Struggling with my Christian faith.

Hi guys, so I became a Christian (previously atheist/agnostic) about a year ago. It was, without a doubt, the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am so, so grateful for God's influence in my life. However, I have been struggling an awful lot over the past few months and I'm looking for some guidance really.

I'm sort of at a loss with faith. After a couple of weeks I usually feel such a strong urge that either He's there or that I need to come back to the right path but that hasn't happened this time. I started losing faith (I hate using that term but I can't think of any other way to describe it right now) about 3 or 4 months ago and its just not really come back.

I still believe in Him, I regularly reread my testimony to try and inspire those feelings I had when I first became Christian but nothing comes back. One of the reasons is that I've stopped attending church and now, because its been so long, I feel nervous to go back. I'm not entirely sure its the right place for me, some of the sermons and practices haven't fit right in my mind and I'm starting to see my beliefs as more collective than individual. Despite my disagreements, I do think I need to go back to some place of worship as it is affecting me. Secondly, I'm the only non-atheist in my family so I can't go to the people I'm closest with for guidance because they actively try to discourage my faith. It's definitely hard to keep up a strong belief when you feel kind of isolated and there's no-one to physically pull you back.

I haven't read my bible in ages as I've felt this strange anger towards it and sometimes its immensity stresses me out and I'm struggling to connect with my one Christian friend because we're at such different points in our journey with faith. The times I've tried to just pray or listen to hymns etc I only get frustrated and I don't have a pastor or a strong, non-judging figure of faith I can talk to and I feel like I have all this pent up upset that I can neither control or let out.

I'm looking mostly for responses from other Christians but feel free to share your own other faith experience.

Hi guys, so I became a Christian (previously atheist/agnostic) about a year ago. It was, without a doubt, the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am so, so grateful for God's influence in my life. However, I have been struggling an awful lot over the past few months and I'm looking for some guidance really.

I'm sort of at a loss with faith. After a couple of weeks I usually feel such a strong urge that either He's there or that I need to come back to the right path but that hasn't happened this time. I started losing faith (I hate using that term but I can't think of any other way to describe it right now) about 3 or 4 months ago and its just not really come back.

I still believe in Him, I regularly reread my testimony to try and inspire those feelings I had when I first became Christian but nothing comes back. One of the reasons is that I've stopped attending church and now, because its been so long, I feel nervous to go back. I'm not entirely sure its the right place for me, some of the sermons and practices haven't fit right in my mind and I'm starting to see my beliefs as more individual than collective. Despite my disagreements, I do think I need to go back to some place of worship as it is affecting me. Secondly, I'm the only non-atheist in my family so I can't go to the people I'm closest with for guidance because they actively try to discourage my faith. It's definitely hard to keep up a strong belief when you feel kind of isolated and there's no-one to physically pull you back.

I haven't read my bible in ages as I've felt this strange anger towards it and sometimes its immensity stresses me out and I'm struggling to connect with my one Christian friend because we're at such different points in our journey with faith. The times I've tried to just pray or listen to hymns etc I only get frustrated and I don't have a pastor or a strong, non-judging figure of faith I can talk to and I feel like I have all this pent up upset that I can neither control or let out.

I'm looking mostly for responses from other Christians but feel free to share your own other faith experience.

Hey,

Sorry to read of what you've been going through: sounds quite tough and like you are kinda troubled by it. It must be very hard being the only non-atheist in your family and not having many non-judgmental people who you can talk to about this

I'm wondering whether there are other churches in your area that you might be able to consider trying out? Kinda like church-shopping/church-hopping?! Do you mind me asking how old you are and whether you're at uni or not? Unis often have different religious societies and joining one of those (if you're at uni) might help you a bit? It can certainly be nervewracking to go back to church if you haven't been in a while - I often find that too (I'm Roman Catholic and rarely attend church, as religious buildings are a trigger for my psychosis)

Can you pinpoint what it is about reading the Bible that angers/frustrates/upsets you? Are you having doubts about particular sections of the Bible, or teachings? Maybe if you could share some of it here, we can try and help you grapple with your feelings

Hi I'm a Muslim.

Sometimes faith may fluctuate, but those who keep their trust in God will try to take steps to research carefully with a sincere heart to seek peace. In the process keep asking God to guide you. I believe that God will not leave you alone if you truly ask for His guidance and put the effort to get the answers to your questions or any doubts. I hope you find peace.

I'm sorry that you're feeling that way; sometimes things can get too much that you start to wonder if it's all even worth it, but it really is.

Going to Church doesn't make someone 'Christian' just like not going to Church doesn't make you any less of a Christian, it's more of a way to build a community with other Christians, but given that there is such a widespread of different beliefs it's not really surprising that people wouldn't go to Church. If you feel that you should go then you should - and if you decide later it's still not for you then I don't see how that would keep you away from God.

As for reading the bible, just try, try reading at least one verse a day and continue from there. Sometimes I would read various chapters and other days I may only read a verse. And there's nothing wrong with that because we aren't perfect, were all human and some people aren't even willing to devote any of their time to God (atheists) and you aren't one of them so you're already a step a head. I know it may be hard but reading the bible shouldn't be a chore you should read it willingly, so start off small.

If you want to talk about this more feel try to pm me cause I'm more than happy to chat about this

Thank you so much for your reply.

I'm going into Year 13 in September, so still another year until university. I'm really excited for that though, mostly at the prospect of being able to join a CU and being able to have more support with people similar to my age. I live about 3 miles away from the town I go to church in (there's only one in my village, I tried it; very traditional, mostly old women, very friendly but not my cup of tea) and I go with my friend whose parents drive us. Although there is a couple of other churches in that town, I can't really go to them because I rely on her to take me and they don't want to change church and my parents certainly don't want me to go to any of them!

There are a lot of aspects of my church I love, its really accepting (unless you're gay - I'm not but a couple of grossly homophobic preachers have rubbed me up the wrong way), very casual, lots of emphasis on tangible experience with God and the ability to help with mission work etc. However, their strong view points on the aforementioned queerness, euthanasia, physical powers of preachers and other touchy subjects, I haven't always agreed with. This was one of the reasons I stopped attending and now its been so long, I do feel so nervous to return! I think that is one thing I do just have to get over and go. Because I don't have religious support at home, I do need it somewhere and I know that in a year or so time I'll be at uni in a different city and, hopefully, will find the church for me.

Bible wise, its not necessarily the scripture or teachings of the bible that frustrate me - but thank you so much for your willingness to help me on that. I think, because I have somehow amassed this anger against God, I don't like reading His word. A stupid analogy, but its like having an argument with a friend which makes you angry seeing any texts or messages from them. I also don't really feel anything when I read them anymore. Beforehand, when my faith was strong, I'd read the bible and feel a connection and a desire to read on but now I feel nothing.

Thank you so much - that is so lovely of you. I hope so too

Just a little piece of advice.

Don't ever feel like you can't go back to God. He will always wait for you with open loving arms, ready to guide you back into faith. I have definitely felt the way you have and praying for God to take control was what I did. The more you pray, the more He will connect with you.

Hope that helps!

Ah I see the dilemma. I guess even if you were getting a lift with your friend and her parents to take you, that doesn't mean you necessarily have to go into the same church if the other churches are within walking distance and have services that start/finish around the same time. But I can see how it might be difficult to approach that subject with your friend and her parents.

It can be difficult if a church you are attending is preaching on some subjects in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable. I guess it's up to you to decide whether the bits you do like/agree with are worth staying for? Like I said, I'm Roman Catholic but that doesn't mean I agree with everything or even most of the things my denomination teaches. I stick with it though because for me personally, it is the denomination that resonates the most and makes the most sense to me! And the bits I do like override all the bits I don't like.

