Im terrified of dying, what can i do?

I have a big fear of dying. I have always been scared since i was a child but i used to ignore it, pretend it didn't exist, i would change the lyrics in songs from "die" to cry and if people made comments about dying id say "dont say that" i'd just full on avoid it.
but in the last 2 weeks its been playing in my head, every single day. I think it started from reading the news and seeing stuff about death, just thinking about people dying and dying young, someone i knows boyfriend and brother died in an accident, another person i went to school with got stabbed and died, i read about a whole family dying in a horrific car crash on the motorway recently, there's terror attacks killing people, talk of war, stabbings happening almost daily where i live, health problems develop in people and so much more.. death is everywhere and i don't feel safe. I started to think that I'm not special, i could leave the house now and something bad could happen to me, you just never know and its terrifying, it's terrifying thinking i could be gone tomorrow. I dont know how to cope knowing that, its making me depressed like its constantly on my mind, I'm scared to leave my house or get in a car because i feel more safe here in my bed, i just spend my days in bed, sleeping a lot, I hardly have even eaten or had a shower. I don't want to die, not ever really but especially not young. I dont know what to do! I wish I didn't care but i do, i care so much. I have been googling, reading peoples stories and advice, trying to feel better about it all and i know that when it happens I won't really know but I'm still scared and even though it could happen now, it could also not, i could live till I'm old but i just dont know for sure and that's terrifying me. I really try to just accept it but it doesn't last long till I'm petrified again. I just dont know how to cope knowing what i know and i dont know how to be myself again, how can i be happy and care free every day and care about things like how my hair and make up looks, with the worry I'm going to die or something bad is going to happen. Its ****ed up, so ****ed up. I just dont know what to do :/

Reply 1

stormeranna

6

Original post by Fmuecek

I have a big fear of dying. I have always been scared since i was a child but i used to ignore it, pretend it didn't exist, i would change the lyrics in songs from "die" to cry and if people made comments about dying id say "dont say that" i'd just full on avoid it.
but in the last 2 weeks its been playing in my head, every single day. I think it started from reading the news and seeing stuff about death, just thinking about people dying and dying young, someone i knows boyfriend and brother died in an accident, another person i went to school with got stabbed and died, i read about a whole family dying in a horrific car crash on the motorway recently, there's terror attacks killing people, talk of war, stabbings happening almost daily where i live, health problems develop in people and so much more.. death is everywhere and i don't feel safe. I started to think that I'm not special, i could leave the house now and something bad could happen to me, you just never know and its terrifying, it's terrifying thinking i could be gone tomorrow. I dont know how to cope knowing that, its making me depressed like its constantly on my mind, I'm scared to leave my house or get in a car because i feel more safe here in my bed, i just spend my days in bed, sleeping a lot, I hardly have even eaten or had a shower. I don't want to die, not ever really but especially not young. I dont know what to do! I wish I didn't care but i do, i care so much. I have been googling, reading peoples stories and advice, trying to feel better about it all and i know that when it happens I won't really know but I'm still scared and even though it could happen now, it could also not, i could live till I'm old but i just dont know for sure and that's terrifying me. I really try to just accept it but it doesn't last long till I'm petrified again. I just dont know how to cope knowing what i know and i dont know how to be myself again, how can i be happy and care free every day and care about things like how my hair and make up looks, with the worry I'm going to die or something bad is going to happen. Its ****ed up, so ****ed up. I just dont know what to do :/

I
I'm right there with you... I have OCD and a lot of the compulsions I have are as a result of over-fearing mortality. Don't know what to say to actually help you, but you're not alone x

Reply 2

Changing Skies

22

I'm really sorry to hear you're having to deal with this :frown:

it must be so difficult for you and I can't imagine how it's making you feel. Have you considered speaking to a professional? There will be so many people in your situation and there will be someone out there who could really help with how you've been feeling. You could speak to your GP and they might be able to point you in the right direction. If this doesn't sound like something you'd be up for just yet, is there someone close to you who you could confide in? :frown:

people are always there to listen and keeping it bottled up won't help the problem at all.

I'm always here if you need someone :hugs:

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 3

(づ￣ ³￣)づ

16

Living in fear of something out of your control is pointless, accept the bitter sweet truth that with life comes death, you won't be here forever so make the most of it.

Edit: I see we're on the same wave length , PRSOM.

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 4

ChaoticButterfly

20

It's called Death Anxiety.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_anxiety_(psychology)

Welcome to the club. Pretty much every single human has it. What you get for being a highly sentient animal that is self aware :-/

If it is bothering you that much you can actually go talk to a professional about it. I didn't go to specifically deal with death anxiety but it is something I talked about during cognitive behavioural therapy.

