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Girlfriend not being loyal/honest

So we are together 4 years and we are in long distance relationship, she isn't the type to cheat or go sleep with random guys, [shes 19 im 20] so i'm not worried that she will go with a guy and have sex with them in a month or so.

Biggest problem is that shes not being honest/loyal, she keeps texting other guys and keep promising she will stop etc but then she chat with some other new guys.
It's really annoying me af because she's just ''being bored'' as we have time difference so when i go sleep she still has rest of day about 3-5 pm. But it's so annoying because she take it as she can make guy friends but there isnt such thing, she been texting about 3 guys in past longer and they all later were pressuring her into that kind of stuff so she rejected them like stopped talking, why would you keep making random guys fell in you text show you nice and like them and then nope. I mean thats good she dont cheat but its still annoying she texts them and most important she don't respect me much ? She loves me and all but she never tell them she has bf etc so they of course wanna get along with her and stuff.

Last time well last 3 times she promised she will stop talking to guys im sorry etc but she kept doing it so i was like ok, talk to guys but be honest to me and show more respect to your bf ? instead saying you don't have a bf say you do and don't be too nice while texting them so but most important be honest and tell me whether you text some guys or not.

And i keep seeing her online on whatsapp from time to time but she says she never text any guy this week and she promised she didn't, but i keep seeing her on whats app online so i asked why you online from time to time ''ohh i was checking my contacts'' like i was like whatever didn't felt that day like arguing with her and hearing ''you dont trust me'' like wtf, im sure she texts some guys on whats app like you dont just come on whats app every few min to check what contacts ? and she even send me screenshots as i asked her to send it with ''oh i deleted the guy i texted last week i blocked him'' like cmon im not 12

But yeah its really annoying i really love her, we love each other never cheat its just that texting thing and that she not being honest when she text guys but i think i start to love her less and less, it's hard but i want to because im tired of her not honest answer tbh, before i was really emotional first 2 times we were on the edge of break up 3rd time i was just whatever ok fine if you text but at least be honest and tell me if you do thats all i ask.. ''Ok i promise i will tell you and try not to text any guys'' then she does it same thing but even worse cuz she basically lies straight into my eyes? like i catch her hand if she stealing something and she would say its not hers. shes just not being loyal and honest with me and sad thing we have have tickets meeting in about 2 months and shes doing such thing and then she will cry how stupid she is as she did few times before wtf is her problem guys help


Thanks for helping !

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Original post by JordLndr
Cba to read, this is longer than the bible tbh


LMFAO:toofunny:
Reply 2
Tl;dr for everyone: They're long distance with a time difference, gf keeps texting other guys but not sleeping with them (even though she is pressured to) and OP doesn't understand why she keeps doing this.


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I think you need to have a serious chat with your girlfriend. If she keeps doing this and you keep telling her that it's not on then it makes me wonder if she is serious about the relationship.
Mate... if i wanted to read a book ... i would have gone to the library... if u r long.distance... she will be slightly more inclined to do so.. coz u arent there
Well I read it all. It seems to me that she is determined to continue texting and messaging other men even though she knows how you feel about this. I know there is nothing going on between her and the other men, but I don't think this is right and I don't think she is treating you well. It would be different and understandable if it was just one man who she has known a while and they communicated regularly. But to just keep messaging random different men again and again, I think is unacceptable. If you want to, I would say to her she either stops contacting other men or your relationship will be in serious jeopardy. I bet she wouldn't like it if you started doing the same with lots of different women, especially if they were all pretty.
Reply 5
Here's the problem, you're insecure and controlling :smile:

I'm a girl and I personally only have male friends. I just don't seem to get along with other girls, and it might be the same for your girlfriend. And I do have a boyfriend, and he's ok with it because he actually trusts me unlike you with your girlfriend (a lot of my friends are our mutual friends, but I have some of my own too).

The reason she might start lying to you is because you're getting too controlling. You're literally trying to choose her friends for her, and you probably react really badly whenever she mentions talking to guys. You can't expect her to cut off all friendships just because you said so. You also can't expect her to never talk to guys, what is this anyway, primary school where boys only talk to boys and girls to girls? Grow up.

Get over yourself and stop trying to dictate who your girlfriend can and can't talk to.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Nadile
Here's the problem, you're insecure and controlling :smile:

I'm a girl and I personally only have male friends. I just don't seem to get along with other girls, and it might be the same for your girlfriend. And I do have a boyfriend, and he's ok with it because he actually trusts me unlike you with your girlfriend (a lot of my friends are our mutual friends, but I have some of my own too).

The reason she might start lying to you is because you're getting too controlling. You're literally trying to choose her friends for her, and you probably react really badly whenever she mentions talking to guys. You can't expect her to cut off all friendships just because you said so. You also can't expect her to never talk to guys, what is this anyway, primary school where boys only talk to boys and girls to girls? Grow up.

