Miserable Fresher

I'm living on campus and I really am not enjoying uni. I just feel so left out all the time. I thought I'd made friends but I realize now that they don't like me, tonight they organized a girls night and specifically didn't include me. They even whispered about it and stopped talking when I came out of my room so I wouldn't tag along. Just feeling so left out and alone.
I imagined uni would be making life long friends and talking into the early hours of the morning but instead I spend my time feeling miserable and lonely. I don't know what to do. I'm considering dropping out but I love my course so I'm not sure that's the right choice.
I'm sorry I know this post is full of self pity and probably really annoying. Just feeling lost.

Reply 1

MikeyA

too much to ask what uni you go to?? Are they in the same hall as you? forget about them, I'd suggest joining societies and clubs to meet ppl with the same interests as you

University of East Anglia

Norwich

Visit website

Reply 2

siimiivb

AT the end of the day yeah friends make a big part of uni life but if you love your course stick to it, the mainpoint of going to uni is getting a degree and there are so many ways of making friends just try to step out of your comfort zone and join sports clubs...

Reply 3

jambojim97

If it was me I'd confront them about it and willingly make them feel very awkward but I wouldn't recommend doing that as I tend to make awful decisions.

Reply 4

Tinkerbelle97

Original post by MikeyA

too much to ask what uni you go to?? Are they in the same hall as you? forget about them, I'd suggest joining societies and clubs to meet ppl with the same interests as you

I'm at UEA, they are in the same flat as me so it makes stuff a bit tricky. They're also on my course. I think joining societies definitely sounds like a good starting point

Reply 5

Tinkerbelle97

Original post by jambojim97

If it was me I'd confront them about it and willingly make them feel very awkward but I wouldn't recommend doing that as I tend to make awful decisions.

Haha! I wish I had the confidence to do that but I think it would probably make things very awkward!

Reply 6

SomeWelshGuy123

Original post by Tinkerbelle97

I'm at UEA, they are in the same flat as me so it makes stuff a bit tricky. They're also on my course. I think joining societies definitely sounds like a good starting point

What block are you in, some blocks are friendlier than others. Societies is a good way to meet people, so are seminars. Also what course are you on? I might be able to connect you with some people if I know anyone on the course.

Reply 7

Tinkerbelle97

I'm in Suffolk Terrace which I thought had a reputation of being super friendly! I'm studying Adult Nursing. I definitely think I'm gonna throw myself into making friends in societies and seminars

Reply 8

SomeWelshGuy123

Original post by Tinkerbelle97

I'm in Suffolk Terrace which I thought had a reputation of being super friendly! I'm studying Adult Nursing. I definitely think I'm gonna throw myself into making friends in societies and seminars

The Ziggs are supposed to be friendly but in my opinion some of the en-suite campus is much friendlier (i'm probably biased though) There is a Nursing Soc if that interests you. Did you attend the fresher's fayre thing?

Reply 9

Tinkerbelle97

Original post by SomeWelshGuy123

I was in lectures all day on the day of the freshers fayre so I couldn't attend. I joined the BSL society which I'm really enjoying. Joining the nursing society seems like a logical step, I'll have a look into it :smile:

Reply 10

jelly1000

Original post by Tinkerbelle97

Sorry to hear that, your flatmates don't sound like nice people at all. The good thing though about uni is that flatmates aren't the be all and end all. Have you tried talking to others on your course? Societies and sports clubs are also a good place to meet people too.

Reply 11

University of East Anglia

Official Rep

Hi @Tinkerbelle97,

My name is Laura and I’m the Student Rep for UEA – I’d just thought I’d drop into this thread to offer some personal advice, as we want your time at UEA to be as enjoyable as possible!

Making friends at uni can be a daunting task and it can feel frustrating if you don’t gel with your housemates. I know what you might be going through as I didn’t really gel with my housemates either in my first year – we got on, but we were just all very different people – and at first I felt like I hadn’t done uni right because it seemed like everyone around me was making lifelong friends with theirs.

The great thing is that at university, you’re already part of a ‘network’ and there’s loads of ways you connect with people that have similar interests:

Be brave and say hi - Why not introduce yourself to someone on your course - asking them where they're from and how they're finding university so far can be a great ice-breaker. I met some of my life-long friends in my course, and found that whenever I started a new module, that putting myself out there and saying hi usually ended up making a new friend! Plus, it’s always appreciated when the person next to you strikes up a conversation when you’re in a new module and you don’t know anyone in the room! 

Join a club - UEA has a wide range - take a look at our clubs and societies to see what you could become part of and meet people with similar interests.

I certainly recommend checking out the Nursing Soc, you can find their page on the SU site here.

It’s never too late to join a society or try something new! Just give the societies that you’re interested in an email and ask if you can come along to their next social/event. 

Attend an event - Events are often held in universities to welcome new and existing students, providing advice, a bit of fun, and a chance to get to know people. If you're lucky, you might even pick up some free goodies!

One of the big campaigns at the UEA SU this year is ‘Say Hello’ and tackling loneliness on campus. The team at the SU are incredible friendly and helpful, and would be able to recommend upcoming events and socials where you can meet new people. You can find their office in the second floor of Union House, LCR or ping them an email at [email protected].

Try something new - It's tempting to hide away or over-think things when you're feeling vulnerable or nervous, but sometimes just saying yes to an opportunity, or trying something new can boost your confidence, and open doors you never new existed.

I really hope this helps, but if you do find that you’re still unhappy at UEA, then it might be worth contacting the Student Support Services here for advice and support, or arranging a chat with your personal adviser :smile:

