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I can't get over my Oxbridge rejection depression

I applied to Cambridge last year and was interviewed at Kings College Cambridge after years of dreaming of getting in and working really hard. I did this despite being from a very low income background, with no academic parents or support. However, I messed up in my interview really badly because of how nervous and unprepared I was. I have obviously read quite a lot (applied for English Literature) but I hadn't read all of the classical texts they probably wanted me to, didn't know how to respond to that environment and just kept saying the first thing that came to my head rather than thinking about the question. I didn't act like myself at all! I'm at Kings College London now and although I like it, I still feel like the Cambridge course was the dream because of how comprehensive it was, and I'm constantly self-deprecating myself because I feel like I was just so unintelligent in the interview. I keep thinking about how much happier I would be at a smaller college like Newnham College Cambridge, which I had wanted to apply to in the first place but was discouraged by someone who said it wasn't as good. I don't know how to get over Cambridge because I think I would probably get rejected if I applied again due to how nervous i get in interviews, but I find it so hard to let go of because I worked so hard and got 4 A* at a-level and have wanted it for so long.

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Original post by Serena k poodles
I applied to Cambridge last year and was interviewed at Kings College Cambridge after years of dreaming of getting in and working really hard. I did this despite being from a very low income background, with no academic parents or support. However, I messed up in my interview really badly because of how nervous and unprepared I was. I have obviously read quite a lot (applied for English Literature) but I hadn't read all of the classical texts they probably wanted me to, didn't know how to respond to that environment and just kept saying the first thing that came to my head rather than thinking about the question. I didn't act like myself at all! I'm at Kings College London now and although I like it, I still feel like the Cambridge course was the dream because of how comprehensive it was, and I'm constantly self-deprecating myself because I feel like I was just so unintelligent in the interview. I keep thinking about how much happier I would be at a smaller college like Newnham College Cambridge, which I had wanted to apply to in the first place but was discouraged by someone who said it wasn't as good. I don't know how to get over Cambridge because I think I would probably get rejected if I applied again due to how nervous i get in interviews, but I find it so hard to let go of because I worked so hard and got 4 A* at a-level and have wanted it for so long.
:console: It can be hard:sadnod:

My advice would be to find a way of challenging yourself. Academically, the Cambridge course would be challenging enough. At KCL you will (likely) be amongst the most talented judging by your results.:smile: So find another way to push yourself and get engaging with things. Maybe join some extra-curricular stuff or get involved with your Students Union? See how far you can go with that stuff (keeping your marks high meanwhile:wink:) and you can achieve great things.

We've all experienced rejection in our lives in one way or another. And often it's simply meant to be. I had lots of my hopes pinned on my firm university, and missed out. Which is a very similar situation to whether or not I got into a grammar school at age 10.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.:h:
Original post by 04MR17
:console: It can be hard:sadnod:

My advice would be to find a way of challenging yourself. Academically, the Cambridge course would be challenging enough. At KCL you will (likely) be amongst the most talented judging by your results.:smile: So find another way to push yourself and get engaging with things. Maybe join some extra-curricular stuff or get involved with your Students Union? See how far you can go with that stuff (keeping your marks high meanwhile:wink:) and you can achieve great things.

We've all experienced rejection in our lives in one way or another. And often it's simply meant to be. I had lots of my hopes pinned on my firm university, and missed out. Which is a very similar situation to whether or not I got into a grammar school at age 10.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.:h:





Thanks for the reply :smile:, I completely understand what you're saying and I have signed up to be a student representative and have joined societies and am always doing extra work. I still feel like something is missing though and I keep thinking about Newhnam and how I feel I would be so much happier there. I am torn because half of me desperately wants to work hard on a new application and reapply more prepared, but I only have until the 15th of October. I don't know if any teachers would be willing to look at my application considering i'm considering dropping out and I worry that if I drop out and get rejected from Cambridge again i can't realistically apply for postgrad. My GCSES also weren't amazing but i got 4 A* 5Aa, 1 B and I got an A in a politics AS-level a year early.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Serena k poodles
Thanks for the reply :smile:, I completely understand what you're saying and I have signed up to be a student representative and have joined societies and am always doing extra work. I still feel like something is missing though and I keep thinking about Newhnam and how I feel I would be so much happier there. I am torn because half of me desperately wants to work hard on a new application and reapply more prepared, but I only have until the 15th of October. I don't know if any teachers would be willing to look at my application considering i'm considering dropping out and I worry that if I drop out and get rejected from Cambridge again i can't realistically apply for postgrad
Postgrad is a great thing to aim for though. Listen, it's up to you, but my advice would be to make the most of KCL, then wonder about the possibilities for later. Lots of people would dream of KCL, so grab what you've got with both hands!
Original post by Serena k poodles
I applied to Cambridge last year and was interviewed at Kings College Cambridge after years of dreaming of getting in and working really hard. I did this despite being from a very low income background, with no academic parents or support. However, I messed up in my interview really badly because of how nervous and unprepared I was. I have obviously read quite a lot (applied for English Literature) but I hadn't read all of the classical texts they probably wanted me to, didn't know how to respond to that environment and just kept saying the first thing that came to my head rather than thinking about the question. I didn't act like myself at all! I'm at Kings College London now and although I like it, I still feel like the Cambridge course was the dream because of how comprehensive it was, and I'm constantly self-deprecating myself because I feel like I was just so unintelligent in the interview. I keep thinking about how much happier I would be at a smaller college like Newnham College Cambridge, which I had wanted to apply to in the first place but was discouraged by someone who said it wasn't as good. I don't know how to get over Cambridge because I think I would probably get rejected if I applied again due to how nervous i get in interviews, but I find it so hard to let go of because I worked so hard and got 4 A* at a-level and have wanted it for so long.


