they be happy to look after your baby while you study? It's quite an undertaking for everyone involved, and I think you're underestimating how much you won't want to leave your baby when s/he is so young. You may miss out on milestones etc that you later come to regret.

My advice would be to defer at least a year if not more. Even if you went to uni in 5 years when your son/daughter starts school it isn't the end of the world, and it would fit in much better with the lifestyle of your child then. Or even a couple of years when they could go to nursery while you're at uni (I'm guessing your course wouldn't be all day every day, so this shouldn't be too bad, and you can work with your uni to help you get put in classes that best suit your needs where there are multiple options).

People can end up a few years "behind" going to uni (although there isn't an age limit by any means) because of resits and elective gap years, so there will still be plenty of people your age.

It may seem scary now, but there is absolutely a way around it, so that you can have a career and enjoy your baby growing up at the same time.


I see, it seems more complicated than i thought. I don't know when exactly my baby is due my first gp appointment is Monday I don't yet have a midwife (don't really know what's gonna happen next at all ngl) but i believe to be 14-18 weeks pregnant? So that'll be November/dec time. How long5do tou think I'll have to take time off for? I'm a bit lost in the process too but hopefully I'll be explained everything

I don't know if i can pursue a career anymore i applied for medicine and obvs that's a really stressful and packed course so i will have to go everyday which isn't like other courses, i believe I'm not likely to get 3A's on results day so a gap year is very likely.

Even if i take a gap year wont it be difficult to spend time with my baby and start a medicine course? Even after 5 years when the course is finished I'll need to do work to specialise, i just feel like i cant do medicine anymore i didn't plan to have a baby until after I've become a doctor but it just happened and i don't want to get an abortion especially so late now. My parents are happy to provide and take care for my child as far as i know, my mum is always home and although she's not healthy enough to do everything for my baby she said she will try but we're not sure yet
Should i just give up on my career, i don't even want to do medicine after all this has happened i feel so exhausted and tired already, the thought of doing so many things at the same time is making depressed or maybe i should opt for an easier course? I don't know what to do my life feels all over the place when i thought i had it all planed :frown:

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