Do you think that I have no friends? With ADDED QUESTION

Surely you'd know if they were friends or not

Moderators, if possible , please keep this in Chat so I can get more responses.

I recently got some messages on social media from some people who I knew from a few years ago. I have Aspergers and struggle a lot to interpret messages like thie because of the effects of this on me I also tend to overanalyse messages and most of the time reach the wrong conclusions.

Please can I have some advise as to whether you think these people are my friends or not?

The first message from Person 1 said:

'First of all you need to chill. You are not a retard. The dictionary definition does not apply to you because you are social and you know how to interact with people. Only you can change your loneliness. Throw caution to the wind. Join a club/society. Ignore those who insult you - you have dealt with worse at school. If you think you have no friends then you are wrong. Look up the definition of friend in a dictionary and apply it to people you know. It's not all about uni work. You need to put yourself out there and friends will come your way.'

I think that the 'You need to put yourself out there and friends will come your way' suggests that this person doesn't consider me as a friend as 'friends will come your way' implies that they think that I have none, including them.

and the second message from Person 2 said: 'Just because you don't always talk to friends doesn't mean they aren't always there for you. Also, please never assume a person doesn't care about you just because they haven't told you so... I hope today has made you realise how many friends you have '.


I haven't saw either of these people for quite a long time now, although the messages are both fairly recent. I have them both on Facebook and we are in touch quite infrequently. Do you think that the people who sent me these messages are my friends? In particular, what is the significance of the ellipsis in the second message? Also, in the first message, I haven't saw this person for a few years now, so how can they so confidently say 'if you think you have no friends then you are wrong'?

Moderators, if possible , please keep this in Chat so I can get more responses.

I recently got some messages on social media from some people who I knew from a few years ago. I have Aspergers and struggle a lot to interpret messages like thie because of the effects of this on me I also tend to overanalyse messages and most of the time reach the wrong conclusions.

Please can I have some advise as to whether you think these people are my friends or not?

The first message from Person 1 said:

'First of all you need to chill. You are not a retard. The dictionary definition does not apply to you because you are social and you know how to interact with people. Only you can change your loneliness. Throw caution to the wind. Join a club/society. Ignore those who insult you - you have dealt with worse at school. If you think you have no friends then you are wrong. Look up the definition of friend in a dictionary and apply it to people you know. It's not all about uni work. You need to put yourself out there and friends will come your way.'

I think that the 'You need to put yourself out there and friends will come your way' suggests that this person doesn't consider me as a friend as 'friends will come your way' implies that they think that I have none, including them.

and the second message from Person 2 said: 'Just because you don't always talk to friends doesn't mean they aren't always there for you. Also, please never assume a person doesn't care about you just because they haven't told you so... I hope today has made you realise how many friends you have '.


I haven't saw either of these people for quite a long time now, although the messages are both fairly recent. I have them both on Facebook and we are in touch quite infrequently. Do you think that the people who sent me these messages are my friends? In particular, what is the significance of the ellipsis in the second message? Also, in the first message, I haven't saw this person for a few years now, so how can they so confidently say 'if you think you have no friends then you are wrong'?

The answer is simple. And easy to find. You can find it.

Look through your friends list and see if you can find these people on there. If you can't find them, they're definitely not your friends.

Hope that helped.

Hi Tomm,

I think that Person 1 cares about you, and is therefore giving you advice to better improve your life, but it doesn't seem like they are a very close friend of yours, because if they were, they would probably have said something like "don't forget, you have me" or "I'll always be your friend".

I think Person 2 is your friend and really cares about you. They are very encouraging and subtly hint that they are your friend, even if they don't explicitly say so. I don't think the ellipsis is very significant- it just signifies a pause, in my opinion.

So in conclusion, I think you definitely have two people that care about you very much, especially Person 2.

Have a good day!
Anna xx

Hey!
I really easy way to find out would be just to ask them both Say something like 'Would you consider us to be friends?'
Job done!

Generally speaking, how does one spot their true friends?

extremely rare to come by but true friends for me understand me and don't mind helping me in any reasonable situation i need them in. Along with a host of multiple other qualities it's not the easiest thing to define a true friend, what it really is i think is that what suits you. Each person has their own perfect idea of a friend

Suppose if I had someone who I wanted to speak to, even if we haven't spoken for a few months prior.

I ask 'Please can I talk to you' and they get back pretty much straight away with 'of course,...' - do you think that I have a good friend in this person?

just like how true friends have multiple qualities, you can judge if you have a good friend simply if they reply.

you gotta get to know them in person and hang around them to learn more about them, generally ppl show their true selves after a while.

There is a limit to how much of a friend a person can be when chatting to them through any electronic means. There's only so much you can know about them, you don't know their appearance, hygiene, how the act etc so there's only so much you can know

I'd say it's a good start but you gotta look out for more of those qualities of a friend that you look for in a person.