It's nice that your church emphasis tangible experiences of God but I wonder whether that is subconsciously putting undue pressure on you to feel God at all times? For those of us who have experienced God and His love for us in a tangible way, it is a very powerful experience... but (maybe I'm just talking to/about myself here!) it can make the times we don't feel God's presence/love for us difficult and sometimes even unbearable, and that can make it hard to keep having/practising out our faith. But if we can ride out the times of (what Catholics term) desolation, that can really strengthen and solidify our faith, and make it far more richer than it would have been otherwise. It can be very tough though. I haven't felt God for several years now and I do find that rather painful and lonely

Your analogy makes perfect sense - completely get what you're saying. Is there a particular reason you're angry with God? I wonder whether it would help to do some reading about/from people who have felt anger towards God, or had a rough time with their faith? My university chaplain, when I told her how I don't feel God anymore and how my faith feels quite bleak, recommended an author called Barbara Brown Taylor:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=Barbara+Taylor+Brown . I can't remember which exact book my chaplain recommended but Brown Taylor talks a lot about what she calls "lunar spirituality" or finding God in darkness. Wondering if that might help you a bit. I haven't read Brown Taylor's books yet though, so can't recommmend first-hand but my uni chaplain recommended it to me, and I trust her judgment

I'm looking mostly for responses from other Christians but feel free to share your own other faith experience.

I haven't read my bible in ages as I've felt this strange anger towards it and sometimes its immensity stresses me out

and I'm struggling to connect with my one Christian friend because we're at such different points in our journey with faith. The times I've tried to just pray or listen to hymns etc I only get frustrated and I don't have a pastor or a strong, non-judging figure of faith I can talk to and I feel like I have all this pent up upset that I can neither control or let out.

Hi
Sorry you're struggling. In some ways it's a good thing. We're human so it's important to question what and why.
The church you go to certainly doesn't sound like it's the right fit for you. It wouldn't be for me either!
My church is very focussed on acceptance and love regardless. It's not for us to judge. I'll leave that to God
What denomination is it?
Is there no way for you to get to another?
I'm sure your Christian friends would be happy to still give you a lift if you then walked to another
From a Christian point of view, church is better than no church!
Have you tried asking?
Ultimately when you go to uni there will be loads of options in a city to try. Some CU's can be very intolerant and hard line so watch out for that
God bless

some people aren't even willing to devote any of their time to God (atheists) and you aren't one of them so you're already a step a head.

Hi guys, so I became a Christian (previously atheist/agnostic) about a year ago. It was, without a doubt, the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am so, so grateful for God's influence in my life. However, I have been struggling an awful lot over the past few months and I'm looking for some guidance really.

I'm sort of at a loss with faith. After a couple of weeks I usually feel such a strong urge that either He's there or that I need to come back to the right path but that hasn't happened this time. I started losing faith (I hate using that term but I can't think of any other way to describe it right now) about 3 or 4 months ago and its just not really come back.

I still believe in Him, I regularly reread my testimony to try and inspire those feelings I had when I first became Christian but nothing comes back. One of the reasons is that I've stopped attending church and now, because its been so long, I feel nervous to go back. I'm not entirely sure its the right place for me, some of the sermons and practices haven't fit right in my mind and I'm starting to see my beliefs as more individual than collective. Despite my disagreements, I do think I need to go back to some place of worship as it is affecting me. Secondly, I'm the only non-atheist in my family so I can't go to the people I'm closest with for guidance because they actively try to discourage my faith. It's definitely hard to keep up a strong belief when you feel kind of isolated and there's no-one to physically pull you back.

I haven't read my bible in ages as I've felt this strange anger towards it and sometimes its immensity stresses me out and I'm struggling to connect with my one Christian friend because we're at such different points in our journey with faith. The times I've tried to just pray or listen to hymns etc I only get frustrated and I don't have a pastor or a strong, non-judging figure of faith I can talk to and I feel like I have all this pent up upset that I can neither control or let out.

I'm looking mostly for responses from other Christians but feel free to share your own other faith experience.

Wow - thank you SO much. You're amazing, really.

What you've said about the church putting pressure on tangible experience is a bit of an epiphany moment actually. I totally feel that, and didn't realise I did until you've just pointed it out to me. I think its also because I definitely have and really, really long for that feeling again but it hasn't happened so I feel a tad cast aside even when I know He obviously wouldn't. I empathise with you, it really sucks. Here's to hoping it's a test which will force me to become stronger.

Thank you so much for the author recommendation - that might be really helpful actually. I don't really know why I'm angry at God, I think its because I don't feel him. I read of all these incredible experiences people have had, miracles in the bible or real life testimonies and it frustrates me as to why it hasn't happened to me. It sounds a bit selfish - but maybe that is where my anger lies.