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To be annoyed at my housemate's boyfriend's moving in?

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Reply 40
Avatar for loveleest
loveleest
OP
21
Original post by zyzzyspirit
Try to bang him to get back at them. Works most of the time, or so I heard


erm...what?!
Original post by loveleest
Okay so I have been living in my student house for about two weeks now and one of my housemates boyfriend has moved in. At first he informed he would be staying over for a week but it's been about just over two weeks since he has been here and it doesn't look like he would be moving out soon. He told me he would be staying here for a week due to the fact that he needs to find a house however I have no idea why it would still take him this long to this day.

My other house mate informed me not too long ago that she would be bringing her boyfriend from abroad and he will be living with us. She did mention he will split the bills but this is not what I asked for. I asked to share a house with 3 other girls not 3 girls and 2 guys and now the whole thing is annoying me and I have to pretend I am okay with it to avoid any arguments. More people just means less time and more time consuming and I don't want to share with 2 more guys. 3 girls is what I wanted. I just find it plain awkward and my housemate just only pretty much hangs out with her boyfriend in the house like it's difficult for me to build a connection with her.

I am quite annoyed about this and I want to think whether or not I am exaggerating this whole situation. Do you think it's fair for my house mates to do this?


Damn, women though.

If it were guys, the questions will be "how can i get my housemate's girlfriend into introduce me to her fit bestfriend" or "I just found out my housemate's girlfriend's cousin is single. How do i approach her?"

For my opinion, i think you will have to be honest and direct, so you dont resent them more. Ask them when they will be moving out . Then jokingly say that they are now tenants and have to sign the contract as well.

If not, then you move out. Good luck
Reply 42
Avatar for loveleest
loveleest
OP
21
Original post by Bengali FishFace
Here I am giving helpful advice. A threesome will help to ease the awkwardness.

And you insult me, okay then!

**** you!


Yeah absolutely...
Reply 43
Avatar for loveleest
loveleest
OP
21
Original post by Wired_1800
Damn, women though.

If it were guys, the questions will be "how can i get my housemate's girlfriend into introduce me to her fit bestfriend" or "I just found out my housemate's girlfriend's cousin is single. How do i approach her?"

For my opinion, i think you will have to be honest and direct, so you dont resent them more. Ask them when they will be moving out . Then jokingly say that they are now tenants and have to sign the contract as well.

If not, then you move out. Good luck


Interesting! Perhaps I should give that a go..hmm.
And I cannot move out unfortunately.
Original post by loveleest
Interesting! Perhaps I should give that a go..hmm.
And I cannot move out unfortunately.


:biggrin:

Speak to them. Dont suffer in silence
Reply 45
Avatar for loveleest
loveleest
OP
21
Original post by Wired_1800
:biggrin:

Speak to them. Dont suffer in silence


lmao. They are chinese international students so it won't work. nvm.
Original post by King Leonidas
Personally, I think you're exaggerating to be honest.

Please explain how him being there (with his GF) is affecting your accommodation arrangements/experience in a negative way.


Are you joking? More intrusion, less food in the fridge, less privacy etc etc etc. It's very disrespectful and selfish. I'm sure it's against the rules too.
Original post by loveleest
lmao. They are chinese international students so it won't work. nvm.


I think you are a black woman? If so, use your "black girl magic"
Reply 48
Avatar for loveleest
loveleest
OP
21
Original post by Wired_1800
I think you are a black woman? If so, use your "black girl magic"


Wow, was that an attempt for a funny joke or what? lol
invite me over to get back at them
Original post by loveleest
Okay so I have been living in my student house for about two weeks now and one of my housemates boyfriend has moved in. At first he informed he would be staying over for a week but it's been about just over two weeks since he has been here and it doesn't look like he would be moving out soon. He told me he would be staying here for a week due to the fact that he needs to find a house however I have no idea why it would still take him this long to this day.

My other house mate informed me not too long ago that she would be bringing her boyfriend from abroad and he will be living with us. She did mention he will split the bills but this is not what I asked for. I asked to share a house with 3 other girls not 3 girls and 2 guys and now the whole thing is annoying me and I have to pretend I am okay with it to avoid any arguments. More people just means less time and more time consuming and I don't want to share with 2 more guys. 3 girls is what I wanted. I just find it plain awkward and my housemate just only pretty much hangs out with her boyfriend in the house like it's difficult for me to build a connection with her.

I am quite annoyed about this and I want to think whether or not I am exaggerating this whole situation. Do you think it's fair for my house mates to do this?


I am really sorry to hear about your situation, I cant imagine what your feeling after just having moved in.