Get over yourself and stop trying to dictate who your girlfriend can and can't talk to.


There's nothing wrong with his girlfriend having male friends who she contacts regularly. This is not the same. She is contacting random men she doesn't even know. Those men will get the impression she is interested.
Reply 7
Original post by markova21
There's nothing wrong with his girlfriend having male friends who she contacts regularly. This is not the same. She is contacting random men she doesn't even know. Those men will get the impression she is interested.


How can he know they are random though? Plus we don't know what the conversations look like. Can you even write to random people on WhatsApp? Don't you need their phone number or something first? (Genuine question)
Reply 8
Original post by Nadile
Here's the problem, you're insecure and controlling :smile:

I'm a girl and I personally only have male friends. I just don't seem to get along with other girls, and it might be the same for your girlfriend. And I do have a boyfriend, and he's ok with it because he actually trusts me unlike you with your girlfriend (a lot of my friends are our mutual friends, but I have some of my own too).

The reason she might start lying to you is because you're getting too controlling. You're literally trying to choose her friends for her, and you probably react really badly whenever she mentions talking to guys. You can't expect her to cut off all friendships just because you said so. You also can't expect her to never talk to guys, what is this anyway, primary school where boys only talk to boys and girls to girls? Grow up.

Get over yourself and stop trying to dictate who your girlfriend can and can't talk to.



Thing is i don't trust her in those stuff because she lied straight to my eyes before few times when i clearly new she text guys same thing happens now i can clearly see and shes idk, if she was honest now as i said before and she promised she will be honest and tell me when she text guys then i be ok fine give her some advice not to make them fall in love or not to be too nice.

Another thing its not that its her mutual friends she has a guy friend i dont care if she text him cuz she met him way before me they dont chat often now but i didnt mind him he has gf too thats fine.
But she is really pretty and guys often talk to her and I KNOW that 99% of guys that talk to her want to get with her because shes pretty, and she is always nice to everyone and she just makes them fall in love without knowing as it happened with 2 other guys before, she just wanted to be friends with them was nice texting etc and then after like month or so they said they have feeling for her and love her and she just stopped texting them and avoiding them at school and told me ''Yeah you were right im sorry'' but then she does it again, can't she see they all trying get with her ? Why would she do it she basically plays with other guys heart make them fell and then reject wtf, for now its just that shes not being honest and again lying to me
Original post by PhilDanthropist
Mate... if i wanted to read a book ... i would have gone to the library... if u r long.distance... she will be slightly more inclined to do so.. coz u arent there


This is completely unrelated - but SEMPITERNAL!
Original post by markova21
There's nothing wrong with his girlfriend having male friends who she contacts regularly. This is not the same. She is contacting random men she doesn't even know. Those men will get the impression she is interested.


Yes please just high five me ''Those men will get the impression she is interested'' + it seems like she can't see it.


>>>''How can he know they are random though? Plus we don't know what the conversations look like. Can you even write to random people on WhatsApp? Don't you need their phone number or something first? (Genuine question)''>>

It's mostly guys from her insta or school and from the screenshots she send me of the guys before i could clearly tell she just wanna be friends have ''someone to text'' waste time, when they were asking for nudes [i once could read all convo live as had her login and password we shared login and password for many stuff but she forgot and i could see live convo which she was embarrassed later and wasn't sure if she can look me in the eyes after that, when they asked for nudes she just changed topic etc or stopped texting them but thing is that she text guys who don't ask for nudes or are ok to talk to, she text them normally nothing ''to nice babe or that he like them etc'' just normal texting but thing is looks like she cant see that guys falling in her until they say they love her or that they wanna meet up etc, idk confused with her
Reply 11
Original post by Anonymous
Thing is i don't trust her in those stuff because she lied straight to my eyes before few times when i clearly new she text guys same thing happens now i can clearly see and shes idk, if she was honest now as i said before and she promised she will be honest and tell me when she text guys then i be ok fine give her some advice not to make them fall in love or not to be too nice.

Another thing its not that its her mutual friends she has a guy friend i dont care if she text him cuz she met him way before me they dont chat often now but i didnt mind him he has gf too thats fine.
But she is really pretty and guys often talk to her and I KNOW that 99% of guys that talk to her want to get with her because shes pretty, and she is always nice to everyone and she just makes them fall in love without knowing as it happened with 2 other guys before, she just wanted to be friends with them was nice texting etc and then after like month or so they said they have feeling for her and love her and she just stopped texting them and avoiding them at school and told me ''Yeah you were right im sorry'' but then she does it again, can't she see they all trying get with her ? Why would she do it she basically plays with other guys heart make them fell and then reject wtf, for now its just that shes not being honest and again lying to me

I can't tell if you're jealous or if you're trying to look out for these other guys so they don't get their feelings hurt.

