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Girlfriend advice please

Bear with me.
A few weeks ago I made a post about how I was untrusting and checked my girlfriend's phone in regards to her ex boyfriend messaging her and saw that she'd arranged to go for a 1 to 1 meal with him. I wasn't happy about this but couldn't raise it without mentioning I'd be on her phone.
I eventually came up with an idea to say a friend saw them out, which backfired as it turns out for whatever reason they didn't go. But she assured me at the time she didn't want to spend time with him, had no reason to spend any time with him other than if they happened to be at the same event etc. Obviously I was satisfied with this answer.

Until now.
It's gonna sound bad, but I checked her phone again. Second time. And I saw her messages to him, after our conversation. They had a dispute where he was angry that she had invited me over to their flat share before he'd moved out, and she was saying sorry etc. and then said "if you don't hate me we could still go for food another time"

I don't quite know how to take this. They split mutually and have loads of mutual friends, I'm okay with them chatting and being friendly, but they've recently been texting a fair amount and this previous conversation we had alongside this 1 to 1 meal thing really irritates me.

What should I do? I should note it's completely out of character to check her phone, I just had this gut feeling I couldn't shake.

Reply 1

Tiger Rag

You need to stop checking her phone. It's not going to help you at all.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Tiger Rag

You need to stop checking her phone. It's not going to help you at all.

I know I do, but both times I've checked I've seen something to warrant the gut feeling. This second time especially considering the promises that she wanted nothing to do with him especially.

Reply 3

username3108158

As above poster said, if you don't check her phone, then you won't feel upset :u:

Ignorance is bliss.

Reply 4

markova21

I remember your previous post and agree with Tiger Rag. You'll become obsessed, drive yourself nuts and drive her away. Stop it now.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by ClearSky

As above poster said, if you don't check her phone, then you won't feel upset :u:

Ignorance is bliss.

Original post by markova21

I remember your previous post and agree with Tiger Rag. You'll become obsessed, drive yourself nuts and drive her away. Stop it now.

I know I do, but both times I've checked I've seen something to warrant the gut feeling. This second time especially considering the promises that she wanted nothing to do with him especially.
I've never done this in a relationship before, I think it's because she's weirdly like a perfect match for me so I'm more concerned about her leaving.

Reply 6

anon_mous

I would agree with the above posts that you need to stop checking her phone because its just going to drive her away and drive yourself mad.

Is there any other particular reason as to why you are feeling insecure in the relationship? Or a reason which prompted this "gut feeling"? Trust is essential in any relationship and if you are lacking it, it is probably not a good omen.

If it is playing on your mind this much you may need to confront her about it and explain why it is making you so uncomfortable. Obviously this involves admitting that you have looked through her phone (without her permission) which I doubt she will take well but it does not sound like you're going to be able to move on from this otherwise.