My best advice for now is 100% talk to your flat mates, get all 4 girls together for a house meeting and explain to them not just how you feel, but how this could impact on you all. For example if one boyfriend is "paying his way" this is known as subletting and is illegal, and if they break anything then you will be liable not them. Also if they aren't at university and living there permanently you could be fraudulently avoiding council tax by not declaring them as residents. Not to mention your landlord may not be insured for that many tenants. Its a logistical mess and I would explain to them that you dont feel its appropriate because you signed the tenancy with 4 people and are not comfortable sharing with more, and also that you need to inform the landlord if they are staying permanently to avoid you or him getting into any financial or legal trouble. This could get very serious quickly, its just a joke and you know it. I would approach them reasonably and logically, but if they are rude, unwilling to compromise or unfair then I would seek advice from the university support service and see what they say about talking to your landlord.
I would avoid approaching your landlord without advice as you could risk being evicted and voiding your deposit.

if there are 6 of you now in a house for 4 people is it not worth one of the housemates moving out with her boyfriend into a flat and then the other boyfriend taking over her room. This would be easily settled with the landlord and be all above board.

Personally I would feel very uncomfortable in this situation because its not what you signed up for, and when living with people transparency and honesty is the key to getting along.

If you need any more advice feel free to PM me, Best of luck with everything.
Original post by loveleest
Wow, was that an attempt for a funny joke or what? lol


It was not a funny joke. If you are not black, then my bad.
Original post by King Leonidas
You said he'd split the bills...

Honestly, if it bothers you that much then just transfer to another accommodation. If you kick up a fuss and start bringing pedantic issues about contracts and strangers into the mix, then it's likely you'll rub your housemates up the wrong way and make it awkward.


ik I'm late but I'm shocked that people can't see why 5 people living in a 3 person accommodation would be annoying. We have the right amount of people in ours and still I'm struggling for cupboard and fridge space. Living with 2 more would be incredibly annoying. Not to mention longer waits to use the shower/toilet. And a higher electricity+gas bill. And more noise than planned. Less cooking space.

Plus just the fact that the additional people wouldn't be my friends would make it awkward. I wouldn't have chosen to live with them unlike the rest of the people. You have to sympathise with OP a bit lol
(edited 6 years ago)
Get legal advice from your citizens advice bureau and the SU. Also speak to the landlord about it but explain that you may not want to rock the boat w housemates he should understand.

Would **** me off TBH. You are not paying for their bills etc. and if they are messy and take over the living spaces its not what u signed up for. Living with couples is VERY different to two other girls. If they had their BF over a lot would be different.
Also an addition to my post before, if 5 of you are living there it shouldnt be you paying 1/3rd of the bills and rent, it should be split 5 ways!
Reply 55
Avatar for loveleest
loveleest
OP
21
Original post by Wired_1800
It was not a funny joke. If you are not black, then my bad.


hmmm..ok. And I am black :smile:
Original post by loveleest
Okay so I have been living in my student house for about two weeks now and one of my housemates boyfriend has moved in. At first he informed he would be staying over for a week but it's been about just over two weeks since he has been here and it doesn't look like he would be moving out soon. He told me he would be staying here for a week due to the fact that he needs to find a house however I have no idea why it would still take him this long to this day.

My other house mate informed me not too long ago that she would be bringing her boyfriend from abroad and he will be living with us. She did mention he will split the bills but this is not what I asked for. I asked to share a house with 3 other girls not 3 girls and 2 guys and now the whole thing is annoying me and I have to pretend I am okay with it to avoid any arguments. More people just means less time and more time consuming and I don't want to share with 2 more guys. 3 girls is what I wanted. I just find it plain awkward and my housemate just only pretty much hangs out with her boyfriend in the house like it's difficult for me to build a connection with her.

I am quite annoyed about this and I want to think whether or not I am exaggerating this whole situation. Do you think it's fair for my house mates to do this?


Unless this is affecting the logistics of the house, i.e. the ease with which you can shower, cook, dress etc., this is a complete exaggeration. I've been on the other end of this and it doesn't bode well for your relationship with your roommate to be unwelcoming to her partner just because she wants to be close to him. You're being selfish and Victorian in your social mores.
Speak with the landlord, you can't hide it forever. Plus if your housemate's boyfriend makes you that unhappy just spill the beans to the landlord and he'll deal with them
Reply 58
Avatar for nutz99
nutz99
19
Original post by Gladstone1885
Unless this is affecting the logistics of the house, i.e. the ease with which you can shower, cook, dress etc., this is a complete exaggeration. I've been on the other end of this and it doesn't bode well for your relationship with your roommate to be unwelcoming to her partner just because she wants to be close to him. You're being selfish and Victorian in your social mores.
And the housemates that moved their boyfriends in are being inconsiderate, selfish and breaking the tenancy agreement. Those boys have no legal right to be there. If those girls want to share with their boyfriends they should have been upfront from the start as I would suspect this was the plan all along.

Obviously, it has to affect the logistics of the house!

Morally and legally they should not be there.
Reply 59
Avatar for loveleest
loveleest
OP
21
Original post by Gladstone1885
Unless this is affecting the logistics of the house, i.e. the ease with which you can shower, cook, dress etc., this is a complete exaggeration. I've been on the other end of this and it doesn't bode well for your relationship with your roommate to be unwelcoming to her partner just because she wants to be close to him. You're being selfish and Victorian in your social mores.


She is allowed to bring her boyfriend in for a few night but legally she's not allowed her boyfriend to live with her. I don't get how that's selfish?

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