The Student Room Group

How do you feel about being prayed for?

Mainly aimed towards non-religious folks. How would you/do you feel about being prayed for? Not necessarily just in person but also, for example, if you messaged a friend telling them about a hard situation and they said they'd pray for you. I can understand that anyone who doesn't believe in a god/or the same God would perhaps find it pointless but would you be pleased/offended/find it awkward?

As an FYI, I'm a Christian which is really why I'm asking as it's not something I can really understand having been bought up in church. And please keep it civil, I'm not trying to convert anyone, I'd just love to hear your honest opinions and experiences!

Edited to say that I'm not looking for advice as to whether I should (as that's something I discuss with friends etc) I am purely curious as to other people's views.
(edited 6 years ago)

Scroll to see replies

It's cute that they care enough to put a word in with the big man. Would get a little awks if they're praying for me because they perceive my actions as somehow sinful and they want to "save my soul" or some such like, but otherwise it's quite endearing in a weird way
Reply 2
As a Christian, I'm interested in the replies from this thread. It's something I often do, usually telling people I will be praying for them and occasionally praying for them with them. I hope it's something people appreciate - even if they don't believe in it themselves.
It's nice that they're thinking of me, and acting on that by doing something that they believe will help me, even if I don't believe it will. I guess it's the whole 'it's the thought that counts' thing but it for me it's a lot more than that and it would definitely mean a lot since it shows that they're caring. At the same time, it wouldn't particularly comfort me or make me feel better, since as an atheist I don't believe anything good would come of it, so in some ways I would rather them just be a good friend and listen to my concerns, and perhaps try and help rather than only praying? Although, if they're already doing that then there's no harm in praying too haha.
In terms of it being awkward, I think it would only be awkward if someone said that to my face, only because I wouldn't be sure how to respond at first apart from 'thank-you' since I'm not religious myself and none of my friends are. But in no way does it offend me, I think it's a really lovely thing to do. It depends on the person I guess. Some people might be uncomfortable with you praying for them, but personally I have no issue with it whatsoever. There are definitely some more militant atheists that would probably want to start an argument about the existence of God at the mention of anything remotely religion-related, but they're probably not the nicest people to be associating yourself with anyway!
I hope this helped? I'm not sure I'm the best person to answer this and I hope it didn't come across as rude, I just live in a very atheist area I guess so religion isn't really a topic that I get to talk about much.
“What right have you to pray for me? I need no intercessor, I shall manage alone. The prayers of a wretch I might accept, but no one else’s, not even a saint’s. I cannot bear your bothering about my salvation. If I apprehend salvation and flee it, your prayers are merely an indiscretion. Invest them elsewhere; in any case, we do not serve the same gods. If mine are impotent, there is every reason to believe yours are no less so. Even assuming they are as you imagine them, they would still lack the power to cure me of a horror older than my memory.” - EM.Cioran.

I guess its the religious version of the facebook "Sending positive vibes"
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Bubs051213
Mainly aimed towards non-religious folks. How would you/do you feel about being prayed for? Not necessarily just in person but also, for example, if you messaged a friend telling them about a hard situation and they said they'd pray for you. I can understand that anyone who doesn't believe in a god/or the same God would perhaps find it pointless but would you be pleased/offended/find it awkward?

As an FYI, I'm a Christian which is really why I'm asking as it's not something I can really understand having been bought up in church. And please keep it civil, I'm not trying to convert anyone, I'd just love to hear your honest opinions and experiences!


I would be offended.

Because it's forcing something on me that I clearly do not want. Something that Christians have shamelessly done in the past.
IMO it will do nothing, but I'd appreciate the sentiment nonetheless.
Reply 7
Original post by Retired_Messiah
It's cute that they care enough to put a word in with the big man. Would get a little awks if they're praying for me because they perceive my actions as somehow sinful and they want to "save my soul" or some such like, but otherwise it's quite endearing in a weird way


Oh goodness I can't stand it when people try and pray for other people to be 'saved', especially in front of them. It's not helpful to either party. I'm sincerely sorry if this has ever happened to you, I can't even imagine how horrifically awkward that must be!
Reply 8
Original post by umbrellala
It's nice that they're thinking of me, and acting on that by doing something that they believe will help me, even if I don't believe it will. I guess it's the whole 'it's the thought that counts' thing but it for me it's a lot more than that and it would definitely mean a lot since it shows that they're caring. At the same time, it wouldn't particularly comfort me or make me feel better, since as an atheist I don't believe anything good would come of it, so in some ways I would rather them just be a good friend and listen to my concerns, and perhaps try and help rather than only praying? Although, if they're already doing that then there's no harm in praying too haha.
In terms of it being awkward, I think it would only be awkward if someone said that to my face, only because I wouldn't be sure how to respond at first apart from 'thank-you' since I'm not religious myself and none of my friends are. But in no way does it offend me, I think it's a really lovely thing to do. It depends on the person I guess. Some people might be uncomfortable with you praying for them, but personally I have no issue with it whatsoever. There are definitely some more militant atheists that would probably want to start an argument about the existence of God at the mention of anything remotely religion-related, but they're probably not the nicest people to be associating yourself with anyway!
I hope this helped? I'm not sure I'm the best person to answer this and I hope it didn't come across as rude, I just live in a very atheist area I guess so religion isn't really a topic that I get to talk about much.


