Unfortunately
These kind of relationships (mixed-orientation relationships) have been shown time and time again to be recipe for disaster
accept yourself as you are

Reply 24

username2981082

Original post by deroon

I am sexually attracted to men but through free will decide not to have sex with one.

I just read your other post about how you want to have a heterosexual life. You can't change who you are. Yes, you can control your sexual urges but you can't force yourself to like women. You said you love your gf but is it the same type of love your gf expects? You also have to think in the long term. If you have children in the future is it fair to lie to them about your sexuality? You can't deceive everyone forever.

I know gay men who have tried to fake a heterosexual life and none of their marriages ended well.

Reply 25

aware1

Then you are not gay, simple as. You can be attracted to men, thinking that they are attractive. There is nothing wrong with admiring someone. I think all guys do that. But that does not automatically classify you as being gay. it just means you have an idea of what a good looking guy looks like.

As you are currently in a heterosexual relationship, then you are straight. Don't let anyone else convince you or change you otherwise cause they think its "progressive and the new cool thing"

Reply 26

deroon

Original post by Loopy91

Do you feel any romantic attraction to her?
Also, to the other posters, I think he's saying that he's gay but doesn't want to act on it, rather than contradicting himself.

Well what about when the kids leave home? You'll be bored together and longing for some c*ck. She needs to be with someone that wants the full package when it comes toIrelationships. It's sad and selfish really that you have this attitude. I feel sorry you feel pressure to have kids and get married conventionally, but you don't always get what you want in life. I want to do the same, but like you I'm gay. But I'm not gonna compromise a woman with my selfish wishes though.

Yes your absolutely right about what I am saying.

I do feel very romantically attracted to her and we have had sex before as well. Although the kids will leave home I will still have my own family and when couples become older the relationship is more about caring about each other in a more romantic rather than sexual way - very few older couples will base their relationship around sex. I can see why it may be selfish but I think that we should be free to make our own decisions in life. Their are far worse things I could be doing!

Reply 27

deroon

Original post by aware1

I am actually sexually attracted to men and my body would want to have sex with a man but I refrain. The admiring kind of attraction you are describing is how I feel about my girl though we have had sex a few times.

Reply 28

applesforme

Does your gf know you're gay?

Reply 29

deroon

Original post by constantine2016

My girlfriend is happy with being with me - if she wasn't she would break up with me. I am kind, caring and we spend plenty of time together. I think she looks beautiful and we have had sex a few times. I don't feel like I would be lying to my children or lying to anyone for that matter. Who would talk about their sexuality in front of their kids?

Reply 30

deroon

Original post by applesforme

Does your gf know you're gay?

No she doesn't. No one does.

Reply 31

Jack22031994

Volunteer Team

Original post by deroon

No she doesn't. No one does.

Why are you going out with her if youre gay?

Do you feel bad for deceiving her and basically stringing her along?

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 32

Anonymous #2

does your girlfriend know? if not she deserves to know and be with someone who is physically attracted to her. let me just say it's not gonna work out in the long run. you would eventually want to give in and have sex with a guy. but if this is life you choose good on you just don't break her heart x

Reply 33

deroon

Original post by Jack22031994

Why are you going with her if youre gay?

Do you feel bad for deceiving her and basically stringing her along?

I want to have a girlfriend and live a heterosexual life. I genuinely do enjoy spending time with her. If she didn't want to be with me she would leave me so I don't feel like I am deceiving her or forcing her to be with me. I do actually love her.

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 34

deroon

Original post by Anonymous

No she doesn't. But I will always try to be the best boyfriend I can be for her and will never break her heart for another guy.

Reply 35

Jack22031994

Volunteer Team

Original post by deroon

Ignore that it says edited by me.I pressed the wrong button!! :facepalm:

Would she still be with you if she knew you were gay?

Are you sure youre not bi?

Reply 36

Loopy91

Original post by deroon

So you're saying you're ROMANTICALLY attracted to her but not SEXUALLY. She might be both of these things towards you, in which case it's an unfair and inbalanced relationship based on deceit. She needs to know that you're not SEXUALLY attracted to her, because trust me, if you commit yourself to a girl for life, you'll be miserable as hell. There's a specific label for your sexuality actually, if what you're saying is genuinely true and you're not in denial about not really being romantically attracted to women. It's called 'bi-romantic homosexual'. You are bi romantic because you are capable of having romantic attraction to both sees, and you are homosexual because you are only capable of being SEXUALLY attracted to men. But something tells me you're kinda in denial about how you really feel about your girl. That's something for you to think about.

And yeah biromantic (and hetero romantic, homoromantic) sound like SJW terms but they're really just asexuals with romantic attractions

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 37

applesforme

Do you feel sexually attracted to her? Is sex enjoyable?

Reply 38

Ramona CA

Honey you are very young and committing to a woman who presumably doesn't know you are straight and pretending to fake it while building an uncertain future for yourself and anyone else who gets sucked into this is bound to end in disaster. Do the honest thing and tell her you are gay and then take a long bountiful holiday from messing with your identity and speak to someone compassionate such as a counselor who can help you come to terms with your expectations for your life. I wish you all the best, having same sex attractions are a fact of life, you cannot simply ignore them, neither can you be someone you are not but if you wish you don't have to act on them, as I believe your desire is that.