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Would this be rude?
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Original post by LondonsSweetBoy
You mean the "Yo" part?
What's wrong with yo!, it's a normal formal introduction to a conversation.
What's wrong with yo!, it's a normal formal introduction to a conversation.
just made me picture a white, middle-aged dad trying to be 'hip and urban'
Original post by Nerry
just made me picture a white, middle-aged dad trying to be 'hip and urban'
omg
Original post by bluemadhatter
No hes really not, if she identifies as a she then she would be addressed as her/she. Read his replies, he doesn't seem to care whether he offends or not.
Please tell me how you address someone which you DO NOT know the gender of.
If he knew what the person identifies as, this wouldn't be a problem.
stop being daft
Original post by Londons SweetBoy
Yo yo yo yo yo!!!
What is good?
Anyway I have this person at my workplace, who I was placed with in this assigment..
But I am confused about her gender.
She/he got the face of a female with the make-up and long hair and all the whole shabang.
But...Her/he body is more masculine and she has these nice well defined traps
!
Her/he traps make me jealous
Anyway would it be rude if I was to ask her/he like "yo! are you like male or female"?
What is good?
Anyway I have this person at my workplace, who I was placed with in this assigment..
But I am confused about her gender.
She/he got the face of a female with the make-up and long hair and all the whole shabang.
But...Her/he body is more masculine and she has these nice well defined traps
!Her/he traps make me jealous
Anyway would it be rude if I was to ask her/he like "yo! are you like male or female"?
Stand directly outside the staff toilets with a drink, pour the drink on the floor and ask the wo/man if they can get some tissue from the toilet for you while you guard the spillage so no one slips over. Observe which toilet they go into, voila!
Original post by Kravence
Please tell me how you address someone which you DO NOT know the gender of.
If he knew what the person identifies as, this wouldn't be a problem.
stop being daft
If he knew what the person identifies as, this wouldn't be a problem.
stop being daft
well he stated that she dresses feminine (wears make up and carries handbags), speaks feminine and that he was 90% sure she was female but the 10% was bugging him. If someone appears feminine then most likely want to be addressed as a female. And I'm sure if you work with someone then other people in your work place would also address them as either a female or male.
If this was genuine curiosity then i would happy to give off ideas but he stated that if someone is trans that it makes him "uncomfortable" and that he should know about it. That is transphobic and shows that he cares more about the fact that she MAY be trans than the fact she gives off all these signals that she is female.
Original post by bluemadhatter
well he stated that she dresses feminine (wears make up and carries handbags), speaks feminine and that he was 90% sure she was female but the 10% was bugging him. If someone appears feminine then most likely want to be addressed as a female. And I'm sure if you work with someone then other people in your work place would also address them as either a female or male.
If this was genuine curiosity then i would happy to give off ideas but he stated that if someone is trans that it makes him "uncomfortable" and that he should know about it. That is transphobic and shows that he cares more about the fact that she MAY be trans than the fact she gives off all these signals that she is female.
If this was genuine curiosity then i would happy to give off ideas but he stated that if someone is trans that it makes him "uncomfortable" and that he should know about it. That is transphobic and shows that he cares more about the fact that she MAY be trans than the fact she gives off all these signals that she is female.
As others has already said, there are guys that act very feminine or that could be signs of a cross dresser hence the "10%"
He obviously hasn't seen someone else address the person as female or male or he wouldn't be having this problem and that would be unusual anyway, you're fair more likely to be addressed by your name which as already said, didn't help either.
He didn't say trans people made him uncomfortable, he said not knowing what the person identifies as does which is fairly reasonable. You wouldn't want to accidentally offend someone over something so small especially when you work together too.
If he was trans-phobic this thread would have been worded very differently.
Ask them for their pronouns. "Hey sorry if this sounds weird but could I ask for your pronouns?" if the person is dazzled and doesn't understand your question then clearly they're not trans. Trans people would much rather you ask them for their pronouns directly than misgender them.
Worst case scenario: she is cis and flips out because you insinuated she could be trans. Don't pay attention to her as she is just a transphobic person.
Best case scenario: the person tells you their pronouns (just don't forget to use them!)
Worst case scenario: she is cis and flips out because you insinuated she could be trans. Don't pay attention to her as she is just a transphobic person.
Best case scenario: the person tells you their pronouns (just don't forget to use them!)
Original post by babyri
You need to know.... so you don't feel uncomfortable?
But it's perfectly fine making a thread online telling complete strangers about them?