Reply 5

sunburnt.penguin

3

I would try going to see your GP, maybe they can refer you for some form of counselling to help you overcome your fears. It's a scary thought and I think everyone is at least slightly afraid of death, but allowing it to take over all of your thoughts and affect your everyday life isn't good. A trained professional can help you through it and help you to start living your life fully again.

Reply 6

catsmeow_at_me

14

I have this. Sometimes I lay in bed trying to sleep and I just get a sudden thought of fear that one day i'm going to die and my friends'family/boyfriend will. I worries me, but I just try to think everyone is in the same boat. I do have a death anxiety though so i know its not easy to just think that way.

But just staying in all the time will make it a lot worse, and you don't want to waste the life you have worrying about something that happens to everyone? You have to enjoy the life you do have! I know it's hard to think that way when your anxiety is high, but coming from someone who has suffered with anxiety, I know sitting around worrying makes it 10 times worse!

Reply 7

username2926188

21

I just pray that my death isn't violent

Reply 8

itwtyped

9

Let go of your fear. Not to belittle the impending abyss, but it’s really no big deal. The vast sea of nothingness after your die is no different than the vast sea of nothingness before you were born, and yet you’re not the least bit terrified of what happens before birth. Why, then, are you so terrified of what happens after death?

Reply 9

Commandomonkey

7

Original post by Fmuecek

I have a big fear of dying. I have always been scared since i was a child but i used to ignore it, pretend it didn't exist, i would change the lyrics in songs from "die" to cry and if people made comments about dying id say "dont say that" i'd just full on avoid it.
but in the last 2 weeks its been playing in my head, every single day. I think it started from reading the news and seeing stuff about death, just thinking about people dying and dying young, someone i knows boyfriend and brother died in an accident, another person i went to school with got stabbed and died, i read about a whole family dying in a horrific car crash on the motorway recently, there's terror attacks killing people, talk of war, stabbings happening almost daily where i live, health problems develop in people and so much more.. death is everywhere and i don't feel safe. I started to think that I'm not special, i could leave the house now and something bad could happen to me, you just never know and its terrifying, it's terrifying thinking i could be gone tomorrow. I dont know how to cope knowing that, its making me depressed like its constantly on my mind, I'm scared to leave my house or get in a car because i feel more safe here in my bed, i just spend my days in bed, sleeping a lot, I hardly have even eaten or had a shower. I don't want to die, not ever really but especially not young. I dont know what to do! I wish I didn't care but i do, i care so much. I have been googling, reading peoples stories and advice, trying to feel better about it all and i know that when it happens I won't really know but I'm still scared and even though it could happen now, it could also not, i could live till I'm old but i just dont know for sure and that's terrifying me. I really try to just accept it but it doesn't last long till I'm petrified again. I just dont know how to cope knowing what i know and i dont know how to be myself again, how can i be happy and care free every day and care about things like how my hair and make up looks, with the worry I'm going to die or something bad is going to happen. Its ****ed up, so ****ed up. I just dont know what to do :/

I used to be like this when I was younger. Firstly I'd recommend to avoid the news as much as possible really; most people would say that's not good but it keeps the spirits up. The main thing I sort of formed was a sort of faith that whatever higher power there is has some sort of plan for me, and that by the time I die I'll be ready. Idk this kinda just came about from worrying about death for a while and then realising I hadn't died yet. Also there are many interesting theories, like the Many Worlds theory, that might help put your mind at ease. Idk if this helped but I hope you feel better soon.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

This is like a fear of the sun coming up. Death is inevitable and unchangeable and is a part of life, so better get over this fear sooner rather later. See a therapist.

Reply 11

username2763536

15

We are going to die and that makes us the lucky ones.Most people are not going to die because they are never going to be born.You are looking at it the wrong way.You can either complain that you are going to die or you can marvel at how very unlikely it is that you are alive in the first place.Literally trillions to one odds of you being here.Yet there you are.I would enjoy it while you can.

Reply 12

faloodeh

18

same, sometimes i just wish i was a dog

theres nothing you can do really, apart from talking to a pro/trying to come to terms with the inevitability of death

Reply 13

username3523240

4

1) I can't imagine someone who isn't afraid of death. You may be overfearing it due to stress, personal incidents or something else.

2) Everyone will die. That's a fact. You just have to enjoy your life and fill it with what you think will keep you happy.