Overall to me she just sounds lonely and like she's trying to make some new friends. I don't think it's fair to tell her not to make friends anymore in case they fall in love with her. She's definitely not playing with their hearts, because if she's trying to make a friend then she's likely to assume the same from the guy she's talking to. She should say that she has a boyfriend earlier though to avoid disappointments. Also she stops talking to anyone who asks her for nudes or anything else inappropriate, so I'd say she has no bad intentions.

Here's the thing about you telling her you're ok with it as long as she tells you. You probably overreacted about this in the past, so now she expects that if she tells you the truth you'll react the same. That's not going to change when you say you're ok with it now. Especially depending on how you told her, because if you sounded at all negative, then she would have gotten the impression that you're not actually okay with her talking to guys. You may have come off too forceful which will just make her scared to tell the truth.

Also, please use punctuation. Your posts are painful to read.
This is ****ed up bro

No girl/boy should be flirt messages to other people. You accept it, why? If it was me I'd start chatting to girls, flirting, sexting you watch how shelle react.

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These hoes ain't loyal ey ey
Original post by Nadile
How can he know they are random though? Plus we don't know what the conversations look like. Can you even write to random people on WhatsApp? Don't you need their phone number or something first? (Genuine question)


I don't know. I know nothing about WhatsApp to be honest.
Original post by Anonymous
This is completely unrelated - but SEMPITERNAL!


Haha. Yes it is.. lol i prefer their old stuff tho... like suicide season .. count your blessings... the chillout sessions etc... but the album cover for sempiternal is the prettiest so i used it as a profile pic..
Original post by Nadile
I can't tell if you're jealous or if you're trying to look out for these other guys so they don't get their feelings hurt.

Overall to me she just sounds lonely and like she's trying to make some new friends. I don't think it's fair to tell her not to make friends anymore in case they fall in love with her. She's definitely not playing with their hearts, because if she's trying to make a friend then she's likely to assume the same from the guy she's talking to. She should say that she has a boyfriend earlier though to avoid disappointments. Also she stops talking to anyone who asks her for nudes or anything else inappropriate, so I'd say she has no bad intentions.

Here's the thing about you telling her you're ok with it as long as she tells you. You probably overreacted about this in the past, so now she expects that if she tells you the truth you'll react the same. That's not going to change when you say you're ok with it now. Especially depending on how you told her, because if you sounded at all negative, then she would have gotten the impression that you're not actually okay with her talking to guys. You may have come off too forceful which will just make her scared to tell the truth.

Also, please use punctuation. Your posts are painful to read.


I'm not jealous and not caring about those guys feelings, i just care that she talks to guys and lying to me that she doesn't
And yes i think you are right in this thing, i overreacted in past, i mean i just got mad and got tired even tho i love her really much i just wanted to end it cuz it will happen again and again we were on the edge but we somehow made it work again, because told her fine but just tell me you text some guys tell them you have bf and be honest to me.

And thing is that last time she just said to this guy i was her ex ? and all texting was alright was reading their convo for like 2 weeks live but when she send pic of us and calling me its her ex it was over, too much disrespect so talked to her we nearly broke up that time and said shes so embarrassed that shes not sure if she wanna meet me again cuz will be ashamed to look me in the eyes.

And also another thing is that she don't say she has a bf, usually avoids such topic unless a guy ask for it.
She's an attention whore.
LOOOOOL
Original post by Nadile
Here's the problem, you're insecure and controlling :smile:

I'm a girl and I personally only have male friends. I just don't seem to get along with other girls, and it might be the same for your girlfriend. And I do have a boyfriend, and he's ok with it because he actually trusts me unlike you with your girlfriend (a lot of my friends are our mutual friends, but I have some of my own too).

The reason she might start lying to you is because you're getting too controlling. You're literally trying to choose her friends for her, and you probably react really badly whenever she mentions talking to guys. You can't expect her to cut off all friendships just because you said so. You also can't expect her to never talk to guys, what is this anyway, primary school where boys only talk to boys and girls to girls? Grow up.

Get over yourself and stop trying to dictate who your girlfriend can and can't talk to.


don't think the issue is with normal guy-girl friendships. OPs girlfriend is chatting up guys who are propositioning her over and over so she's clearly flirting/making out like she's available or these guys wouldn't be asking for more than a whatsapp

OP there's nothing wrong with her chatting to guys but I think you need a serious conversation about boundaries e.g. no flirting, sex talk and the fact she has a boyfriend should be established pretty early on - it sounds like she's going to keep on disrespecting those boundaries though and tbh at that point I'd leave her, she clearly doesn't respect you and this sort of thing will probably escalate i.e. at some point she won't just be texting

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