To Weird or Not To Weird - That Is The Question

[not strictly romantic relationships, but just relationships with people in general - didn't know where else to put it. Plus I really wanna remain anonymous on this]

Okay, so, I'm weird. I don't know why - I didn't even know I was weird until I started to get bullied about it. I seem to stick out in every way - my mannerisms, my thoughts, my interests, my sense of humour, body language, ect - and I don't really know the cause. The bullying really got to me and probably is the thing that contributed most to my social anxiety and need to be 'normal'.

I don't exactly know what's weird about me, just that I am weird. I've been told on so many occasions that I'm weird (read: not weird in a stalker way, or in a creepy way, just in a weird way). They say I'm weird in a 'good' way, and while I'm not sure if you even can be weird in a good way, I'm sure I'm not 'weird' like some serial killer or that guy from the Silence of the Lambs.

I changed schools about 4 years ago and the bullying stopped - but I spent the 4 years at my new school being quiet, shy, afraid of people and afraid to show any part of my personality or get to know anyone for fear of them thinking I was 'weird'. I tried to be like them and mold my body language to theirs and do all the things they did and stop myself doing the things I would've done normally. The longer I stay quiet, the worse my anxiety gets. I somehow got to know a group of friends who I can be myself around during this time, and I'm really thankful to them.

However, as a result of this no-one knows who I really am and I have to spend my life effectively lying to them while they think I'm someone I'm not. I'm taken to be a shy introvert who dislikes people when I'm actually the most person-centric person I know. I'm actually enfj, and I live to make people happy, and the more people I can befriend and go out with and chill with the happier I'll be. I'd love to be able to show who I really am and hopefully get to know more people, but I'm so afraid of being bullied again, and I'm very sensitive about what people think about me. Is it worth the risk?

And so, friends, this is my question:

To weird or not to weird?

You sound like a really nice person screw the people who have bullied you and said that you're weird, they're not worth your time and it's really not worth listening to and believing them. Of course it is! show who you really are because there's nothing wrong with you, you're unique and awesome and they have nothing on you

Thanks for the advice! It genuinely helped. I'm definitely going to try that in September if I don't get too anxious lel.