3) You mentioned fear of a sudden death or the idea that you might die very soon. Why? Is your neighbourhood particuarly unsafe? Take a breath and think. War or stabbings are considerably unlikely. Getting run over by a car/slipping in a shower/an accident along those lines can be avoided easily if one pays attention or is careful around a sitaution they know to be possibly dangerous.

4) Been mentioned quite a lot, but first of all, take a breath and calm yourself down a bit. If you feel anxiety, speak to a confidant and a professional. They will have advice and comfort.

I very much hope this will help. Stay strong!

Reply 14

ChaoticButterfly

20

Original post by faloodeh

same, sometimes i just wish i was a dog

Or spend every waking moment around dogs.

Reply 15

jkls92

20

Original post by Fmuecek

I have a big fear of dying. I have always been scared since i was a child but i used to ignore it, pretend it didn't exist, i would change the lyrics in songs from "die" to cry and if people made comments about dying id say "dont say that" i'd just full on avoid it.
but in the last 2 weeks its been playing in my head, every single day. I think it started from reading the news and seeing stuff about death, just thinking about people dying and dying young, someone i knows boyfriend and brother died in an accident, another person i went to school with got stabbed and died, i read about a whole family dying in a horrific car crash on the motorway recently, there's terror attacks killing people, talk of war, stabbings happening almost daily where i live, health problems develop in people and so much more.. death is everywhere and i don't feel safe. I started to think that I'm not special, i could leave the house now and something bad could happen to me, you just never know and its terrifying, it's terrifying thinking i could be gone tomorrow. I dont know how to cope knowing that, its making me depressed like its constantly on my mind, I'm scared to leave my house or get in a car because i feel more safe here in my bed, i just spend my days in bed, sleeping a lot, I hardly have even eaten or had a shower. I don't want to die, not ever really but especially not young. I dont know what to do! I wish I didn't care but i do, i care so much. I have been googling, reading peoples stories and advice, trying to feel better about it all and i know that when it happens I won't really know but I'm still scared and even though it could happen now, it could also not, i could live till I'm old but i just dont know for sure and that's terrifying me. I really try to just accept it but it doesn't last long till I'm petrified again. I just dont know how to cope knowing what i know and i dont know how to be myself again, how can i be happy and care free every day and care about things like how my hair and make up looks, with the worry I'm going to die or something bad is going to happen. Its ****ed up, so ****ed up. I just dont know what to do :/

Read the letters to lucilius by Seneca. If you are lazy and unserious about this read abstracts. Stoicism explains why it is irrational to worry about death.

We die everyday. Death is behind us. Every day we live is a day less, we should try to make the most out of it. People live 100 years and haven't done anything valuable or virtuous or significant. They haven't lived 100 years, they have wasted 100 years. Lucan died at 25 forced to kill himself by Nero. But he made use of that time and by the age of 20 had already written his Pharsalia, the best epic of his century (and of many centuries to follow), a book which celebrated not the gods or Rome or caesars, but liberty. Had he written a poem celebrating the imperator, like everyone did, he could have lived longer, but actually he would have wasted his life. Men worry so much about the time they have, yet they dispose of it like it's endless and of no value, they squander time on sleep, inactivity and vile entertainment. We should stop worrying about how long we live, which is out of our control and also unimportant, and start worrying about what is truly meaningful: HOW we live, how we use that time we have.

You ask what is the longest possible lifespan. To live until you reach sageness.

People who die having done what they liked and wanted, what was truly right for them, those are happier in death than you'll ever be in life.

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 16

jkls92

20

Original post by Googawang

1) I can't imagine someone who isn't afraid of death. You may be overfearing it due to stress, personal incidents or something else.

2) Everyone will die. That's a fact. You just have to enjoy your life and fill it with what you think will keep you happy.

3) You mentioned fear of a sudden death or the idea that you might die very soon. Why? Is your neighbourhood particuarly unsafe? Take a breath and think. War or stabbings are considerably unlikely. Getting run over by a car/slipping in a shower/an accident along those lines can be avoided easily if one pays attention or is careful around a sitaution they know to be possibly dangerous.

4) Been mentioned quite a lot, but first of all, take a breath and calm yourself down a bit. If you feel anxiety, speak to a confidant and a professional. They will have advice and comfort.

I very much hope this will help. Stay strong!

I am not afraid of death as I have interiorised stoic theory on this argument.

Reply 17

Oakeye

2

I'm scared shitless of dying, but life is for the living. Don't let the fear cripple you. Fill your days perusing the things you love because one day it'll all be over. Worry about dying when you die. Until then get out of bed a grab life by the balls.