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Why do shy, inexperienced guys like me struggle to get girlfriends?

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Original post by It's****ingWOODY
You basically just repeated your last post. See my last post.


Stop trying to play like you’re smart ass and trying to twist my mind. I said everyone deserves love so leave it as that.
depends on how shy the guy is. if i can't hold a decent conversation with him then i'm very likely not to date him.
Original post by Anonymous
If girls like shy, inexperienced guys? Why do the arrogant guys who sleep with any girl they meet on a night out can easily get a girlfriend?


Just be yourself, talk to girls like you talk to your male friends. Don't put them on a pedestal, they are just people.

Improve yourself, hit the gym, wear nice clothes, groom well, have a good hairstyle, have good posture.

Love yourself and be happy, do things that make you happy, partake in your hobbies, relax, be proud of the person you are, you have just got much right as everyone else.

You could try online dating, speed dating, joining clubs based on hobbies, through college/uni, through your network and approaching females.

I hope this helps:

1) Relax, imagine you're just observing or there as a traveller. For example, if you are on holiday, you go there to experience and observe the attraction, you're not going to get anxious doing that are you?

2) Smile, smiling in contagious.

3) Be confident, respect yourself, accept yourself, work out, wear good clothes, feel good, focus on your passions, know you are a good person who treats people well, think positively, be proud of yourself, do things that make you happy, remember your happy times, what makes you confident? What makes you proud? Do you have a skill you are good at? Do things like cooking, driving, learning that increases your confidence daily.

Have good posture, body language, improve your appearance. Be happy with yourself.

4) Dress well, have good grooming, hairstyle, have good posture.

5) Just say hi or hey to people in your vicinity, who cares if they don't say anything back?

6) Ask how they are, how's everything, what made them choose this course, their plans for the future, their plans for the rest of the day, weekend, how was their weekend, what they will get up to, what they got up to, ask them about their hobbies, talk about what's happening.

Talk about the weather or did you see that sports game? Just mingle with them,

Compliment them, say "I like your jacket".

If you know they went on a holiday or somewhere, ask them about it etc.

7) Be passionate about life.

8) Lighten up, have a laugh, laugh easily, be friendly, approachable, interested, relaxed.

9) Look outside!
How do you find all my previous threads and what do they have anything to do with this? About the driving test I’ve passed last year 4th time lucky and I have my own car.

I’m ashamed to admit I’m very pessimistic person with self-esteem problems. I’ve tried taking small steps but it never works. I’ve been unemployed for 3 years, been rejected from all my uni choices and only have the one friend That’s mental health for you. I’ve been bullied, belittled, degraded and dehumanised all my life so I do also come across as bitter due to bad experiences.

I don’t think any girl would want to be with if I still have this pessimistic attitude and mindset. If I could just work on myself and improve on my weakness by taking baby steps then hopefully I’ll see results (starting by minor results then more results along the way).
Original post by Anonymous
Everyone deserves love even the disabled


Yeah, but nobody owes you love. I can't walk up to Christina Hendricks and say "I deserve love. Love me." and expect her not to call the cops.

Just because you want someone to love you doesn't mean they are under obligation to love you.
Original post by ThatOldGuy
Yeah, but nobody owes you love. I can't walk up to Christina Hendricks and say "I deserve love. Love me." and expect her not to call the cops.

Just because you want someone to love you doesn't mean they are under obligation to love you.


I undetand completely. I’m just saying that I do have a right to find love.
Original post by Anonymous
I undetand completely. I’m just saying that I do have a right to find love.


How have you been unemployed for 3 years?

Is it due to mental health issues or have you just not tried searching for a job?

I think you should prioritise your own needs first like a job and then you will have a more positive outlook helping your confidence etc. as you will be interacting with people on a daily basis
don't focus on getting a girl if your mental health isn't good.
Original post by entertainmyfaith
don't focus on getting a girl if your mental health isn't good.


I’m pretty sure there are couples with mental health problems
Original post by Anonymous
yeah well shy inexperienced girls struggle even more.


recognize
Original post by Anonymous
I’m pretty sure there are couples with mental health problems


yes, but that's not my point. why are you so hung up on finding love?
Crazy idea here, but maybe all girls have different experiences so they have different wants and needs? Maybe, just maybe, they like different qualities in people? And, I know this is a stretch here, but maybe they don't like being generalised?
Original post by entertainmyfaith
yes, but that's not my point. why are you so hung up on finding love?


I want what everyone else around has like my friends from school, family members, famous people and everyone in general is to have someone.
Original post by Anonymous
I want what everyone else around has like my friends from school, family members, famous people and everyone in general is to have someone.


i'd say it's best to focus on making friends first.
Original post by Anonymous
I undetand completely. I’m just saying that I do have a right to find love.


You do! So go do it. And don't blame others if you don't.
You did say it how it is to help pull myself unlike some people on here giving harsh answers in a way to making me feel like I’m some vile person. You gave me brutally honest answers but you also tried to give me constructive advice and some motivation.

One of the reasons why I’m pessimistic because of my past bad experiences and have the tendency to dwell in all the bad things that happened in the past.

How am I supposed to get a job when I never worked in my life or had any work experience? I don’t even have a CV because I don’t know how to make one or even have the motivation.

You know people like me are afraid to talk to someone regarding mental health.

I’m so pessimistic that I had a bad habit posting a lot of pessimistic posts that hardly get any likes or comments. As in 2017 I’ve been improving compared to how it was in 2014-16 but I still do it sometimes. I used to post e.g. “I feel like removing myself from this planet. It’s the only option I got left”.I’m trying to put a stop to it due the distress and annoyance that I may have courses to family members and friends I got on Facebook. I’m thinking of joining a running club or kick boxing that may slowly get it all kicking off.
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Avatar for Nerry
Nerry
15
maybe because... you're shy and inexperienced?
Original post by ThatOldGuy
You do! So go do it. And don't blame others if you don't.


Do I blame myself instead?
Original post by Anonymous
Stop trying to play like you’re smart ass and trying to twist my mind. I said everyone deserves love so leave it as that.

Maybe because your view is wrong? No girl simply owes you love because you think it should be that way
Original post by Anonymous
I want what everyone else around has like my friends from school, family members, famous people and everyone in general is to have someone.


Then work for it like everyone else does. Some have to work harder than others to get the same results, it's life.
Original post by Anonymous
Stop trying to play like you’re smart ass and trying to twist my mind. I said everyone deserves love so leave it as that.


If you're going to post something on the internet, it's open to being challenged. Deal with it.

You can't just say "I deserve love, why is nobody giving it to me?". You have to go and look for it, or at the very least be open to letting it find you. If you're shy and don't talk to anyone... well, it's gonna be harder to let it find you. It's like hoping you'll win the lottery when you haven't bought a ticket.

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