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Have I just been irritating her?

So I have this friend that I fancy. We used to text every day.
I decided the best way to get over her was to stop initiating anything (texts, meetups etc...) and since I stopped initiating 2 weeks ago I've basically not heard anything from her at all!

Have I just been irritating her if, after I stop initiating, she doesn't speak to me at all!

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Original post by Anonymous
So I have this friend that I fancy. We used to text every day.
I decided the best way to get over her was to stop initiating anything (texts, meetups etc...) and since I stopped initiating 2 weeks ago I've basically not heard anything from her at all!

Have I just been irritating her if, after I stop initiating, she doesn't speak to me at all!


Just text asking how she is and that its a been a while since youve chatted etc
If you don't chat she'll lose interest, some girls don't have the t!ts to message guys first. But the chances are that she doesn't see you in that way, like how hard is it to send a message? Ask her what she thinks of you then if she replies positively then ask her out. This is best done in person.
If she's not initiating anything..

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Original post by Jack22031994
Just text asking how she is and that its a been a while since youve chatted etc


I did and I got a 1 word reply
Original post by Anonymous
I did and I got a 1 word reply


Oh okay :frown: What was it?

I'm trying to relate as my bestfriend is a girl (I dont fancy her though), and we can go 2+ weeks without talking at it doesnt matter etc but I guess everyone is different.
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Original post by Jack22031994
Oh okay :frown: What was it?

I'm trying to relate as my bestfriend is a girl (I dont fancy her though), and we can go 2+ weeks without talking at it doesnt matter etc but I guess everyone is different.


I said how's your holiday and she replied "sunburnt"....
Original post by Anonymous
I said how's your holiday and she replied "sunburnt"....


oh okay - I'd reply saying something like "Aww okay haha - hope it clears up soon!, Anyway would you be free to ctach up sometime? As we havent spoken for a bit?"

I dont know what your friends sense of humour is though for the highlighted bit :tongue:
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Original post by Jack22031994
oh okay - I'd reply saying something like "Aww okay haha - hope it clears up soon!, Anyway would you be free to ctach up sometime? As we havent spoken for a bit?"

I dont know what your friends sense of humour is though for the highlighted bit :tongue:


haha. we used to meet up alot
but I told her I fancied her and since then she's been almost impossible to hang out with!
so I'm just wondering if she's keeping the friendship up to make me happy but isn't actually interested...so she'll only make an effort if I do but if I don't make the effort she doesn't want to either possibly because she's worried about leading me on?
Original post by Anonymous
haha. we used to meet up alot
but I told her I fancied her and since then she's been almost impossible to hang out with!
so I'm just wondering if she's keeping the friendship up to make me happy but isn't actually interested...so she'll only make an effort if I do but if I don't make the effort she doesn't want to either possibly because she's worried about leading me on?


Maybe yeah, as she doesnt have the same feelings for you?
Original post by Jack22031994
Maybe yeah, as she doesnt have the same feelings for you?


No...she said she found the situation awkward when I told her
I would still like to be friends with her because I still like her as a person....
Original post by Anonymous
No...she said she found the situation awkward when I told her
I would still like to be friends with her because I still like her as a person....


Okay - maybe give her sometime as every day might be too intense. How long ago did you tell her?
Original post by Jack22031994
Okay - maybe give her sometime as every day might be too intense. How long ago did you tell her?


Several months or so...at that time we went about a month without talking which was probably a good thing
We started talking again and I thought things were normalising but as I still fancied her and knew I had to get over her I just one day decided (about 2 weeks ago) not to initiate...and since then...nothing!
Original post by Anonymous
Several months or so...at that time we went about a month without talking which was probably a good thing
We started talking again and I thought things were normalising but as I still fancied her and knew I had to get over her I just one day decided (about 2 weeks ago) not to initiate...and since then...nothing!


Okay but she has been on holiday right?
Original post by Jack22031994
Okay but she has been on holiday right?


ye...but she has her phone with her
Original post by Anonymous
ye...but she has her phone with her


Yeah but she is on holiday. She's not going to talk as much. I know I dont when I'm on holiday
Original post by Jack22031994
Yeah but she is on holiday. She's not going to talk as much. I know I dont when I'm on holiday


ok, maybe...I suppose I'll find out when she gets back! haha
but assuming she doesn't initiate even then, is it better to assume she's not really interested in maintaing the friendship
I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable...I'd rather know when to stop than keep on pushing her
Original post by Anonymous
ok, maybe...I suppose I'll find out when she gets back! haha
but assuming she doesn't initiate even then, is it better to assume she's not really interested in maintaing the friendship


Yeah text her that you hope she enjoys the rest of her holiday and look forward to hearing about when she gets back.

You might be able to gauge what she wants from her reply to that I think
Original post by Jack22031994
Yeah text her that you hope she enjoys the rest of her holiday and look forward to hearing about when she gets back.

You might be able to gauge what she wants from her reply to that I think


ok thanks :smile:

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