Are you in your first year at KCL? If so, you've barely been there a few weeks at most. Give yourself time to settle in, would be my advice. KCL is a fantastic uni and whilst you might be disappointed now about not getting into Cambridge, you're hardly going to do badly graduating from KCL and I would be willing to bet good money than in a few months' time, these feelings won't be as strong, if they're there at all!

Don't define yourself by a uni rejection. As has been advised, make the most of all the opportunities available to you at KCL. The world is still your oyster :h:
Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
Don't define yourself by a uni rejection. As has been advised, make the most of all the opportunities available to you at KCL. The world is still your oyster :h:
on a side note, I think we should find some articles about incredibly successful/famous people who got rejected from Oxbridge or their first choice university...
Original post by 04MR17
on a side note, I think we should find some articles about incredibly successful/famous people who got rejected from Oxbridge or their first choice university...


Thanks for all the advice and supportive comments guys. I still feel that I really want to have gone to oxford however, as I think that the courses at both institutions are amazing. But I think that it is too much of a risk to drop out of kings and I'm not sure if I'm smart enough for oxford. If I were to do a year at Kings, however, and I still wanted to go to Oxford, would it be possible to reapply in October next year? That being said, I'm not sure how I would feel about having to do a gap year if I did get in
(edited 6 years ago)
Don't worry, I have depression from rejection too... except it was sort of worse as I got rejected from Oxford, Lse and ucl.
It's something you learn to live with, and just move on. Can't do anything about it, but live in the present. Many great opportunities will come to us regardless! Sure life probably would have been better at Oxbridge or whatever, but that's done.
Just move on at Kings and enjoy your time and future.
This is just like me, I got rejected from Cambridge last year. Weirdly, I was supposed to also being going KCL and got 4A* haha. I'm currently on a gap year and just sent my application off for Cambridge again. But the main reason was that I changed subject, I hated the subject I was previously doing and I think my lack of enthusiasm showed in the interview. I probably would have gone to King's if I stayed with the same subject. I don't really see Oxbridge as the be all and end all, I just thought I'd be stupid not to re-apply with my grades! I think King's is still top notch, but if Oxbridge is really important to you, go for it!
(edited 6 years ago)
I'm applying to Oxford this year and despite knowing it's a long shot I'll get in, I still can't help feeling the same as you if I get rejected as I really love everything about it.

It sucks if you genuinely think the only reason you got rejected was nerves, but see it as a positive. I'm applying to Oxford with the approach that if I don't get in it's because I wasn't good enough, and they have a very rigorous system (admissions tests and interviews) to determine who is best suited to the course. Ultimately, I don't want to end up at a university I would struggle in because I wasn't right for the course. Right now, I see the course as being my "dream course" as you do - but the tutors know the course a lot better than me and you have to trust that they make the right choice.

I'd give KCL a bit more of a chance - you've not been there long and it's a really good university. You can always apply to Cambridge for postgrad :smile: just remember that the majority of uni students don't get into Oxbridge and the fact you tried your hardest was all you could do - it's better to try and fail than not really care and fail because at least you won't be thinking you could've done more.

Good luck with everything!
Original post by Cxletteee
I'm applying to Oxford this year and despite knowing it's a long shot I'll get in, I still can't help feeling the same as you if I get rejected as I really love everything about it.

It sucks if you genuinely think the only reason you got rejected was nerves, but see it as a positive. I'm applying to Oxford with the approach that if I don't get in it's because I wasn't good enough, and they have a very rigorous system (admissions tests and interviews) to determine who is best suited to the course. Ultimately, I don't want to end up at a university I would struggle in because I wasn't right for the course. Right now, I see the course as being my "dream course" as you do - but the tutors know the course a lot better than me and you have to trust that they make the right choice.
You contradict yourself. Oxford do not measure who is "good enough" they measure who has the capability to do well on their course. A Levels are a different measure of being "good enough" an awful and inaccurate measure of "good enough", I grant you, but a different measure all the same.