Thanks so much for such a detailed reply, it was really interesting to read your views! Thanks for answering in such a civil way. Have a wonderful evening!
Reply 9
Original post by ThePricklyOne
I would be offended.

Because it's forcing something on me that I clearly do not want. Something that Christians have shamelessly done in the past.


Thats a very valid point and I'm sorry if you've ever experienced that. I know it's not quite the same but even within the faith, I've been prayed for by an over enthusiastic person before when i didn't actually want prayer, so I can maybe understand where youre coming from a little bit. If you'd be willing to answer another question (sorry for prying) would you be automatically offended if someone offered to pray for you (whether over message or in person) but then didn't once you'd stated that you don't want them too?
If it makes them feel they are doing some good then it helps them. Doesn't make any difference to my life but won't be rude to say so.
I don't have anything against prayer. I don't really care for it. I would appreciate someone saying they would cuz they have good intentions and mean well but i don't care for it.
It’s a nice gesture at least
Original post by medicalminded
If it makes them feel they are doing some good then it helps them. Doesn't make any difference to my life but won't be rude to say so.
This

prayers basically help the people who pray : not only because it makes them feel pious and generous, but also (of course) because they may think that by praying they are actually helping someone they care about

personally, if someone were praying for me, I would first be amazed at the illogical nature of the act (why should God treat people differently, according to the number/quality of people praying for them ? why should he make special "favours", exceptions, cure some and leave others to their sufferings, send tsunamis and then "save" some particular people according to prayers, create and spread debilitating, hideous diseases and then miraculously heal "deserving" people, following prayers etc etc)

On a purely personal level, I would of course appreciate the fact that someone cares for me, even in such a weird, completely illogical way

best
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by It's****ingWOODY
IMO it will do nothing, but I'd appreciate the sentiment nonetheless.


Hey, that's not true. 😳 Prayer is like a smile or going for a jog lol. It makes you feel better and then maybe you can do better when you feel better. 😤 I wish someone would pray for me.
Original post by Salt Queen
Hey, that's not true. 😳 Prayer is like a smile or going for a jog lol. It makes you feel better and then maybe you can do better when you feel better. 😤 I wish someone would pray for me.


I mean, if you believe it's actually something that works i.e. improves the chances that things will go as you asked for in your prayer, then sure. As I said, if someone prays for me then I appreciate the thought, but let's face it - nothing bad would ever happen to the religious if prayer actually worked :wink:
Original post by Bubs051213
Thats a very valid point and I'm sorry if you've ever experienced that. I know it's not quite the same but even within the faith, I've been prayed for by an over enthusiastic person before when i didn't actually want prayer, so I can maybe understand where youre coming from a little bit. If you'd be willing to answer another question (sorry for prying) would you be automatically offended if someone offered to pray for you (whether over message or in person) but then didn't once you'd stated that you don't want them too?


I wouldn't be automatically offended if someone asked me and accepted that I didn't want the prayers.

What offends me is their disrespect towards others who don't share their faith. It's like what some Christians do in hospitals, hang around the sick to try to convert them in their moment of weakness, starting with offer of prayers.
Original post by It's****ingWOODY
I mean, if you believe it's actually something that works i.e. improves the chances that things will go as you asked for in your prayer, then sure. As I said, if someone prays for me then I appreciate the thought, but let's face it - nothing bad would ever happen to the religious if prayer actually worked :wink:


Whatever, a prayer is not a wish you tell a genie and poof it happens 😄 it's like karma. Bad people or just stupid people might not even realise it actually is them getting back what they deserve. Because they'd first have to even remember the person they hurt and then care. That doesn't mean that they didn't get their karma. It's the same with recognising when a prayer was answered. There's also some people who ask for bad things or with bad intentions. but never mind, I respect your opinion and the only reason I want you to explain is because I value your mind.
Original post by Bubs051213
Mainly aimed towards non-religious folks. How would you/do you feel about being prayed for? Not necessarily just in person but also, for example, if you messaged a friend telling them about a hard situation and they said they'd pray for you. I can understand that anyone who doesn't believe in a god/or the same God would perhaps find it pointless but would you be pleased/offended/find it awkward?
If it's a genuine attempt to show sympathy, and being done remotely, then I'd accept it in the spirit in which it was intended. Otherwise, I'd have a hard time not saying how pointless it is, but we won't go into that here (unless you want to).
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Salt Queen
Whatever, a prayer is not a wish you tell a genie and poof it happens 😄 it's like karma. Bad people or just stupid people might not even realise it actually is them getting back what they deserve. Because they'd first have to even remember the person they hurt and then care. That doesn't mean that they didn't get their karma. It's the same with recognising when a prayer was answered. There's also some people who ask for bad things or with bad intentions. but never mind, I respect your opinion and the only reason I want you to explain is because I value your mind.


As I said, though, if any of this was the case, then bad things wouldn't happen to good people. The religious generally pray for themselves and their loved ones to be kept safe and well - it'd be crazy to claim that this actually happened, countless people all over the world who were religious and have had horrible things happen to them that in some cases have resulted in death.

Quick Reply

Latest