You sound so transphobic, I feel incredibly sorry for the person you're referring to.
But it's perfectly fine making a thread online telling complete strangers about them?
You sound so transphobic, I feel incredibly sorry for the person you're referring to.
What is so wrong in me asking complete strangers for advice?
This is what this forum room is made for.
And I am not transphobic.
Original post by bluemadhatter
You've got to be ****ing kidding me right now. You don't need to know anything. Why the **** would you feel uneasy and uncomfortable, you are clearly transphobic and need to stay the **** away from her. You must also be a troll so bye now.
THANK YOU. OP has some serious boundary issues. He's borderline stalker with the way he's obsessing about this issue. Honestly, as I trans person myself I HATE when people let my gender concern them. It's none of your ****ing business so stop making it your business, why does a stranger or even work colleague's gender MATTER to you?! Also how he was like 'she's my work colleague, I NEED to know' No honey, you don't. Why would it change your life in any way if you already know her pronouns WHAT?! OP obviously has entitlement issues as well. Urgh.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by lukauu
THANK YOU. OP has some serious boundary issues. He's borderline stalker with the way he's obsessing about this issue. Honestly, as I trans person myself I HATE when people let my gender concern them. It's none of your ****ing business so stop making it your business, why does a stranger or even work colleague's gender MATTER to you?! Also how he was like 'she's my work colleague, I NEED to know' No honey, you don't. Why would it change your life in any way if you already know her pronouns WHAT?! OP obviously has entitlement issues as well. Urgh.
Reading this was hilarious. How is this stalkish or obsessive behaviour
?This is a forum where you are allowed to voice your concern.
I have not stalked my co-worker nor have I harassed him/her on the topic.
We both get along quite well at work, it's just a thought that passes through my mind constantly when I am confronted by his/her presence. And I wanted advice on what would be the most appropriate action of asking her/him what his/her gender is without sounding rude.
It's not being stalkish or obsessive I am simply asking for advice.
Also I am not used to being in the presence of someone that is Trans so this is a new experience for me.
I don't know where you got the idea that I have entitlment issues?
You cannot ask that! Imagine if it were the other way round! Not all bodies are the same! If you know their name just use that! By the sounds of it she’s female, but don’t ask! It could cause a lot of embarrassment as well as a lowering in self esteem and confidence!
DON’T DO IT!!!
DON’T DO IT!!!
Original post by Nerry
just made me picture a white, middle-aged dad trying to be 'hip and urban'
😂😂😂😂
Original post by pellseason
shut the **** up you stupid mug
👀 everyone calm down, its a troll thread lol
Original post by LondonsSweetBoyReading this was hilarious.
Also I am not used to being in the presence of someone that is Trans so this is a new experience for me.
I don't know where you got the idea that I have entitlment issues?
Reading this was hilarious. Also I am not used to being in the presence of someone that is Trans so this is a new experience for me.
I don't know where you got the idea that I have entitlment issues?
Okay I understand your intentions are harmless, my comment wasn't even to you it was a random rant and my perspective. You're obsessive over this issue, plain and simple. Normal people will be curious, not come onto a forum saying you NEED to know because it makes you feel UNCOMFORTABLE. You know it's a rude question hence asking, but you NEED to know. Entitlement.
I don't care if you've never been around a trans person. We're people, and she clearly identifies as a woman, why the **** would it make you feel uncomforable?I get complete strangers (usually chavs) asking if I'm male or female because I'm pre-hormones and it pisses me off. I know theirs and your intentions are harmless but people are too involved in other people's affairs. You wouldn't ask a person with no hair if they have cancer, be more ****ing sensitive and realise that it shouldn't matter to you. That person could have gender dysphoria and think they pass and you've just ruined their day (not saying you should have been aware of that, but now you know). I just find it rude and intrusive, maybe other trans people are forgiving, but I'm not lmao. Be curious all you want I have no problems, ask me when you actually get to know me properly and we're friends.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Londons SweetBoy
Yo yo yo yo yo!!!
What is good?
Anyway I have this person at my workplace, who I was placed with in this assigment..
But I am confused about her gender.
She/he got the face of a female with the make-up and long hair and all the whole shabang.
But...Her/he body is more masculine and she has these nice well defined traps!
Her/he traps make me jealous
Anyway would it be rude if I was to ask her/he like "yo! are you like male or female"?
What is good?
Anyway I have this person at my workplace, who I was placed with in this assigment..
But I am confused about her gender.
She/he got the face of a female with the make-up and long hair and all the whole shabang.
But...Her/he body is more masculine and she has these nice well defined traps
!Her/he traps make me jealous
Anyway would it be rude if I was to ask her/he like "yo! are you like male or female"?
I guess it wouldn't be rude to ask, however, there are people who arent gender-specific like Ruby Rose. Shes clearly a female but doesn't define herself as having a gender. Anyway, why does it really matter for you to know her gender? It wouldn't really change anything tbh.
Original post by bluemadhatter
well he stated that she dresses feminine (wears make up and carries handbags), speaks feminine and that he was 90% sure she was female but the 10% was bugging him. If someone appears feminine then most likely want to be addressed as a female. And I'm sure if you work with someone then other people in your work place would also address them as either a female or male.
If this was genuine curiosity then i would happy to give off ideas but he stated that if someone is trans that it makes him "uncomfortable" and that he should know about it. That is transphobic and shows that he cares more about the fact that she MAY be trans than the fact she gives off all these signals that she is female.
If this was genuine curiosity then i would happy to give off ideas but he stated that if someone is trans that it makes him "uncomfortable" and that he should know about it. That is transphobic and shows that he cares more about the fact that she MAY be trans than the fact she gives off all these signals that she is female.
can you go whine elsewhere. the world is bigger than internet forum problems and if you keep getting hung up with everything like you are with this you're gonna have a hard time adjusting to the real world.
Original post by lukauu
Okay I understand your intentions are harmless, my comment wasn't even to you it was a random rant and my perspective. You're obsessive over this issue, plain and simple. Normal people will be curious, not come onto a forum saying you NEED to know because it makes you feel UNCOMFORTABLE. You know it's a rude question hence asking, but you NEED to know. Entitlement.
I don't care if you've never been around a trans person. We're people, and she clearly identifies as a woman, why the **** would it make you feel uncomforable?I get complete strangers (usually chavs) asking if I'm male or female because I'm pre-hormones and it pisses me off. I know theirs and your intentions are harmless but people are too involved in other people's affairs. You wouldn't ask a person with no hair if they have cancer, be more ****ing sensitive and realise that it shouldn't matter to you. That person could have gender dysphoria and think they pass and you've just ruined their day (not saying you should have been aware of that, but now you know). I just find it rude and intrusive, maybe other trans people are forgiving, but I'm not lmao. Be curious all you want I have no problems, ask me when you actually get to know me properly and we're friends.
I don't care if you've never been around a trans person. We're people, and she clearly identifies as a woman, why the **** would it make you feel uncomforable?I get complete strangers (usually chavs) asking if I'm male or female because I'm pre-hormones and it pisses me off. I know theirs and your intentions are harmless but people are too involved in other people's affairs. You wouldn't ask a person with no hair if they have cancer, be more ****ing sensitive and realise that it shouldn't matter to you. That person could have gender dysphoria and think they pass and you've just ruined their day (not saying you should have been aware of that, but now you know). I just find it rude and intrusive, maybe other trans people are forgiving, but I'm not lmao. Be curious all you want I have no problems, ask me when you actually get to know me properly and we're friends.
Why are you getting so emotional about a stranger asking you if you're male or female?
As you said you're trans so they are probably just curious.
I get random strangers asking me what country I originate from practically all the time due to me being exotic looking and from the Mediterranean. It doesn't annoy me in the slightest. I don't get offended or find it intrusive and start moaning. Because I understand it's a natural part of the mind to be curious.
And this is a forum room if no-one made threads because it might upset or offend a certain group of people then this forum room would be vacant.
And I don't feel uncomfortable knowing she/he might be trans, I am uncomfortable not knowing if she/he might want to be adressed as male, female or trans.
She/he is not a complete stranger she/he is my partner we communicate so it's important she/he makes me aware of her chosen gender as to not cause any confusion on my part.
(edited 6 years ago)
I think you could ask what alex is short for mate! That's the safest option I see
Original post by JoshDawg
can you go whine elsewhere. the world is bigger than internet forum problems and if you keep getting hung up with everything like you are with this you're gonna have a hard time adjusting to the real world.
This isnt an internet forum problem, this is an LGBT problem. Its a potential trans issue where other people feel entitled to know things that have the power to actually get someone killed. I have a perfectly fine time in the real world actually but thanks for ur concern. I will continue to stand up for issues that are important whether it be in real life or on here.
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