It's almost impossible to accurately measure academic ability. All Oxford do is assess who has the right aptitude for their course.

My advice would be to go into your application process with nothing to lose. Don't expect an interview, certainly don't expect an offer. Because the odds are against you. That's not me suggesting you won't get one, who am I to know? It's me suggesting the best attitude to have.:smile:

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.:wink:
Original post by 04MR17
You contradict yourself. Oxford do not measure who is "good enough" they measure who has the capability to do well on their course. A Levels are a different measure of being "good enough" an awful and inaccurate measure of "good enough", I grant you, but a different measure all the same.

It's almost impossible to accurately measure academic ability. All Oxford do is assess who has the right aptitude for their course.

My advice would be to go into your application process with nothing to lose. Don't expect an interview, certainly don't expect an offer. Because the odds are against you. That's not me suggesting you won't get one, who am I to know? It's me suggesting the best attitude to have.:smile:

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.:wink:


Ahh, yes what you've said is right - when I said I wouldn't be "good enough" I meant in terms of coping with the demands of the course (so being good enough would mean being right for the course), rather than in reference to A Levels. Yeah, that's a very good mentality - at the moment, I'm really hoping for an interview just because it'd be nice to stay in an Oxford college for a couple of days, but I'm going to assume it's a long shot I'll get one and if I do, a *very* long shot I'll get an offer. The acceptance rate for my course is 16% so the odds don't exactly work in anyone's favour :tongue:
Original post by Cxletteee
Ahh, yes what you've said is right - when I said I wouldn't be "good enough" I meant in terms of coping with the demands of the course (so being good enough would mean being right for the course), rather than in reference to A Levels. Yeah, that's a very good mentality - at the moment, I'm really hoping for an interview just because it'd be nice to stay in an Oxford college for a couple of days, but I'm going to assume it's a long shot I'll get one and if I do, a *very* long shot I'll get an offer. The acceptance rate for my course is 16% so the odds don't exactly work in anyone's favour :tongue:
It's not just workload. If you are notably uncomfortable during the interview, then maybe a course where there are lots of tutorials/supervisions isn't right for you? The interview is designed to replicate this environment to assess whether it suits you or not.:wink:

What's the interview rate out of interest?
Original post by 04MR17
It's not just workload. If you are notably uncomfortable during the interview, then maybe a course where there are lots of tutorials/supervisions isn't right for you? The interview is designed to replicate this environment to assess whether it suits you or not.:wink:

What's the interview rate out of interest?


At the moment I can't tell how I'm going to be in interview - I can be quiet at times but I also love talking about my subject so fingers crossed my enthusiasm will come across and I'm not too nervous (if I get one).

I think it's a little lower than 1/3 ... As 54% get an interview and 16% get in (they're both 3 year averages)

Edit: I just realised you were asking what % get an interview rather than what % get in from interview but both are there anyway :smile:)
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Cxletteee
At the moment I can't tell how I'm going to be in interview - I can be quiet at times but I also love talking about my subject so fingers crossed my enthusiasm will come across and I'm not too nervous (if I get one).

I think it's a little lower than 1/3 ... As 54% get an interview and 16% get in (they're both 3 year averages)
Okay so you have a 50/50 chance of an interview. That is the only thing to focus on right now.:wink:

What course you studying?*

*or want to...
Original post by 04MR17
Okay so you have a 50/50 chance of an interview. That is the only thing to focus on right now.:wink:

What course you studying?


I'm studying psychology and philosophy - in the TSA tests I tend to be getting what seems like should be fine for an interview but my GCSEs are relatively weak (4A* 7A 1B) which might mean that I need to do extra well to guarantee I get one.
Original post by Cxletteee
I'm studying psychology and philosophy - in the TSA tests I tend to be getting what seems like should be fine for an interview but my GCSEs are relatively weak (4A* 7A 1B) which might mean that I need to do extra well to guarantee I get one.
Ooh nice.:beard: My GCSEs were weaker than that and I still got a Cambridge offer. (Admittedly for Education Studies which is a lot less popular)

So if you want interview advice let me know.:wink:
Original post by 04MR17
Ooh nice.:beard: My GCSEs were weaker and I still got a Cambridge offer. (Admittedly for Education Studies which is a lot less popular)

So if you want interview advice let me know.:wink:


Ahh congrats - are you at Cambridge still?
Thank you very much; I might take you up on that if I get one :smile:)
Original post by Cxletteee
Ahh congrats - are you at Cambridge still?
Thank you very much; I might take you up on that if I get one :smile:)
:nope: see here for what happened with me and Cambridge.:redface:

Also thanks to a deeply flawed exam system, I wouldn't have got the grades anyway.:emo:
You've got about 6 days to leave your current Uni and then apply to Cambridge before the deadline's up. But then again, you would risk losing your current Uni position just to potentially get turned down again so it's up to you. With a lot of things in life, you'll learn to get over it :smile:

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